Resist the Greige Nation: Graveyard of the Atlantic

I restrained myself for a whole month. But, after my recent outburst to Resist The Greige Nation, I have potent new ammo to go after this color trend a second time, namely: Pionite’s new kitchen countertop laminate, aptly named: Graveyard of the Atlantic. Do I really need to say more? Did that ever stop me?: Greige Nation = A freezing cold dark drowned death at the bottom of the sea, crabs and snails with no eyes and ghoulish sea monsters eating away at your flesh, your lifeless body sinking sinking sinking into the mushy nothingness of the earth, the weight of the salty water upon you, no proper burial possible… the light, the love, all human warmth… forever gone. *I slap myself and snap out of it.* Gray is fine, and even the color greige is fine, and I like some of the other colors in the new Pionite collection a lot. But, I just don’t think that a tsunami of greige Everywhere is what we need as a country right now, nor do I believe we are a Greige people. This is color marketing run amok amuk amuck. IMHO. Have A Nice Day. 🙂


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  1. dcgrl says

    My countertops are original 1957 gray linen look. I love them with my white cabinets, but the formica is damaged (burns) in a couple of places and ready to be replaced. This might be a good choice. But I’m also tempted to go with yellow. Thoughts?

    • pam kueber says

      dcgirl, I think the choice is really up to you, obviously you can do anything with white cabinets. I have a few more new pionites to put onto the blog that have a tight linen almost tencel look (i guess i’d say) – one gray, one greenish gray. i’ll post them tomorrow….

        • pam kueber says

          i agree! i’m just having some fun… but only sort of. what gets me blasted about this greige thing is that i think it’s just color marketers and marketeers trying to get america to like something new that is so in stark contrast to what they have been selling the past 5-10 years — so that folks will be dissatisfied with what they already have and feel like they have to ditch the old trend and buy the new trend. it kind of gets to the heart of my blog which is Love The House You’re In… let it speak to you about what it wants… and ignore the mass marketers trying to sell you whatever is hot today

  2. Amy Hill says

    If you ever want to clear a bunch of people out of your house, put that old classic “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald” on the stereo!

    Thanks for “A Perfect Sorm” to start my week-end off, Ms Pam!

    Getting close to Halloween.

    • pam kueber says

      I absolutely positively also thought about The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald when I read that name color and wrote the post. “Lake Michigan… never gives up her dead”…. Yes: The song conveys the horror of the watery grave….

  3. Annie B. says

    This post has me rolling for numerous reasons! Graveyard of the Atlantic? Are they nuts? I’ll have to admit they’re spot on in getting the color right as I can see said Graveyard from where I sit.

    Why couldn’t they’ve chosen a more “uplifting” descriptive name such as “Bruised Toe” or “Ad for Prozac”? Seriously, I admire gray and beige as much as anyone when used appealingly; mix ’em, and the color just looks dirty, in my opinion.

    I really do like their orange-y sample, though.

    • Gavin Hastings says

      They could have called it “Grey Fedora”….but how could you incorporate that into cocktail party banter when folks congregate in the kitchen?

      Nope, the dramatic nonsense of “Graveyard of the Altlantic” works for me, and I would keep a titled sample chip handy to prove it.

      • Annie B. says

        How could you incorporate “Grey Fedora” into cocktail party banter in the kitchen?? Gavin! Just wait until it’s five o’clock here in the Graveyard of the Atlantic and listen very carefully.

        Actually, folks in this neck of nowhere would’ve called that color “Gray TROUT”.

        I’m going to order a sample chip and hang it on my kitchen wall.

        Thank you, Pam, et. al., for all this fun.

  4. Sandie Sinatra says

    Oh Pam, this one was great! I laughed out loud! “Graveyard of the Atlantic” – so NOT Don Draper!!!! And Gavin with the “Grey Fedora”-LOL-now that’s more in line with Draper! And when I think of when I had my little 1949 house and put “butcher block” on the kitchen counters……… What I would do differently today!!!! LOL 🙂

  5. Lynn-O-Matic says

    I agree with Gavin–I would keep the sample chip handy. In fact, I would frame it and hang it on the wall. Just adds to the charm. I would keep a copy of your rant handy, too, Pam. I loved it. My fantasy job has always been to be the person who dreams up the paint color names. I once painted my bathroom in Flesh Charm.

    I love all these Pionite suedes, and the colors look great together. This grey might be dreary all alone, but add some paint and accessories in a couple of the livelier colors and you’ve got yourself a room.

  6. napgirl says

    Color is SO personal and SO hard to pin down, I’ve been obsessing about the question for weeks now! I got about a million sample chips and sheets from Formica, Arborite, Chemetal, Nevamar, Pionite, Wilsonart, Arpa, Marmoleum, and probably a few other brands I’ve forgotten — in hopes of finding appropriate countertop and flooring choices to go with my new, still-uninstalled pale-yellow St. Charles cabinets. NONE of them really sang to me — nothing was working. I finally realized that it’s the CABINET color that’s not cutting it — a pretty serious drag, since I had the cabs shipped clear across the country, and they’re in spectacular shape. So — sigh — I’m now planning to have them electrostatically repainted in an in-your-face orangey red that I KNOW I’ll love. I’ve already started buying red Dansk enamelware on eBay to match them.

    So, Pam, I’m totally with you on the greige thing, but for me it’s even more about the saturation than the actual tone. If my cabinets were only a stronger shade of yellow, I wouldn’t touch them, but I’ve come to understand that I’m all about those intense, bright reds, oranges, and marigolds….

  7. Susan says

    This has to be the only place (virtual or physical) that I can feel OK about hanging on to my formica (& other brands) sample chips, even a year AFTER my kitchen redo is complete. I can’t find the receipt for the trash can that’s malfunctioning, but I know where those chips are! Seems to me one of them was a deep red. I’ll check when I get home… My counters are the new red cracked ice (–I didn’t go for subtle or super-authentic, just the one that sang to me! (Does that make the countertops mid-mod Sirens?) Good luck with your search!

  8. MaryE says

    Pam, you hit the nail right on the head when you talked about marketers/ marketeers. That is PRECISELY what goes on in design houses everywhere. It’s not only the apparel industry that dictates what colors we will buy–home decor does it too, and it’s a big deal and big business. The old joke about whatever color being the ‘new black’ or the ‘new red’ is pretty accurate. Stoking the machine.

  9. says

    This describes my 1952 wood kitchen well. The previous owner loves gray. The kitchen floor and laminate countertops are all this sort of gray and they painted the wood cabinets white with the original black colonial hardware. Stark. She even painted the cabinet shelves gray. At least the walls are white. I’m considering stripping and faux patinating the hardware towards pewter or verdigris, painting the interior of the cabinets a very pale blue, light blue chairs and I don’t know what for the counters. A honey wood to warm up the room and complement the hardwood in the other rooms?

  10. Jacquie Y says

    Just saw this! This 72 ranch we are in now has a full u-shape counter with a breakfast bar and it is massive…all kind of a medium gray. The lady that lived here before painted every room, cabinet, wall, nook and cranny gray…with white-ish berber carpeting everywhere but the laundry room and kitchen. (Even the master bath. (eeeeewwwwwww!!!!!) Needless to say that is gone and we put color in every room…my kitchen is a pinkish orange. It actually looks really good with the gray counter until I saw this sad, sad name of this laminate. Maybe I should squeeze some bright orange counters into the house fixer upper budget???
    Also, I’m sitting here looking at Pam and Kate’s pics, did anyone ever notice that Pam looks like a young Catherine O’Hara? Just sayin’ ( I love Catherine OHara!)

  11. Edward Howard says

    It took me a while to figure out what a “Greige” was – I’m a guy so what do I know about color?! But I really enjoyed that because you laid your wrath upon something such as in those design shows my wife watches. Continuing through your outpouring, I got to the part about what was best for our country and I did not know if this was a State of the Union Address or a script from a Charles Bronson movie. It was great! (that DeWalt drill in your hand is not loaded is it?)


  12. Michelle F. says

    I just ordered a 5′ x 12′ sheet of this (from a construction company’s overstock, btw, where I got it at a discount of over 50% including shipping the sheet from NC to WI!). I can’t wait to see it. I loved the sample–although I completely see what you mean about the greige. But I LOVE it. We’re going to metal band it with curved edges, so we’ll see what happens 😉 Thank you so much for your blog–it has been invaluable as we gently renovate our 1932 bungalow!

    • pam kueber says

      Sounds great, Michelle! I have nothing against the color per se — it’s the current-day trend of marketeers encouraging homeowners to saturate their homes in it. I find it extremely ironic: Most people say they want lots of light in their house. But, if you put gray on everything — it sucks the light right out of the place!

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