Several weeks ago, when I wrote an excessively wordy reflection about evil glee sledgehammering and other delights, there were many lovely reader comments — very thoughtful responses, which kind of got to the heart of the issue much better than I did. The issue being, how we can respect and show gratitude for our vintage homes and the tastes of their previous owners, at the same time we make them our own. Here is one such story: Dawn tells us about her house… its longtime owner Miss Jean… and Miss Jean’s rose bush. Dawn writes:
I absolutely love my house. Like, I am IN love with my house. To the point that most of my friends and family think I have lost a few marbles.
I have a great love and respect for her and the families she has served.
Built in 1959 I researched and feel I know BOTH previous owners. The original was the builder. And he indeed built a solid fine house. Seven years later he sold it to his daughter’s mother-in-law. Still in the family!
I bought the home from Miss Jean. This is what I call her. I absolutely feel she is in every corner of this house. She owned this house for 52 years. She LOVED this house. Her husband and she bought this house when he returned from the war. He had polio. And he died in this house in 1988. She lived here alone in the house she loved without her husband. By all accounts she was feisty and fiercely independent. I love this. For I am the same way! She was forced out of this house due to old age and Alzheimers. And it was so much a part of her that one year later, she passed away and her funeral procession went by the house.
In my heart, this will always be mine AND Miss Jean’s house. I share it with her willingly and with love. I have updated it slightly. Always thinking to myself, “I hope Miss Jean likes this!” I ripped up her carpets. And I felt bad. But I also asked her forgiveness.
Carpets do not fit my two dog and one cat lifestyle. Miss Jean is probably cringing up there thinking of my dogs in her house. LOL.
After living here a year I feel good. My house is a mix of old and new. Because that’s who I am, too. Jean was the old. I am the new. And I don’t think there is one thing wrong about blending our two lives and styles.
The point of this rambling mess is this. It IS my house, and I can and will do what makes ME happy, but part of what makes me happy is thinking about what Miss Jean liked and what would make HER happy. I honor her because she honored this house.
This year on the one-year anniversary of her death, I took a clipping from her rose bush out to her grave site. When I first moved here I started hacking away at the darn thing because I didn’t know what it was and it was horribly over grown. My neighbor came over to tell me to stop. She said that gets BEAUTIFUL in the spring!
She is right. It does. Its over grown. It sits to close now to the driveway so we can’t park there. But, well, Miss Jean planted it God knows how long ago, and it’s absolutely gorgeous in full bloom.
What I once hated I have now grown to love…
Stephanie says
Dawn,
Your story brought tears to my eyes! My husband and I are waiting to hear back on a house we put in an offer for. It’s a 1956 ranch…one owner. It’s perfect. One bathroom is pink, the other sea foam. Yellow tile kitchen, original parquet floors. Beautifully lanscaped yard. The house is an estate…and me being the creeper that I am have already thoroughly researched it’s owner’s life story. I have already grown to love this woman. I know if we are lucky enough to get this house that I want to honor her just as you have done.
Today is the last day that offers will be accepted on the house. We should get an answer by noon on Monday.
Fellow retro renovators: please wish us luck! I couldn’t bear the thought if losing this house!
Lauryn says
Oh Stephanie, of course you must share pictures of the house if you become the lucky (for you and the house) new owners. Keeping fingers and toes crossed for you!
Stephanie says
Lauren,
Thank you for your kind words! I will be posting pictures! Lots of them! Pam will probably have to kick me off! Haha. I have always wanted to be part of the retro renovation group…but we currently live in a 1979 patio home. Not too much to brag about. I have made it feel as much like the 50’s and 60’s as humanly possible. But you can only put so much lipstick on a pig. I can’t wait to get into a home where all my mid century furniture will finally fit in! 🙂
Dawn says
Good luck Stephanie. We put in and lost out on two previous offers before we found this house. I had actually called my realtor the day before to tell her we were taking a break for awhile. Then I truly believe this house found me…I was not looking in this area at all…But that’s a story for another day…LOL. Whats meant to be will be…I truly believe that…Best of luck and great vibes sent your way!
LauraL says
Dawn, I feel like our house found us, too. My husband and I lost out on two bidding wars when our Realtor called us about a house to come on the market in a few days. We feel in love with this place, put in our offer and was outbid by$800. The deal fell through. Our Realtor asked us if we wanted to re-bid. Well, yes! We were ready to take a rest from looking after losing again, but we won this time around.
Our house came with over 20 boxwoods personally started by Mrs. Sheehy some 40 years ago and a large camellia I thought of as hers. The summer before she passed, I sent Mrs. Sheehy some mis-directed mail. She called to thank me for sending the mail and said her son had driven her by to see the old house. She said she could tell we were taking good care of it and told me how happy she was we hadn’t taken out the camellia by the kitchen window. I fussed at my husband when he gave Mrs. Sheehy’s camellia a hard pruning last Fall, but we were rewarded with beautiful blooms again this Spring.
rick says
Dawn.
You may want to send the family a short note letting them know how you love “their” house just the way it is and would leave most of it unchanged. Houses that have been in the family a long time are not always sold to the highest bid. They may feel better about the family home being loved as is.
rick
Dawn says
Thanks Rick. I have stayed in contact with Jean’s son. He was the one that sold the house to me on her behalf. I have told him that he and his family are always welcomed here!
Stephanie says
Well…we LOST THE HOUSE….and I am even sadder than I thought I would be. All we know is that we were outbid. We are hoping and praying that the buyer will back out once they realize what the costs of “remodeling” an all original 1956 house might be.
For now…I am throwing a pity party. 🙁
pam kueber says
boo hoo. it’ll work out though. it really will.
Stephanie says
Thanks Pam! I know it will. We had our pity party and now we’re moving on!
Lauryn says
Oh, I’m so sorry Stephanie! It sounds a bit cliched but I always try to remember that things happen for a reason. You will find your house … or your house will find you. Keep the faith!!
Stephanie says
Thanks Lauren! The pity party is over and we’re on the house hunt again. We drove around in an area we’re not familiar with yesterday. It was filled with cute little brick houses from the 40’s and 50’s. It gave me hope! My spirit is renewed 🙂
chutti says
Good luck getting the house!
I hope you’ve written a nice letter to the estate folks via the realtor that lets them know you love the house because you can feel the life well lived in it.
I’ve written more than one letter like that with great results!
I also have sold to folks with less $$ because of one.
Keeping fingers crossed, and hope to see pix….
Stephanie says
Oh yes, we poured our hearts out in a letter to the trustees. Good to know that it might help! The house is priced at the top of our budget, so we have very little $$ to make a counter offer if it comes to it. I hope our letter brings us luck! 🙂
Chutti says
This is a wonderful story! I am so pleased to hear from other readers who feel a sense of stewardship for their homes.
We purchased our home almost 2 years ago from the estate of a 92 year old lady, and have since learned more about her and her 40 years in the house from neighbors. By all accounts, she was a tiny gracious lady with a big gruff hubby who loved nothing more than her roses….over 60 of them on a city lot!
While I adored cutting flowers that first summer, 60 pedigreed roses and a lawn was too much for us. We are strong native plant enthusiasts and lawns are pretty much against our religion, so to speak. We’ve done a very sensitive total landscape of our front yard (along with two neighbors) so we have a mini nature preserve on our block. We delight in seeing birds and insects return where once there were none. I was able to keep about 15 roses along the sides of the house, and love them.
My neighbors gave me a crash tutorial in pruning, which helps a lot. There are many, many video resources on line as well. My key takeaway is open them up to air and be somewhat ruthless. You’ll learn without making huge mistakes!
The 40 rose bushes in the tiny back yard would have to go. Once our trailer was parked, we couldn’t even hang laundry! These were beautifully maintained competition worthy specimens, and I knew they represented a good part of her life. I placed ads with our local neighborhood association and on Craigslist, and after a few false starts, gave them away to good homes.
The majority of them went to a delightful man from Taiwan, who is absolutely rose-mad. He tends an extensive collection because he feels it is uniquely American to have a rose garden and the space to do so. He was well aware he was getting prize specimens. As he drove off with the last bushes, I could absolutely feel our old gal smiling down.
You done good!
Chad says
This reminds me, in a way, of my grandfather’s prized hydrangeas. He gave them to us, and we dug them up and placed them on the tailgate of the family station wagon, bare root. My dad had me hold onto them while lying down in the back of the car while the tailgate was wide open when I was about 14, and this seemed like quite the adventure to me! The bushes broke apart and after putting some of the smallest pieces back together, we got 4 out of Grampa’s 2. I expect that my sister and I will both take these with us again, though if we have luck dividing them again, I’d probably leave some behind for the next owners of my parents’ house too.
Wendy M. says
Dawn- I feel very much the same way about our home! It does feel like a delicate balance-honoring the history of the home and the previous owners, while making it your own. I think the fact you are aware this means you will make decisions that are kind and good for the house in the long run. Thanks for sharing your story!
mollie d says
What a great letter- so sweet!!
Would love an update with more pics of the hosue!
Annie B. says
Will someone please hand me a Kleenex? Beautiful story.
LB says
Dawn, I love this story and I’m sure Miss Jean is smiling down on you! I think Miss Jean’s rosebush might be a rugosa rose “Hansa”. The mid-century ranch I grew up in had a huge bush in front of the living room picture window–it was planted by the original owners. The blooms were amazingly fragrant, and my mom used to float them in bowls of water all over the house. When my parents built a new house in 1972, my mom took along a cutting to plant next to the patio door at our new place. My bedroom was right above this, and I can still remember the smell coming in the window every summer. After my dad died, my mom downsized to a condo with no place to plant a rosebush. I was in college and couldn’t take a cutting when she sold the house. When I bought my own place, I started looking for a rosebush of my own. I didn’t know its official name (my mom had always called it a wild rose), but my local nursery eventually figured it out for me. I have one outside my back door now and the smell still reminds me of the houses I grew up in. The Cliff Walk in Newport, RI is lined with lots of rugosas. They’re very hardy and salt resistant. I wonder if these were a popular mid-century planting?
Dawn says
I would have to say yes. When we walk around our neighborhood MANY homes have one or many of these rosebushes. It must have been a VERY popular choice in the 60’s.
Jamie says
Thank you for giving us the name! My grandparents’ 1960s ranch house used to have a lovely rose bush outside that smelled absolutely delicious. So, since a very young age, I’ve expected roses to smell wonderful. Sadly, all of the roses you buy in stores are devoid of fragrance. I’ve started to think I just imagined how lovely roses used to smell. Now I know what to plant when I finally get a house!
Laura MacKay says
I’m in a similar situation, Dawn! We bought our house from Mollie. She was the original owner and had lived here for 51 years. She was an avid gardener, all the neighbors tell me how Mollie used to work in the yard every single day without fail. It really is a gorgeous garden. But, it’s far too much for me to keep up with. I enjoy a little light yard work, but with a two year old and a four year old, even that is hard to get around to. So now I’m trying to plan how to make the garden more low maintenance. It makes me sad that much of Mollie’s garden will be gone, but I think she would understand. And I will keep the things that were clearly the most precious to her. There is a tree peony in the back yard that was clearly one of her prize plants, I will make sure that is taken care of, no matter what else I do in the yard.
Janet says
Dawn, your story gave me the shivers, because I am the exact same way about my house, which belonged to Aunt Esther. My husband grew up with her nephew and knew Aunt Esther well. She had no children and doted on her nephew and his friends. When we moved in, the house and yard had been vacant and neglected for two years and in really sad condition overall. We didn’t change anything inside, at least not yet, but she was an avid flower gardener and the gardens were so hopelessly overgrown, we had to take them all out but saved and replanted whatever we could. The entire yard was a disaster too and we also had to remove all the ten foot high blueberry bushes that were too tall to pick and no longer fruitful. I apologized to Aunt Esther profusely. Soon after we moved in, I was searching for something in my desk and picked up a booklet and a piece of paper fell out of it. It was Aunt Esther’s obituary and I have no idea how it ended up in that booklet. I think she was sending me a message that she was glad we were fixing up her house. This house is not “new” enough to be retro and I am trying to work with it in the fifties colonial style that suits it, such as using a fifties maple dining room set and retaining the horizontal wood siding rather than going vinyl. I love retro the most but am doing what is appropriate to the house and that is how I will continue to work to restore and furnish it. So I love your story on the rose bush and good luck with the house.
jay says
Dawn, what a lovely story! But please don’t be cowed by your neighbor. That rose bush needs serious pruning to live a long and healthy life or it will choke to death. consult with a rosarian or arborist for the proper way to prune or have them do it for you, the bush can also be moved to a more suitable location. Enjoy your house.
Dawn says
Yes. I know it does need pruned. And probably moved.
Chad says
Actually, pruning your rose bush aggressively is good for it. You’ll want to read about how to do it right, but it’s not particularly hard. You might get your driveway back and have even more blooms on the bush next year.