Here is a good one to end the week: Reader “A” (I cloaked her name and state) wrote recently to ask for help in responding to what she called “social backlash” — negative reactions from people in her social sphere who can’t comprehend her passion for mid century design. What shall we advise her, fellow Retro Renovators? Read on for her tale….
“A” writes”
Pam,
I’m new to your blog, and I absolutely love it, but if I’m asking something you have touched on a million times I apologize. I made an attempt to search, but came up with nothing.
I’m at a bit of a low point right now, and I’d love some reassurance or commiseration of any sort — or hey– even a reality check!
I’m just starting down the road into retroville– truthfully I’ve loved it all for a long time but wasn’t brave enough to really commit until I lived in California and realized there were a lot of people who loved the mid 20th century as much as I did.
I have recently moved back to my hometown area in [state] and have begun searching for a mid century modern home to buy with my husband and kids, and along the way I am thrifting and searching for “old” furniture from the same time period.
My question to you is, do you ever get bogged down by people’s negative reaction to what you are doing or did? And secondly, was it all worth it in the end?
I love my midcentury things, but I am swiftly becoming tired of having to defend my taste to everyone I come in contact with. My husband is sweet and patient with me, but I think he wishes I’d give it up. My kids are nervous about “living in the 60’s” as they put it, and everyone else falls somewhere between thinking I’m crazy to acting genuinely threatened and angry with me for trying to resurrect the past.
I’m honestly shocked, why are people threatened by different design tastes? Have you ever had these types of experiences?
I keep telling myself that when it all comes together it will be so great and it will be all worth it, but sometimes I feel like it would be easier to give it all up.
Isn’t it strange how strongly people react to retro things?
Thanks at the very least for letting me sob on your cyber shoulder, its nice to come here and be with people with like minds.
“A”
“A”, my first thought, when I read your letter, was that I’d tell these rude people, Bite Me. Hence, the always-but-really-probably-never-appropriate Anne Taintor caption. (Better, I think, to take the high road… much as it would feel good [for a moment] to dish it right back.)
Seriously, I do have a way that I would recommend responding. But I will hold back and let the tribe offer up their thoughts and advice first.
Scott says
Personally, I’ve been “into” MCM and have been collecting for over 30 years. Some people just don’t get it. MCM has come into vogue the past year or so and now everyone thinks I’m so “retro”. It’s not retro, it’s vintage. My MCM friends and I don’t need to communicate our taste to each other. We just see it as our normal. A person’s love of everything Mid-Century is just what you’re born with – like having blue eyes or brown hair..
Lynn says
People calling my vintage stuff retro annoys me too! I want the real thing–not a reproduction, if I can get it. You are right. I’ve loved everything from this time period for as long as I can remember and it doesn’t seem to have been influenced by anyone else. It’s just a part of me.
Amy says
My husband & I bought a 1960’s house last year and jumped right in to the era – which we both experienced as kids and feel warmly about. We’ve stayed true to the lines of this home and the style – so fun! It brought us closer – and our parents & siblings enjoy our decor – nostalgic. I’ve had a few friends, my boss & a neighbor react as if I committed treason – betrayed the hgtv “standard” of granite countertops, espresso finishes and spa bathrooms. These are people who let the media & furniture stores dictate to them what they should like. The older you get, the more you distinguish a trend from a classic. I HAD the 1918 home with the Craftsman touches – the lamps & furniture, the “country” look before that – all very safe & comfortable styles. But this home would look downright silly with those fashions. Meanwhile, I see on TV – sitcoms, talk shows etc – that MCM lines ARE catching on. Look at the hysteria over “Mad Men!” Hold on, everyone – we’re just at the head of the pack, and soon everyone will scramble to get what we have. We’re leaders, they are followers.
sandy houston says
I consider it extremely rude of friends to make negative comments on one’s taste in decor. If they don’t care for it, a noncommittal “Mmmm – interesting” or “I see what you are doing here” would suffice. But there is a positive too – these dislikers will not be competing with you at the next estate sale or thrift shop – so they are to be treasured too:)
We currently live in New Zealand where there is not much “stuff” from the mid century era due to strict import controls at that time. Most lovely Danish and other Scandinavian modern arrived here with immigrants from Europe.
Keep up the good work – Sandy
Danielle from CO says
We just purchased a 1957 ranch that has the low roofline and front window style that we love. The house has been updated, but we were so happy that the flippers left in the original gray tub and toilet in the upstairs bath. Of course, they installed boring flooring and porcelain bath tiles, but we plan on retro remodeling that back. That’s the reason my mother never told me about the house – she HATED the bathroom!! Well, that’s the reason my husband and I love it! The flippers did the same in the kitchen, boring floor tiles and the granite countertops. Again, something we have plans to remodel. But still, we plan on being in this house for the next 20 years, or until our kids are grown. Some friends of ours tell us we are such a cool couple and that this house just totally fits us. I’m so happy to hear that, but if it was negative I would just brush it off. Unfortunately, it hurts most when it’s family. I do have to say, I scored a Heywood Wakefield buffet, wishbone dining table with leaf, six dining chairs and two step-end tables for $1150, and they fit perfectly in here!
Richard says
IMO no other era gets more negative attention than the 1970s…just happens to be my fav. If others don’t approve…oh well. I’m not looking for their approval anyhow.
J D Log says
I have been collecting 50-60’s since I Was 18 (32 years ago) so my friends are use to my ways their attitudes vary from that is the way he is, to admiration.
Last October I took 2 months overdue leave from my work to restore the outside of my place for my 50th party. I live in a conservative neighbourhood. I removed anything rotted and replaced it. I painted the Fascia boards black (a famous Queensland architect of the 50’s) the eves pink the main house a 1960 green and a red front door. I restored a few 50’s garden statues (birds seahorses etc) Painted the ceiling of the carport a black and white chequer pattern (saw this on a 50’s house which has since been painted dark blue), the garage door an abstract pattern of yellow black and pink ( saw this on a 50’s garage door now painted over in a dark brown). Although this might sound ghastly it really does work and was typical of the more colourful houses of the 1950-60’s in Australia.
Getting to the point of the story this was the 1st time I went visually public with my taste (apart from my old cars) I was surprised by the reaction of the locals ranging from school kids to old people and cars stopping outside my place and looking at the place for a good 5 minutes. The responses ranged from people shaking their heads or sneering to people taking photos and knocking on my door wanting to see more. So I guess the moral here that we are all have different tastes and you will always get different reactions. I got to admit I got a evil little delight seeing peoples responses on something outside the square.
pam kueber says
It sounds FABULOUS!
Julie C says
I purchased my first house in August, having been wanting my own nest for as long as I could remember. I don’t have a partner, and I finally decided I don’t give a darn, I’m going to do it. I bought a 1950/60 walk-out basement two story that was built in two phases, speaking to the thrift and quality of the era. My joists are unbreakable – the walls are double layer plaster over sheetrock. No new house would compare tot he quality of this house. The former owners had really let it get into disarray, the basement level unused for years (despite an amazing full-wall functioning fireplace), and I have had a lot of work to do yet… currently focusing on the bathrooms, as both were a mess. The architecture of the house is nothing but Mid Century Modest at it’s peak, and it would be a waste to not celebrate that in my decor, too. I’ve inherited some lovely antiques that were older than MCM era, but they have special value to me, so I decided to celebrate the thrift of the original house and merge, but have some awesome thrift finds to incorporate and the remodels will celebrate the era. There’s a lot to love in our past – why waste?
pam kueber says
You go for it! I owned two homes of my own before I had a bona-fide significant other!
Mary-C says
As someone who is MCM in age!!!…….I recall how most folks in my home area, Western Pennsylvania, were really into “colonial” style furniture, the Cape Cod curtains, spinning wheels, old crocks, oil lamps…the whole shebang, in the 50s especially!!! Then Danish Modern seeped in, at least in some homes for awhile. In the 80s Country Living took over and there were specialty “country” decorating shops all over the place…..kind of a flashback to the 50s. Sooooooo………for a lot of us to go back and embrace the clean lines, and promise of all things modern, of our youth seems like a natural reaction.
Fifteen years ago we built a contemporary Southwest home in New Mexico. It has a white lacquered Ikea kitchen….with Formica counters…..that looks a lot like the 50s steel cabinets. Everyone who sees it LOVES it…..we have “contemporary” (Italian & Scandinavian modern style) furnishings for the most part, with a few “western” accents! It works well together.
What interests me is that my 30-something daughter-in-law is IN LOVE with MCM, and she & my son found and bought their MCM dream house in St. Louis, MO a couple years ago…..complete with the original Youngstown kitchen!!! I am so happy for them, and have fun finding MCM things to add to their home, including items I still have that belonged to my mom and aunts!
Beverly says
It does take some “getting used to” sniffs of depreciation. My husband is of the “out with the old; in with the new” persuasion. It takes a LOT of compromise to restore an older house and find things in keeping with its astethics.
People will always have their “dream house” visions. Their “visions” aren’t my vision of a dream house.
When talking with family and friends who are unable to imagine “living with old things”, I just smile. It’s easier for me to let someone express ones views & opinions… A form of “talk therapy”. Someone might talk oneself into enjoying this quaint house and enjoy visiting after all.
Sarah C says
This may sound unrelated but give it a minute. About a decade ago I decided to change my first name. I had been talking about changing it since I was 7 so… that made it about 30 years in the planning.
Now I can understand my parents being upset. They gave me the name and have used it to address me for longer than I can remember. But you would be shocked at the number of people, with no real investment in my name, who were *angry* about it. I was really mystified for a while until I realized their problem. They were thinking, “Hey! I’ve always hated my name too. How come she gets to change hers and I don’t?”
And the answer to that is… because they were chicken livers who could not stand up and say, “This is the change I want and I’m going to make it – even though it is really non-standard!”
So, I’m going to guess that you have the girlnads to be **YOU** – the fabulous and non-standard YOU that you want to be and they … don’t. You doing of your thing points-up to them that they are either ordinary or too “skeeeerd” to wave the above mentioned freak flag.
Do your thing, A! Your example may free some other person in [state] to do her thing too, and you may start a trend! [State] may soon be the coolest place to live in the whole [country]. Or not. Maybe you’ll have single super groovy home in [state], but you’ll will be A! Nobody else can be A for you! That’s *your* job!! Kick it!