Today, I present 1960s polka-dot Formica Girl in a catfight smackdown against Medusa, the gorgon sister whose monstrous gaze turned mortal men to stone. Guess whose side I’m on? Warning: Uncharacteristic and generally-frowned-upon rant follows.
I have been looking at vacation condos in Florida recently. Everywhere you turn it’s: Granite on the countertops, bigggggg slabs o’ faux stone ceramic on the floors and backsplashes and even UP THE WALLS and not just on the bathrooms walls either. Shoot me.
All these baked surfaces are hard, cold, and they echo. The scale is usually way off. Moreover, the mass of stuff I’ve seen is just cheap crappola Applied All Over the Place. Sorry for my french and for breaking my rule about “not making anyone feel bad for their decisions.” But this mass hypnosis of the American public — which seems to go hand-in-hand with the Greige Nation — is just a crying shame. I am Very Tolerant about design choices. I really truly am. But this fixation on putting granite, faux-stone ceramic, stone and marble on every surface is Not Good. It is Not Attractive. I was not really aware of how bad it was, until I went condo shopping. Stop, America, stop!
I am a big fan of “mixing things up” when it comes to surfaces. Ceramic and/or marble and/or even some granite in the house is fine — in appropriate measures. Wood floors, cork, linoleum, VCT, carpet, rugs = Yes, there are so many choices, mix it up, have some fun! For midcentury modern and modest houses alike, laminate countertops are what’s *authentic* to the period. They usually suit the unpretentious character of the house.
Close your eyes to Medusa. Embrace Formica Girl and all her life-giving polka dot loveliness. Thanks to Formica blog for giving me permission to use their lovely photo. I’m sure they weren’t expecting this.
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My MIL gave me a subscription to the HGTV magazine and after reading the first issue cover to cover, I concluded that I had just looked at the same exact style for 60+ pages. They really do tout conformity! That’s EXCESS in their lack of diverse styles that I’m complaining about. I say we start our own network called RGTV.
And something about granite is the new keep-up-with-the-Jones item. No thanks; the Jones aren’t living in my house, but I am.
OK, here’s a funny: I put some pics on my blog about my revamped kitchen, which of course included my new Wilsonart laminate countertops, which I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE. I noticed someone had pinned one of my photos to their Pinterest page, so I bounced over to take a look. The person had added a rather derogatory remark that started with “OMG, not these countertops!”
Sometimes you have to have a thick skin when you are actively nonconforming!!! And that’s what bothers me (besides the insult): that if you don’t have granite or marble, everything else is substandard.
Thank goodness for you, Pam! This rant helps!
The Joneses went broke.
I agree. You are so correct and I hate todays style. Today’s stone look is far worse the the ’70s chunky wood look.
I am convinced that people lack the ability to think for themselves. Or should I say most people just have no sense of flavor? They all want the same thing. Neutral tile and stone.
You beat me to it, Lisa. I am struck by the lack of imagination in most contemporary renovations. And HGTV renos in particular all seem to come from the same Home Depot/Lowe’s catalog of stuff. On the real estate shows, I am constantly amazed at the number of house shoppers put off by the color of a room or the fact that there aren’t stainless steel appliances. Have they no concept of the fact that they can actually choose things to put in their homes? And I guess they think the same stove that costs twice as much in stainless as it does in white actually cooks better.
I looove formica. I’m forever with a hammer and paint can near my hand. I need formica!! and as one who likes to redecorate – often – formica is My Budget Friendly Friend. my 1961 Mid Century Modern house loves it. I’m not authentic to the period, but I Love Formica!!
I’m with you, variety in homes is what makes it a home. In a few years people will be chucking out all the ceramic tile floors and granite counter tops. I am re doing my old kitchen and have formica counters in gray,white and black speckle, white painted wood cabinets, subway tile in white with TWO black pencil lines of tiles running along in a most lovely way, brown vinyl planks for the flooring, and the original plaster ceiling painted as it was nice. Did have to redo the walls as dark paneling over broken plaster just was not cool. I do not follow the modern trends, ever. A mix of old and new is best.
Hi Pam –
According to a USA Today Article, Granite is out.
http://www.usatoday.com/life/columnist/finalword/story/2012-02-07/final-word-kitchen-remodel-craig-wilson/53001492/1
I read the article weeks ago while sitting in the doctor’s office waiting room and thought of you.
I am glad I was able to find the article on line!
Your rant reminds me of all the HGTV house hunter shows I’ve seen where the prospective buyers walk into a vintage home and look at the laminate counter tops, knotty pine paneling, and the original vintage tiles in the bathroom disparagingly and say “Oh, this has to all come out…” Only, your rant is in the reverse. THANK GAWD!
Instead of looking at condos, can’t you find a little vintage cottage to buy that’s still intact?
Stacy – while everyone at my work shops at the big chain stores (or Wal-Mart, Big Lots, depending on strata in the hierarchy of income) for furniture and decor that’s churned out with no individual personality style – I will say that they are all enthralled with what I’m doing here with my little 1961 ranch house. They LOVE seeing the furniture, textiles, and decorative accents I find to fill the house. While most of the people from my generation (baby boomer here) would never ‘go back’ to days gone by as we have with our house, they definitely can relate to the items in my house and have fond memories of the same or similar items they grew up with.
I think those of us that ensconce ourselves in this style are a very special breed, keeping the past alive. I think that’s worth a LOT.
All that to say, screw what someone commented on your pics. YOU KNOW it’s cool! ’nuff said.
You can find mid-century houses in the Phoenix area that haven’t been remuddled, but you have to be willing to look at a lot of houses. We found one in Mesa that needed some work, but hadn’t been ‘updated’.
“Embrace Formica Girl and all her life-giving polka dot loveliness.”
Hilarious!
Your “rant” is mild compared to what I have thought-shouted at HGTV. Thanks!
Me too, tt, and I’ve got quite the mouth on me. But come on already, does every single house no matter what the vintage have to look 99.9% the same?
Decorating mags and shows used to be my first choice in entertainment but the clone wars sent me to the internet where, thank the decor goddess’, I found Pam. Not to forget all her followers and contributors, people who will not, cannot, be turned into drones. Blessings upon you all.
“…does every single house no matter what the vintage have to look 99.9% the same? ”
Yes! This!!!
I cannot stand to see one more vintage kitchen ripped out in favor of granite counter tops, hardwood floors and stainless steel appliances! Besides, given the cost for these items, you are struck with them and can never afford to remodel when they go out of style. I will be happy with my laminate choices and bargain basement finds, thank you very much. At least when someone comes to visit our home there is always something new and different to look at!
Living in Central Florida, it truly is difficult to find older homes that are still “authentic” and intact with many of their original features. Granite seems to be pushed by builders, contractors and realtors. I’m not knocking it if that is what you want, but… what a pity so many of the fewer older homes are “remodeled” with granite counter tops and tile floors. It makes me sad to see that so much of the original character is taken away in favor of the “current trend”.
When we were house hunting last year I was so disgusted by all that awful brown mottled granite & it was so out of place…my phrase was, “granite is for graveyards and marble for mausoleums”.
And, btw, thank you for the info on B&W tile in SoCal…we are currently having their aqua tiles installed in our bathroom shower (sadly, the original ’54 tile had to finally be ripped out…it was in very bad condition & some tiles fell off & broke).
Which reminds me…last night I was watching “House Hunters” and these rich buyers bought the 1920s house with the major cool Art Deco green tile bathroom and wonderful archways…and, tore it all out!! As I was watching the show I was hoping that was the house they wouldn’t buy since they kept saying, “it’s ugly, we have to rip this out – we have to knock this archway out, blah, blah.” I wish people in So Cal would just try to preserve instead of making it look like something it isn’t.
A few years back I got a lot of flack from DH about our front vintage windows with the diamond panes when we had to replace the other windows…I insisted these stay put even if they barely open…I love these windows, they have character…I’m still glad I kept these intact. I was sad to see the other wooden house windows go, but they didn’t have the diamond panes & we really needed to have some windows open easily…but, I still dislike the new vinyl ones with fake pane lines. It’s hard when my DH isn’t concerned about preserving or liking vintage like I am…thank goodness, that B&W tile was only 10 min. from his work so he was able to get those fairly easily.
I don’t know where to begin. Let’s start with a confession…I have significantly altered a mid-century modern home. Not all of it in a good way. Let’s just say I am enthusiastic about my decorating. Your rant was timely for me. I am on round two of remodeling a 1955 property and am showing a lot of restraint. Your readers will be shocked to hear that we just gutted two mid-century bathrooms, but their time had come and most of the tile was chipped and cracked. They are not being replaced with granite but white countertops, white semi -gloss tile in the shower and a very subtle but cool, kinda Asian inspired tile accent wall. All very modern! The house gets additional electrical and new and improved heat so it is a win-win. Mid-century modern isn’t always restoration, sometimes it is plain old renovation but staying true to the aesthetics and principles of the mid-century modern style.
Yup!!! Sounds wonderful, Rebecca — be sure to take lots of before- and after- photos!
It’s all about the industry and selling. Most people are not designers and they know it. They head down to the big store and buy what everyone buys, then at least they feel like they made a safe decision. It seems like no one ever actually looks at it and realizes that it doesn’t work, or maybe they don’t need it. What I can’t stand is listening to people describe their purchases as if they were making real design choices – “travertine for the patio” “granite counters” et al. As if only a complete rube would do anything else. They are only parroting what a salesman at Lowes said.
That’s why I love it here in this blog, Pam! Thank you. Everyone I know thinks it’s nuts for my husband and I to tear out the granite tiles (UGH) in the kitchen and replace it with Formica.
And it will be clear in a few more years that the granite counter, stainless steel appliances and maple cabinets look will be tired and dated…Remodeled in the 2000′s?
Saddest though wa the lady we bought our 1940′s bungalow from who told us how they had to remodel the kitchen because the original owner had all pink appliances… I nearly cried.
Aren’t you sick to death of “Old World” decor? I used to work in model homes in the 90s, and 80 percent of the homes built had the same predictable granite countertops, ceramic floors, etc. I was shocked to see recently that homes are still using this fake and extremely tired heavy-handed theme. I will tell you for sure that ceramic tiles broke my feet while working in those homes, and there’s no way I’d want anything hard in my kitchen. I’ll take vinyl or wood, for comfort. There are so many WAY less expensive awesome laminates for the countertop that anyone who isn’t insecure and trying to impress the neighbors would surely opt out of granite. As for the other “Old World” touches, I like my antiques real, thank you! And I will totally mix them with retro modern whenever I feel like it too!
I was fortunate to find a fine craftsman who restored the 1954 Kelvinator cabinets in my Orlando home, down to replicating new light fixture inserts for each cabinet. It took almost a year. I wanted to play up the clean, Jetson-esque lines of the cabinets, and wanted something fresher and less cluttered than a totally faithful period look; granite countertops would have been out of character. I opted for an affordable stainless-finish mica countertop, which you’re not supposed to use for this purpose, but the results are stunning, and anything but typical. They reflect the light and let the cabinets be the stars of the show. In this case, stainless was a good choice to update yet honor the original clean, futuristic spirit of these cabinets.