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Resist the Greige Nation: Graveyard of the Atlantic

by pam kueber

I restrained myself for a whole month. But, after my recent outburst to Resist The Greige Nation, I have potent new ammo to go after this color trend a second time, namely: Pionite’s new kitchen countertop laminate, aptly named: Graveyard of the Atlantic. Do I really need to say more? Did that ever stop me?: Greige Nation = A freezing cold dark drowned death at the bottom of the sea, crabs and snails with no eyes and ghoulish sea monsters eating away at your flesh, your lifeless body sinking sinking sinking into the mushy nothingness of the earth, the weight of the salty water upon you, no proper burial possible… the light, the love, all human warmth… forever gone. *I slap myself and snap out of it.* Gray is fine, and even the color greige is fine, and I like some of the other colors in the new Pionite collection a lot. But, I just don’t think that a tsunami of greige Everywhere is what we need as a country right now, nor do I believe we are a Greige people. This is color marketing run amok amuk amuck. IMHO. Have A Nice Day. 🙂

  1. Sharon says:

    I have another pet peeve about new home designers. They all love to paint stained wood baseboard trim white. They say that stained wood trim baseboards are ugly and outdated. I personally don’t see anything wrong with stained wood trim, as long as they are in good shape. People lived with stained wood trim back in the 50’s , 60’s and 70’s and did not have a problem with it.

  2. Felicia Alexander says:

    I’m chiming in very late in this seven-year-old conversation, but Pam, your 2010 rant still rings so very true! Still so many “Death Star” house flips! Still so many cold non-color “colors,” even though greige is now being supplanted by stark, antiseptic 1960s-hospital white and dark, dark blackish espresso brown. Still “the light, the love, all human warmth… forever gone.” If not “Graveyard of the Atlantic,” still (as Annie B. suggested back in ’10) “Ad for Prozac.” Sigh.

  3. Michelle F. says:

    I just ordered a 5′ x 12′ sheet of this (from a construction company’s overstock, btw, where I got it at a discount of over 50% including shipping the sheet from NC to WI!). I can’t wait to see it. I loved the sample–although I completely see what you mean about the greige. But I LOVE it. We’re going to metal band it with curved edges, so we’ll see what happens 😉 Thank you so much for your blog–it has been invaluable as we gently renovate our 1932 bungalow!

    1. pam kueber says:

      Sounds great, Michelle! I have nothing against the color per se — it’s the current-day trend of marketeers encouraging homeowners to saturate their homes in it. I find it extremely ironic: Most people say they want lots of light in their house. But, if you put gray on everything — it sucks the light right out of the place!

  4. Edward Howard says:

    Pam,
    It took me a while to figure out what a “Greige” was – I’m a guy so what do I know about color?! But I really enjoyed that because you laid your wrath upon something such as in those design shows my wife watches. Continuing through your outpouring, I got to the part about what was best for our country and I did not know if this was a State of the Union Address or a script from a Charles Bronson movie. It was great! (that DeWalt drill in your hand is not loaded is it?)

    Ed

  5. Jacquie Y says:

    Just saw this! This 72 ranch we are in now has a full u-shape counter with a breakfast bar and it is massive…all kind of a medium gray. The lady that lived here before painted every room, cabinet, wall, nook and cranny gray…with white-ish berber carpeting everywhere but the laundry room and kitchen. (Even the master bath. (eeeeewwwwwww!!!!!) Needless to say that is gone and we put color in every room…my kitchen is a pinkish orange. It actually looks really good with the gray counter until I saw this sad, sad name of this laminate. Maybe I should squeeze some bright orange counters into the house fixer upper budget???
    Also, I’m sitting here looking at Pam and Kate’s pics, did anyone ever notice that Pam looks like a young Catherine O’Hara? Just sayin’ ( I love Catherine OHara!)

  6. Yarmouth Cindy says:

    This describes my 1952 wood kitchen well. The previous owner loves gray. The kitchen floor and laminate countertops are all this sort of gray and they painted the wood cabinets white with the original black colonial hardware. Stark. She even painted the cabinet shelves gray. At least the walls are white. I’m considering stripping and faux patinating the hardware towards pewter or verdigris, painting the interior of the cabinets a very pale blue, light blue chairs and I don’t know what for the counters. A honey wood to warm up the room and complement the hardwood in the other rooms?

  7. MaryE says:

    Pam, you hit the nail right on the head when you talked about marketers/ marketeers. That is PRECISELY what goes on in design houses everywhere. It’s not only the apparel industry that dictates what colors we will buy–home decor does it too, and it’s a big deal and big business. The old joke about whatever color being the ‘new black’ or the ‘new red’ is pretty accurate. Stoking the machine.

  8. Susan says:

    This has to be the only place (virtual or physical) that I can feel OK about hanging on to my formica (& other brands) sample chips, even a year AFTER my kitchen redo is complete. I can’t find the receipt for the trash can that’s malfunctioning, but I know where those chips are! Seems to me one of them was a deep red. I’ll check when I get home… My counters are the new red cracked ice (barsandbooths.com)–I didn’t go for subtle or super-authentic, just the one that sang to me! (Does that make the countertops mid-mod Sirens?) Good luck with your search!

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