1960s Formica Girl adToday, I present 1960s polka-dot Formica Girl in a catfight smackdown against Medusa, the gorgon sister whose monstrous gaze turned mortal men to stone. Guess whose side I’m on? Warning: Uncharacteristic and generally-frowned-upon rant follows.

Medusa by Carvaggio

I have been looking at vacation condos in Florida recently. Everywhere you turn it’s: Granite on the countertops, bigggggg slabs o’ faux stone ceramic on the floors and backsplashes and even UP THE WALLS and not just on the bathrooms walls either. Shoot me.

All these baked surfaces are hard, cold, and they echo. The scale is usually way off. Moreover, the mass of stuff I’ve seen is just cheap crappola Applied All Over the Place. Sorry for my french and for breaking my rule about “not making anyone feel bad for their decisions.” But this mass hypnosis of the American public — which seems to go hand-in-hand with the Greige Nation — is just a crying shame. I am Very Tolerant about design choices. I really truly am. But this fixation on putting granite, faux-stone ceramic, stone and marble on every surface is Not Good. It is Not Attractive. I was not really aware of how bad it was, until I went condo shopping. Stop, America, stop!

I am a big fan of “mixing things up” when it comes to surfaces. Ceramic and/or marble and/or even some granite in the house is fine — in appropriate measures. Wood floors, cork, linoleum, VCT, carpet, rugs = Yes, there are so many choices, mix it up, have some fun! For midcentury modern and modest houses alike, laminate countertops are what’s *authentic* to the period. They usually suit the unpretentious character of the house.

Close your eyes to Medusa. Embrace Formica Girl and all her life-giving polka dot loveliness. Thanks to Formica blog for giving me permission to use their lovely photo. I’m sure they weren’t expecting this.

  1. Chad D says:

    Once I learned the hard way how important it is not to insult other people’s taste. I made a snide comment about an oddly configured picture window on a Victorian rowhouse without noticing that its owner was sitting on the front step some 10 feet from me!. That said, the ranting feels good. I’m gonna go broke this year because I refused to buy anything that had been rehabbed into a McRow. Is it worth going through all this so I can have 19th Century porcelain doorknobs, 1930’s inlaid flooring, a flashy 1960’s chrome chandelier, and 1970’s esque exposed brick and beams? You bet! On top of that, I know the plumbing, electric, and insulation will be done right.

  2. Linoleummy says:

    Aaahh, home at last! Love you, Pam & all your friends! Looking at flooring last year I wondered if I was the only one who didn’t want “wood” or “stone” floors, even if I could get great fake ones. The colors and creativity possible with linoleum is where I was drawn. And now good-ol laminate for countertops! So THIS is where the other lovers of fun color hang out. Everybody come over to my house for drinks & gimme kitchen ideas!

  3. Lisa says:

    Pam, your website gave me the motivation, fortitude, and information I need to attempt a complete restoration of my MCM 1961 kitchen. I rejuvenated my Formica, uncovered some beautiful copper (?) cabinet hardware, and am in the middle of stripping down decades of paint to restore the gorgeous wood cabinets. I would like to bring the kitchen back to its original glory! The only problem I’m having is that I can’t figure out whether the kitchen floors are original (in which case they stay!) or were part of a previous remodel (in which case they go!). I suspect the latter, but I’m not positive. The floor tiles are 12×12 beige/cream/white stone that is flecked/mottled/swirled. They don’t photograph well, but here’s a close match to something I found online: http://t.homedepot.com/p/Daltile-Euro-Beige-12-in-x-12-in-Natural-Stone-Floor-and-Wall-Tile-10-sq-ft-case-L76012121U/202646786/. I think the floor is some kind of marble. Nice quality, but seems 80s looking somehow. I looked through your posts to see whether marble floor tile was prevalent in 1961. I’m not sure, but it doesn’t look like it. If not original, I think Terrazzo is in my future! I would really appreciate any thoughts on whether I should keep researching or whether the odds are that the tile is not original. Thanks for all the wonderful and inspiring info!

    1. pam kueber says:

      Hard to say especially without a photo. But I tend to think: If you have have been reading the blog for a while and are into decorating, you probably have developed a pretty good “eye” and probably are right about the tile being put in later. Question: Is there a pantry — or place under the stove — where you can chip up a piece to see what’s underneath? In any case — yes, sounds 80s ish to me, too. And remember: Be sure to renovate safe, especially as you disturb old layers of who-knows-what. Be sure to take lots of before during and after photos to send us when you are done! How exciting!!!

  4. Deborah says:

    When we bought our 53 modest 18 years ago, it was because it was cheaper than rent. It’s needed work for 18 years but we’ve never been able to afford to do much of anything to it since I have a strong aversion to borrowing against my home.

    I am actually very thankful we haven’t been able to ‘fix it up’. It’s kept me from doing anything I would regret later!

    I did last year put in a gas fired heater stove with some bonus money. My house didn’t have a fireplace and I had always wanted one. The cast iron stove was a way to do it with the least amount of structural modification. Wanting heat proof surfaces, I did have a small slab of marble put on the floor. (salvaged from a marble dining table bought for 99 cents!) And here’s a true confession: Lowes had pink marble tile for dirt cheap and it matched my pink livingroom. That provided more heat proofing on the walls behind the stove. I put Shanko tin on the upper part of the wall.

    No more marble! Honest! I have plans for knotty pine to fix walls with damaged plaster and VCT tiles in kitchen and bathrooms

    I will likely replaced my badly damaged Formica in the kitchen with one of the fun laminates I’ve seen here.

    Glad I found RR before I made any major mistakes!

  5. Midge says:

    We recently bought a 1961 (with a 1979 addition )home on a GORGEOUS granite boulder lot. When my sister came over, she looked at dismay at the original aqua/ gold flecked counter tops, she suggested that we replace them with granite -My answer was “I’m sittin’ on 1.16 acres of GRANITE- Why would why I want it INSIDE???

  6. Karen says:

    God, reading this, I feel like I have found “my people.” Two years ago, I went home hunting. Everywhere had the same granite greige counters and maroon crap. Don’t get me wrong — I like maroon — clothes. They look great with my skin tone. in the winter. Not for my home, though!

    However, the greige nation’s fixation was my gain. I found a cool two bedroom apartment built in 1965 that kept getting passed over because — you guessed it — it had the original lemon yellow cooktop and wall in over, gold fleck Formica kitchen counters and original tile and shower doors in both bathrooms. The greige nation’s stupidity has been my gain!

    My own rant is towards Dwell magazine. Is there anybody out there besides me who finds it incredibly boring? Somehow, I ended up with a year’s subscription to it (I think that a well meaning friend gifted it to me) and I have never found it the least bit interesting. I find myself flipping through it quickly, basically to get it over with, searching for the one piece that I will find that is remotely tied to what I love about mid mod design, “Oh look, a fiberglass Eames chair, but it is off white in a room of charcoal and dark brown” and not seeing one more thing that remotely speaks to me.

    Thank God for Retro Renovation!

    1. pam kueber says:

      I was looking at real estate listings in St. Petersburg, Fla. this weekend. Oh my gosh, it was HORRIBLE what was going on in 99.9% of the new listings. The American people are not getting good design advice today.

  7. amber says:

    I haven’t even bought the house yet but this appeased my guilt about ripping out new granite. 1958 lakehouse____ extensively remodeled unfortunately but thank goodness the original sun porch crank windows are there.

  8. Linda says:

    RIGHT ON, Pam! You rant, baby! Heck, yeah, I’ll rant with ya! Stop the madness NOW!

    I’m house hunting as well. When I calculate the astronimical price it costs just to have this crap REMOVED, I sadly have to pass on some otherwise great, older homes.

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