A friendly reminder that one of our key rules of commenting here is: No one can be made to feel bad for their choices. Not when it comes to decorating, at least.
99.95% of all the comments on Retro Renovation are wonderful — our community is awesome! But, I was prompted to repeat this occasional reminder — (and there’s a new twist, keep reading) — because there were a few comments lately that I had to delete altogether, or to edit because of the use of unkind words such as h******, u***, h*** and d****.
In a new twist, I have also begun to notice more frequent comments — almost always from first-time commenters — that are either raving about a product or more likely, expressing complaint. Some of these have smelled funny. Since these kinds of comments can be prone to fraud, please know that from now on, I will likely not approve them unless they come from longtime, known commenters (Note, I also try, in the cases of complaints, to give the company the opportunity to respond.)
This blog is a happy creation. The aim is to be supportive. Respectful. Whatever you put your energy toward — grows. So, continuing and with even more decisive rigor moving forward, I will likely delete such comments tout suit, in order to conserve and keep the positive energy radiating. Read the Terms of Use for other various usage requirements of this blog. Thank you for your understanding and continuing, super-constructive support. xoxo, pam. Image above: Original collage by the famous Anne Taintor herself — see more here.
Andi says
I echo the comments before mine…the upbeat tone of the RetroRenovation community is key in allowing all of us to learn and enjoy new (or ‘new old’) things.
Keeping it positive reminds everyone to “think before you speak,” and that’s always a good idea. (Another thing Mom used to say!)
The voyeur—and house junkie—in me loves House Hunters, but I want to go through the TV screen when a 20-something whines, “I just can’t live with this kitchen, there’s no granite or stainless.”
When we bought our 1952 Cape Cod, our realtor said, while standing in our pretty pink bathroom—which was in perfect condition—“Well, you can gut this and re-do it.” Ditto on the turquoise bathroom and the original turquoise-Formica kitchen countertops! She was astounded when we said that those things were the reasons we wanted the house!
I have given that realtor (and others since then) printouts of the RR home page so they can try to educate their clients to “love the house they’re in.”
The atmosphere created and maintained by Pam and Kate welcomes appreciation for the world of mid-century living, not just the high-end or designer stuff. While I’ve always liked 50s styles and colors, I have gleaned a new appreciation for other styles and periods.
Last week we visited an open house (always fun for a house voyeur) with brilliant orange Formica countertops and dark 1970s Mediterranean cabinets….and I actually kinda liked it! It went beautifully with the adjacent powder room and its avocado green fixtures. A few years ago I could not have appreciated that particular retro style, but I do now, thanks to RR!
Keep up the good work, ladies!!
Geronimom says
I have to agree – I look forward each morning to sitting down with my cup of coffee, opening the laptop and seeing what all Pam et al have to offer up that day for my enjoyment. Knowing I won’t be treated to any negativity or nastiness here and that I’m in a group of like-minded individuals who share my interests makes for such a pleasant way to ease myself into the day! Thanks for the reminder, Pam – and for keeping this site an oasis of retro cheeriness!
Jenny A. says
Thank you for this reminder! This is one of the many things that makes this blog special. Usually everyone on here is very supportive of one another which is nice. I go to certain other large well-known decorating sites and the commenters are not only rude, but sometimes downright mean. The anonymity of the internet has removed a filter for some folks which is very unfortunate. They write things in comments that they would never dream of saying to someone’s face. I still live by the rules my mother instilled in me including ‘if you can’t say something nice, then don’t say anything at all’. That doesn’t mean we have to love everything we see but we should always employ a little tact.
Leslie says
Pam/Kate,
It’s nice to be able to visit a community. A place of mutual respect in this crazy world….love your website! Thank you.
Allen says
Thanks for making this a great place to come!
Wendy M. says
Thank you so much for continuing to take a firm stand when it comes to negative comments! It’s so refreshing to “drop by” every morning knowing it will be positive and upbeat. (I had to end my participation in another mid-century group because they had clearly never heard the phrase, “If you can’t say something nice…”)
Oh, and this is off the subject, but thanks for the info on testing exhaust fans! I did the toilet tissue test and realized our downstairs fan wasn’t working- a thorough cleaning and some tightening and it’s working fine now.
pam kueber says
Woot for the toilet paper test!
Kate says
Yay! 🙂
Nancy B says
As a long time contributor I think this happy reminder is a great idea!! You have totally summed up what this blog is about! No matter how many positive comments you may receive on a post, it is the negative (or I liked the before better) that you keep coming back to! This is about individual tastes, ideas, and growing= let it happen in a positive way!! Like my mother always said, “If you can’t say something nice, say noting at all”.
jay says
Pam, thanks for keeping the internet zombies at bay and maintaining that high standard of friendliness and respect.
David says
I’m glad your blog is a positive, constructive place, and I appreciate all the effort you put into keeping it so.
But now I’m straining my brain to figure out what h******, u*** and d**** are. 🙂
Mary Elizabeth says
I think u*** is the four-letter word for the opposite of beautiful, and h****** is an adjective used to describe monsters from which you need to “hide,” ending in “ous.” Haven’t figured out the other one. I am always curious why most of my comments go through right away and others come up with the message “your comment is awaiting moderation.” I think Pam has some kind of filter that screens messages for specific words and puts them on her radar.
Anyway, we owe Pam and Kate a lot for the awesome work they put into keeping us all connected and positive in our efforts to research, reproduce and honor mid-century design. If you want negativity about part of the mid-century, read James Lileks, _Interior Desecrations_ about home decor in the 1970s.
jay says
Think of the d word that is used by prospective home buyers on that house hunting show when they walk into the kitchen and/or bath and say it’s so d****, just like granma’s house.
Speaking of which, I wish people would stop suggesting that this site marry up with that network – so incompatible.
pam kueber says
Yes, if you think it through (which I have), HGTV — and television in general — is all about selling selling selling. About dis-satisfying folks with what they have so that they rip it out and run to advertisers’ stores to replace it. Which, yes, is just about as polar opposite of what this site is about as it can possibly get.
Steve H says
Amen to that, and may I add that being a regular reader here has had a positive influence on my consumer habits in general. I’m more critical about what I buy, more likely to repair rather than replace, and less likely to be seduced by the new.
MCM is Grand says
Yes, I completely agree! This happened to me as well. 🙂
I look forward each morning to this blog. I learn something new every time, and appreciate the cordial and enthusiastic tone of the comments and the hosts. 🙂
Laura's Last Ditch--Vintage Kitchenwares says
Just want to say, great comment! Pam’s idea of living with things for a while before making changes is something I wish I had done. I’m still regretting the stove we bought 11 years ago and wish we had kept the electric stove that was in the kitchen when we moved in. Our new stove is now rusty, pitted, worn on the electronic control panel, and stops at inopportune times during baking, while the 1960s electric stove would probably still look and run great. I wish I knew then what I know now!
Lindel Salow says
Yes I agree too! I wish this I knew about this website when we were redoing our 1941 Duplex back in 2004. We did everything we could to put the house back to the way it looked when it was built but I know we made several mistakes……took out the casement windows and replaced with double hung…polyurethaned the wood floors…had new retro cabinets made rather than looking for period ones to re-use. But we didn’t know, and since then have learned a boatload from Pam and the website. We regularly docent for home tours in several vintage neighborhoods and actively recommend this website to anyone we encounter with a vintage home. Keep up the awesome work Pam. Thanks.
Mollye says
When my parents downsized and sold their 1975 architect built house that they had lived in since 1978, the real estate agent gave them a big list of things that needed to be “updated”. Luckily they did not listen and kept the original kitchen, bathrooms, and funky light fixtures. At closing the buyer told me how thrilled she was with the original details and had always wanted a contemporary 70s house.
Anastasia says
BIGGEST thing I’ve noticed is (& the round house you’ve posted about recently proves this well) is that we’ve come to associate old with dirty & unkept & even flat out gross. If takes a DIFFERENT KIND OF PERSON to see under all the decades of buildup & wear to see that there really is NOTHING WRONG sometimes. And in the case of that lavender loo, absolutely fabulous! Most of the folks here are VERY open minded & it shows. Those few that either need to be tended or weeded usually show up so starkly against the architecture of this special place Pam. WE GET IT! Those trolls can go back under their bridges. & those companies that make money off selling new will never change. To each his own.
Teresa says
I’ve stopped watching those shows. Thanks to sites like yours, Pam, and the entire re/up cycle movement I finally realized that every designers solution was a total gut. I’ve watched horrified as vintage wood cabinets are unceremoniously sledge hammered into splinters, and classic fixtures thrown out into dumpsters. Not good for the environment, not good for our sense of connection with the past, and it betrays our home’s original design sensibility.
On the other hand… there are some big design misses in the past that should be eradicated… like carpeted bathrooms from the 80s!
SusanD says
Indeed! And carpeted kitchens as well. I had both when we moved into our last house in 1979 and quickly replaced them with tile – the carpet was not a good combination with two small boys. As to Pam’s timely reminder, thank you for keeping the site civil and pleasure to read. This is the only site where I actually look forward to reading the comments and often learn as much from them as I do from the original posts.
Robin, NV says
I have to agree with the carpeted kitchen thing. The carpeting in my kitchen has been #1 on my remodel list for a long time. Even though it’s indoor/outdoor carpet, it just doesn’t handle spills well and I don’t care for the look (not to mention they installed it around appliances but not under so it’s fraying at the edges here and there). BUT – the original owners liked it as did (do?) many others (including my grandmother). It has the benefit of being warm on your feet and you can just run the vacuum over it.
Robin, NV says
The “d” word is a deragatory term for “old.”
This is the best little community on the internet, mostly due to Pam’s diligence in keeping things civil. The period we all love was exuberant, cheerful, optimistic, and colorful – let’s keep it that way!
pam kueber says
I remembered and just added another word to the story: h***. The opposite of love. That one comes up a fair amount also. Nix.
Roundhouse Sarah says
Haha! I just went to interior desecration’s website.
“It took the 70s to convince everyone to stick foil wallpaper on the wall, paint the bathtub purple, smother the floors in shag so deep it tickled the tops of your ankles, and hang art that managed to clash with everything, including itself.”
Uh-oh sounds like they were at my house when they wrote this sentence!
pam kueber says
ugh
Robin, NV says
What’s the saying? “Everything old is new again”? In time, retro h****s will be eating their words.
Hmm, I’m wondering, in light of today’s topic, if we should be more considerate of the folks who update their kitchens in the granite/cherry/stainless trifecta. As Pam often says, no one wants to their home to be u**y. Perhaps instead of poking fun at them, we should focus on what makes us happy and let them be happy with their choices too.
Sandy says
Yes! Another version of treating others as you would like to be treated. I’ve never regretted this plan. Not once.
Karen says
Yes, some of us have been through the “gutting” stage before realizing it’s not the best way to treat our little mid-century gems. So please don’t be too hard on those of us who didn’t figure out what our style really was until after the granite went in. (At least there wasn’t much that was original in my kitchen.)
pam kueber says
Yes, perhaps best to let them be. Focus on ourselves and our journey, not theirs. Hence, this is why I simply chose not to watch those shows any more. Avoid what agitates you… find and focus on what makes you happy.
pam kueber says
d**** equals “dated”. I have no idea why your comments are going into moderation. I have moderation set for (1) first-time commenters, which catches a lot of spam, and (2) a few bad words, but other than that, if you have commented once, it should then come through. wordpress poltergeists — that is who i guess we’ll blame!
Christine says
I love Lileks snark, and don’t see it as negative.
But I also appreciate 1970s decor, have an unhealthy love of funky disco trumpets and wish I could still find outfits like Rhoda wore on MTM!
You better believe I’d wear them. And I’d look groovy too :o)
Cynthia says
I also like Lileks’ snark; his site and Pam’s are meant for different purposes and reasons. I like both of them, each in their own way. Lileks actually has tremendous appreciation for classic mid-century design in homes and commercial buildings, but not the “improvement” trends of the last quarter of the 20th century which often covered and removed those mid-century features. Who am I to condemn his personal choices, taste and opinion, expressed on his own website? Sometimes I agree, sometimes not. Yet, I do confess that when hearing the buyers’ taste and design choices expressed with the d-word so often on hgtv about a retro-era kitchen or bathroom that could look fab (in my opinion) with cleaning, refinishing, painting and restoration (and a few modern twists to add functionality) I do want to scream a little!
BungalowBILL says
Thank you for keeping the structure so that everyone feels welcome. We can learn so much from others, but we can learn nothing if people feel intimidated to show off what they love in fear of being mocked.