Here is a good one to end the week: Reader “A” (I cloaked her name and state) wrote recently to ask for help in responding to what she called “social backlash” — negative reactions from people in her social sphere who can’t comprehend her passion for mid century design. What shall we advise her, fellow Retro Renovators? Read on for her tale….
“A” writes”
Pam,
I’m new to your blog, and I absolutely love it, but if I’m asking something you have touched on a million times I apologize. I made an attempt to search, but came up with nothing.
I’m at a bit of a low point right now, and I’d love some reassurance or commiseration of any sort — or hey– even a reality check!
I’m just starting down the road into retroville– truthfully I’ve loved it all for a long time but wasn’t brave enough to really commit until I lived in California and realized there were a lot of people who loved the mid 20th century as much as I did.
I have recently moved back to my hometown area in [state] and have begun searching for a mid century modern home to buy with my husband and kids, and along the way I am thrifting and searching for “old” furniture from the same time period.
My question to you is, do you ever get bogged down by people’s negative reaction to what you are doing or did? And secondly, was it all worth it in the end?
I love my midcentury things, but I am swiftly becoming tired of having to defend my taste to everyone I come in contact with. My husband is sweet and patient with me, but I think he wishes I’d give it up. My kids are nervous about “living in the 60’s” as they put it, and everyone else falls somewhere between thinking I’m crazy to acting genuinely threatened and angry with me for trying to resurrect the past.
I’m honestly shocked, why are people threatened by different design tastes? Have you ever had these types of experiences?
I keep telling myself that when it all comes together it will be so great and it will be all worth it, but sometimes I feel like it would be easier to give it all up.
Isn’t it strange how strongly people react to retro things?
Thanks at the very least for letting me sob on your cyber shoulder, its nice to come here and be with people with like minds.
“A”
“A”, my first thought, when I read your letter, was that I’d tell these rude people, Bite Me. Hence, the always-but-really-probably-never-appropriate Anne Taintor caption. (Better, I think, to take the high road… much as it would feel good [for a moment] to dish it right back.)
Seriously, I do have a way that I would recommend responding. But I will hold back and let the tribe offer up their thoughts and advice first.
Lesley says
I grew up in Louisiana where people proudly furnish their homes with “antiques”. Meaning antiques from 1800’s and early 1900’s. Isn’t that a different era of retro? We just happen to enjoy a different period.
char says
I love this thread and have to respond. Who cares? Most people have awful taste, it has nothing to do with money. I was born in 1955 and grew up in a mid century modern and my mom had the house professionally decorated with all the knoll, eames, bertoia classic pieces, so that just feels like home to me. I went to art school and am very opinionated about art and decorating your house is an art. My family vacationed at fabulous Miami Beach and Las Vegas strip classic hotels. A couple of years ago I moved back to Florida and had an opportunity to decorate from scratch, and I mix mid century w/ ultra modern. I love all kinds of styles, I love art deco, 80’s Memphis and i love color, the bolder the better. I think the perfect house would be white 30s Bauhaus with glass brick and lots of color inside! (Too expensive). And I love kitsch. I hate brown and beige. I collect things my Mom gave away when I left home, it’s so fun to find these pieces again! One day I will buy that fuscia womb chair and the 1947 nels risom amoeba table she gave me that I left in a rental house. My sister won’t give me that salmon Drexel chinesoise etagere! I use the latest in technology to watch and listen to the great films and music of the 20th Century. I know I’m cool, so who cares!
Thomas says
If someone hates my decor, they probably aren’t too fond of me, either…and the feeling tends to be mutual 🙂 Frankly, my house and my decor choices are for ME! I am the ONLY one who has to like my stuff…and I do. As for other people’s decor that is not my style, I politely tell them it is lovely….and leave off the “It’s not my style” part. I don’t like to hear that myself, so I don’t say it to others…..
Trish Larson says
As a psychologist and MCM lover I can give free advice on anyone who criticizes you or anything you adore that you are not harmful to yourself or others: It’s about THEM and not you. If people are negative and not open minded, don’t fret, it’s their fear of something different which you have absolutely no control over.
pam kueber says
🙂
Well, golly, I feel like I just got a lot of good, free, professional advice! Thank you!
Gail Faulkner says
Only one member of my family and one friend share my love of Retro decorating. Some friends say nothing (but I know what they think), some shake their head and some have let me know what they think. My son hates an awesome shadow box mirror my sister gave me. It is ok. I don’t care. Part of who I am is what I like so if you are my friend you accept me knowing we have different tastes. Some things my friends have and like I don’t but does not change us being friends. If it did, I would have to reconsider a friendship. Even though my friends don’t care for it I still drool when I spot something retro and don’t give a flying rip when they roll their eyes. I love it! I love it! And their opinion can’t change that. So embrace your love of the greats from the past! Go forth and snag that awesome lamp or to die for chair!
Jean says
I simply say my house is from a style period, just like an Antique Saltbox or a Federal Colonial. The style period is more current, that’s all. People clamor over the reproduction pieces that make a new colonial look vaguely like the real thing. The things in my house ARE the real thing and can’t be replaced easily or perhaps at all!
Mary H. says
I am 31 and I have been fascinated with any and everything to do with the 50’s and 60’s since I was in the 3rd grade! When I was a kid I friended an elderly neighbor who’s home was like stepping into a 1960’s time capsule with the avocado green shag carpet, hanging lamps and sunburst clocks. I would go to auctions with my mom and while everyone else was bidding on Victorian era antiques, there was this 9yr old girl bidding on retro decor and furniture! To this day I love anything from that era and it makes me sad when I see home renovations where they have ripped out steel kitchen cabinets and pink tile bathrooms to replace them with granite countertops and sheet rock. I am currently restoring my home to look as it did when it was built in 1964 and it has been a blast! I highly recommend anyone who loves MCM/time capsule homes to visit Palm Springs, CA- I went last year and let me tell ya, it’s like Disneyland for people like us! I’ve had people step into my house and the look on their face is hilarious- one friend said “Oh my God- I feel like I am in The Jetson’s house!” Lol. Having said all of that, you like what you like and shouldn’t care what other people think:)
jayne says
Well, that says something about your friends’ taste, doesn’t it? I’m sitting in a great midmod kitchen and couldn’t care less what my family and friends think of it. I know what’s cool.
Googie Greg says
I experienced the same treatment when I grew a beard. I too was shocked at the reaction and rudeness of some people. Some comments were hurtful, and I was left stunned at the lack of filter in telling me what they thought. I think what I came away with is applicable to your situation as well.
My theory is that those who know you well enough to make such statements feel threatened by your disturbance of their perception of you. There is some level of comfort or confidence they have in their relationship with you, and because their perception of you has been changed due to learning your tastes fall outside of their defined status quo, they are made to feel very uncomfortable or threatened. That is still no excuse for rude comments, but a plausible explanation.
The way I handled it was to show grace and mercy to those I love, joke it off or offer the fact that I like it, but continue to take joy and pleasure in pursuing my interests (growing a beard, retro treasures, etc.). Those who don’t know you well enough yet still make such statements should be cordially invited to bite you, as was suggested by Pam.
John K says
Whoa! I’ve got to say that Mid Century is NOT all Eichler type slick ranches with minimalist decor. It is also IN NO WAY paintings of Elvis Presley on black velvet in every living room, boomerang patterns everywhere (except maybe at the local diner or drive-in theatre snack bar) or pink plastic flamingos on the front lawn (Good grief Charlie Brown, I can only remember one house I saw in the 1960s with flamingos on the front lawn). There was yet another Mid century house style in the 1960s that I call Mid century modern meets Early American. It was tasteful and cozy. My house was built in 1963 and it is a three bedroom suburban split level with cedar shakes exterior and overall exterior styling of Mid Century modern meets Early American (very popular exterior style in the 1960s). The interior has the original modern black wrought iron scroll railing (which I love) separating the dining room level from the living room level and the bathrooms are both 1963 modern but the kitchen was originally a cozy Early American design. It had a modern coppertone built in wall oven and counter top range but it also had dark wood cabinetry with Early American hammered copper drawer and cabinet pulls, a hammered copper range hood, a copper pull down light fixture and wooden window shutters with copper hardware and spring yellow cafe curtains. It was not a slick Mid century modern kitchen nor was it funky boomerang-ed at all. I am in the process of a 2 year long restoration of the cabinets and copper hardware, window shutters and flooring and I intend to restore it back to the original way it was designed and built in 1963 by Kaplan Architects (I am lucky to have the original sales brochure and photos). So although the house was built in 1963 and has a few features of Mid Mod it also has at least that many features that are more cozy and Early American. I could never live in a slick, minimalist Philip Johnson type house. Nor could my eyes tolerate the other extreme being boomerangs and pink flamingos but I am in love with Mid Century modern meets early American and that is my 1963 house.