Here is a good one to end the week: Reader “A” (I cloaked her name and state) wrote recently to ask for help in responding to what she called “social backlash” — negative reactions from people in her social sphere who can’t comprehend her passion for mid century design. What shall we advise her, fellow Retro Renovators? Read on for her tale….
“A” writes”
Pam,
I’m new to your blog, and I absolutely love it, but if I’m asking something you have touched on a million times I apologize. I made an attempt to search, but came up with nothing.
I’m at a bit of a low point right now, and I’d love some reassurance or commiseration of any sort — or hey– even a reality check!
I’m just starting down the road into retroville– truthfully I’ve loved it all for a long time but wasn’t brave enough to really commit until I lived in California and realized there were a lot of people who loved the mid 20th century as much as I did.
I have recently moved back to my hometown area in [state] and have begun searching for a mid century modern home to buy with my husband and kids, and along the way I am thrifting and searching for “old” furniture from the same time period.
My question to you is, do you ever get bogged down by people’s negative reaction to what you are doing or did? And secondly, was it all worth it in the end?
I love my midcentury things, but I am swiftly becoming tired of having to defend my taste to everyone I come in contact with. My husband is sweet and patient with me, but I think he wishes I’d give it up. My kids are nervous about “living in the 60’s” as they put it, and everyone else falls somewhere between thinking I’m crazy to acting genuinely threatened and angry with me for trying to resurrect the past.
I’m honestly shocked, why are people threatened by different design tastes? Have you ever had these types of experiences?
I keep telling myself that when it all comes together it will be so great and it will be all worth it, but sometimes I feel like it would be easier to give it all up.
Isn’t it strange how strongly people react to retro things?
Thanks at the very least for letting me sob on your cyber shoulder, its nice to come here and be with people with like minds.
“A”
“A”, my first thought, when I read your letter, was that I’d tell these rude people, Bite Me. Hence, the always-but-really-probably-never-appropriate Anne Taintor caption. (Better, I think, to take the high road… much as it would feel good [for a moment] to dish it right back.)
Seriously, I do have a way that I would recommend responding. But I will hold back and let the tribe offer up their thoughts and advice first.
carolyn says
Did anyone catch the Yahoo article about actor Joseph Gordon- Leavitt and his pristine 1940’s house purchase? Most comments were positive (I think the rest were either trolls or ___ – fill in the blank with something appropriately derogatory relating to mental capacities.)
My husband is OK with what I want to do especially since he’s got collections of Indian, Marilyn, Betty, and The Duke which would all fit right in. His definition of a house is a place to store your $_it in so I gladly took over the decorating.
He takes appliances in for repairs for a home improvement chain and the shops all tell him to find appliances from the 1990’s or earlier because the new stuff either doesn’t work right in the first place or breaks down way too often.
Many people think MCM is tacky, old junk, or creepy. I think it’s comfortable, useful, and cool.
I’m right.
Danielle from CO says
Love the statement- I’m right! Makes me wanna say, so neiner neiner!!
Ed Murchison says
Unfortunately, we live in a follow the leader society. Most people have no sense of personal style or they are afraid to express themselves. They want to be told what they should like….Rooms to Go anyone???
Jay-Are Garcia says
I feel this post. Its great advice . I am getting the same from people when looking for renovations here in the midwest. My old place in california this is not such an issue. Im getting flooring companies asking why I would want to pull out click n lock flooring in my kitchen and the carpet in my dining room ripped up and replaced with VCT flooring. It to my eyes and esthetics looks better esp. with my Saarinen table and late 50s credenza. Also an issue trying to get my fireplace redone with people who would use roman brick or cinderblock style as seen in some Eichlers. I guess the world wants everyone to have the newest and greatest that outdates every century instead of the timeless classic looks from the 50’s and 60’s that never goes out of style. And don’t get me started on but it will hurt the resale value. Heck I don’t plan on moving right away and I want to enjoy my house for me now and not live in what someone else might want to if I were to move.(extremely long run on sentence) Let your freak flag fly. No one stands out when they blend with the flock.
VermeerHouse says
Every house we’ve owned speaks to me. Its architecture, its location, its occupants. As our family grows and changes, that is reflected in our home. We currently live in a 60’s brick split level-ranch in a small town near a mountain lake with a beach. We are updating baths and kitchen to be safe & efficient, while reflecting the 60’s era. We are not purists but we are delighted when we find light fixtures, furniture, & accents that speak to that era and the mountain lake beach vibe. We don’t try to recreate the past, just respect its clean simplicity with some lucky finds. Create what you love to live in with no apologies.
Jane says
I was going to post my own thoughts on this subject but VermeerHouse sums it up so nicely!
We are the 3rd family to live in our sweet, compact 1959 ranch. It is not a time capsule and some changes have been made – nothing that has really compromised the integrity of the house. (It is beautifully built).
It IS our home and we want it to be comfortable and we believe that’s it’s OK to make changes to suit the our tastes and needs. It is a home that has obviously been loved – and we continue in that tradition!
Elizabeth says
I guess sincer enthusiasm has disarmed most of our friends. Like stated earlier, I gush over my pink and grey bathroom with Hollywood regency style cabinets and over the amazing quality of post war homes.
I reluctantly moved into my midcentury modest and because of my found tribe have grown increasingly proud and educated.
Because of this site I had resources when repairing my 1953 en suite. Our friend was like, aren’t you going to gut it? I replied, “oh no, I want our bathroom as period as possible.” And then waited 2weeks for custom moonbeam yellow 4×4 tiles to be made and shipped.
Be proud of you tastes and welcome to the tribe;)
WillG63 says
I find the best way to deal with negativity about any personal choices in life is to just use the opportunity to express your extreme enthusiasm. Basically you let the comment roll off you like water off a duck’s back and then wax on with something like: ” OHMY GOD! Are you kidding ! I just LOVE MCM ……” And then elaborate why. no need to mention your feelings toward other choices. In return for their negativity put forth such an avalanche of enthusiasm that it will short circuit their thought process on the subject. Never mention that it is your house, your life and your choice….NOT doing so tells them that you already think it is so obvious that it is not necessary. This is actually not something I even need to strategize about because I have no doubts or second thoughts
Danika says
ok sorry…. but one more comment 😛
I’ve also noticed that colour preferences change in accordance with how people use their homes. I am a full-time mom and work from home – I NEED colour!!! However, my step-Mom-in-law works full-time away from home and prefers sleepy earth tones in their house, she needs to relax at the end of the day. Could it be that change in culture over the century played into colour trends? Perhaps. Homeowner’s personal tastes will vary one from another because our lifestyles and needs are different. So do be confident in your choices when they suit your life!
pam kueber says
I definitely think that some people seek colorful stimulation from within their homes — others, respite.
Marilyn says
I love retro… And never try to explain it…. We are all so different… And as someone said in an earlier post… Most people gave a herd mentality…or gotta fit in… I never did relly care for either. If someone doesn’t know me they might be brave enough to say something…. I do believe most know better than to question how I decorate… They don’t live in my house… Lol
Danika says
…and when it comes to what to say I just grin and go along with their “crazy” statement. I just admit that I prefer colour and quality! I relate that most of what people “up-date” with from the big box stores can’t compete in the quality department. People seem to change their tune as they relate to the pragmatism.
Danika says
I would take comfort in knowing that the wave of trend has started to roll and in short order everyone will “get” mid-century! Here on the coast mi-mod has been in for a long, long time and people are starting to enjoy ’70;s and ’80’s style. The granite and dark cupboards are already tired here. You also don’t get a penny back on your renos in our very expensive city.
We are moving in land and starting to hear what many of you do in terms of negativity. Which isn’t all bad because the older homes are up to 50k less than “up-dated” homes out where we are moving to (not to mention the loc change means we get a four bed house for the price of our condo). At this point though I know it’s only a matter of time before the style trends spread.
I find the most helpful thing for me to do is not get too project happy and simplify. When I have too many projects on the go (half done bits here and there etc.) it’s too easy for others to see “old” instead of a style vision. I have young kids so I can only tackle so much at one time. When I practice patience and keep our possessions well edited others can “see” better.
pam kueber says
Hi Danika, welcome out of lurking! I thing you have made an excellent point about “not get too project happy and simplify. When I have too many projects on the go (half done bits here and there etc.) it’s too easy for others to see “old” instead of a style vision.”