Precautionary Pam’s tale of tiki decorating woe

Update: This got lost somehow. Now it’s found!

Thanks to everyone for sending well wishes and funny captions Pam’s way — it is really helping her stay positive. Now, as promised — the tale of tiki-decorating woe. Instead of just spelling out the catastrophic circumstances that led to her broken arm, I thought it would be more fun to write some precautionary prose. Enjoy.

‘Twas last Saturday when all through the living room
Pam scattered barkcloth samples, unaware of her impending doom

She was planning the pinch pleats for her tiki retreat
and she just wasn’t thinking about what was under her feet

Instead of heeding her own safety advice
She didn’t use a ladder, the end table would suffice

Up and down on the Baker cabinet Pam repeatedly stepped
Draping barkcloth samples over the traverse rod while Astro soundly slept

Then she’d stand back a ways to consider the pattern
And just then she remembered her spaghetti lamp lanterns

So she dashed to the basement to retrieve them from her hoard
And placed them near the window to make a real life mood board

There were a few more barkcloth samples she wanted to test
So she stepped back up on the table to try and see which looked best

Then as she stepped down, she took a terrible fall
Turns out, those acrylic lights are like stepping on bowling balls

As she flew through the air, she stuck out her arm
Trying to make sure no vintage goodies came to any harm

Then with a crash, Pam landed, and let out a yell
Making Astro run away like a bat out of hell

Pam’s fall gave her a really bad scare
while the vintage spaghetti lamp globes were no worse for the wear

Her arm and wrist ended up being shattered in at least five spots
Could it have been worse? Pam thinks — lots!

Now unable to type or do daily basic chores
She reminds us being safe isn’t something to ignore

With the tiki bar on hold and Kate handling the blog
Pam has to listen to Astro — the “I told you so” dog

It may be months before her arm is right as rain
but Pam’s learned her lesson, she won’t forget the ladder again

Mega thanks to all the readers who submitted funny captions for our impromptu pity party contest so far.  Above, one of the submitted captions that’s on our short list of favorites so far is from reader Robin – who made me giggle out loud with the clever caption above. We are still accepting captions, so keep ‘em coming.