A pause to discuss my sometimes bothersome journeys down a rabbit hole that I will call retro research monomania. And to politely inquire, if you don’t mind sharing: Do you suffer this occasional obsession, too, as you try to get a retro design project done?
Right up front, I want to underscore that this is a serious post, no a ha ha I am making fun of myself post. I am not making fun, at all, of manias of any nature and especially, of a more serious nature. For example, I already know that I have perfectionistic, obsession-compulsion type tendencies that I need to manage to live in a well-balanced way. In one sense, these combinations of qualities have helps make me a pretty-able restorer of my midcentury home, as I can search search search search, intensely and tenaciously, for the just-right solution to whatever I’m looking for. The whole situation also has led to this website: I transformed my researching intensity into something positive — by sharing out what I find.
All that said: There are times when my brain becomes absolutely consumed with learning about a new topic… or hunting down particular products… that, well… I know that any strength, when taken too far, can become a weakness.
I came across the word ‘hypomania’ in something I read, and at first, I thought that’s how I’d describe my retro-research-obsession-tendencies. But then, I kept going and found the ‘monomania’ instead.
Wikipedia defines monomania as:
- In 19th-century psychiatry, monomania (from Greek monos, one, and mania, meaning “madness” or “frenzy”) was a form of partial insanity conceived as single pathological preoccupation in an otherwise sound mind … and
- Honoré de Balzac describes monomania in Eugénie Grandet:
As if to illustrate an observation which applies equally to misers, ambitious men, and others whose lives are controlled by any dominant idea, his affections had fastened upon one special symbol of his passion. The sight of gold, the possession of gold, had become a monomania.
Yes, I’ll go out on a limb and say I have “an otherwise sound mind.” But, that when I get goin’, my brain can get Gorilla-glued to a single topic/project/interest. I dive in. Deep. I devour. For how long? Days, or even weeks, until I get my answer — or until, I’m flat-out brain-tired.
Then, there’s a recharge period. Often, it’s months. If I’ve just done a big project, I’m like: NO MORE for a while, everything in this house is FINE as it is!
But eventually, some absolutely tantalizing topic or idea gets my attention again, and I dive back in.
At this moment, I am fairly monomaniacally-possessed about pulling together all the details for my Mahalo Lounge. I have collected some 100 fabric samples to decide upholstery for the sectional. My eyeballs have just about bugged out looking — online and then, via samples sent to me — at oranges, greens and animal prints — in weaves, chenilles and velvets — from various manufacturers daily for … what? … four weeks? Stories to come: Which should I choose?
Now that the pile of upholstery samples is in place and awaiting a final decision, I am beginning to switch my superpowered attention to searching craigslist and ebay and etsy for — what? — two hours? — every day looking for vintage bars and bar stools. This includes: where do I really want to put the bar; based on that, what design do I want; how about the stools; what color to go with the drapes and sectional.
I design ‘in layers.’ One decision gets made — then I move to the next. Still to come: Carpet or area rugs for the room; the decision on just how we’ll faux bois all the woodwork in the two rooms; choosing lauhala mat for the ceilings; get stuff up on the walls; the lighting plan. The lighting plan! That is going. to. vex. me. the. most. I am feeling maniacal — and a bit weary — just writing this list.
At other times since you’ve known me, I’ve also been monomaniacal about:
- Vintage Christmas ornaments (for wreaths)
- Vintage dollhouses and dollhouse furniture
- Vintage dollhouse dolls (I discovered Erna Meyer dolls [affiliate link] and decided they were awesome, and Kate agreed — those are Erna Meyer dolls in her photo above)
- Vintage Hawaiian dresses
- Vintage Hawaiian dress patterns
- Vintage caftans
- Tapa cloth
- Of course: Vintage steel kitchen cabinets — the monomania that started the blog
- In a way, I am monomaniacal when I am at an estate sale. I look everywhere. Every corner, every closet, every rafter. It’s like — I am in a dream — yes, delirious — when I am at the sale. I think there must be a lot of adrenaline or some such chemical pouring into my system before and during. It takes hours for the haze to clear.
When I get my monomania looking for a product/project solution, I can spend hours and hours without stopping, researching these items. My husband, he is amazed at how long I can sit at a computer and work. When I am “into” something, I really need to work hard to focus on other aspects of my life. I have never been a foodie, never cared much about cooking; at these times, it’s worse than ever. Thank goodness for Trader Joe’s frozen enchiladas. Here’s my recipe: Nuke ’em according to directions. Then open a can of pinto or black beans, drain, and nuke them, separately. Then put the enchiladas on top of the beans and nuke for another 30 seconds. There’s enough sauce in the Trader Joe’s enchiladas to sauce up the beans, too. Nom nom.
I also love Amy’s frozen entrees, the mateer paneer, in particular.
I would not say that my occasional monomanias disrupt my life in any truly serious way — and in many ways, they bring me tremendous joy. I also think that being able to focus intensely is part of both my nature, and my nurture. I an inquisitive and like to explore topics thoroughly — I have always been an excellent student. I majored in journalism — and the heart and soul of journalism is ‘reporting’ — that is: researching all angles.
When I am being gentle and kind to myself, I consider my ability to research so intensely a strength that contributes greatly to my hobbies and enables my current vocation and job: Understanding, exploring and sharing midcentury material culture and through it, social culture and history. But, if I am also being honest to myself, I also know that sometimes it can get out of hand. I can get… burnout… the up… the high… then the down… the low… overload… and exhaustion.
I’m not really a goal-setter. But a goal for me this year: (1) Remember to pace myself; (2) very importantly, be sure to spend lots of time with friends and family; and (3) overall, aim for better balance — so I can live a long long time and keep exploring!
Lynn Lukins says
Pam, you are definitely not alone! I do this all the time! I am a data analyst/statistician/researcher, so digging until I find the answers is what I do. This carries over to my renovation life as well. There’s a question- – e.g., what drapes will I get for my living room- – and I am not satisfied until I have the answer. I will look everywhere until I have certain answers: 1. Can I buy vintage? If so, where? 2. If not, can I get a retro that looks vintage and matches my stuff? 3. Do I settle for retro or wait, and search, until I find vintage? Of course, when I settle for retro (usually at more than I wanted to spend), I find vintage the next month! I go through this with most decisions about my home! And since it’s new to us and I am a bit of a perfectionist also, there are a lot of decisions to be made! Once the decision is made, I can move on and and feel like a weight has been lifted! I think it all goes along with generally wanting to explore all angles and doing things to the best of our ability. So I guess I’m also crazy in the same, good way!
Elisabeth says
Flamingos. It’s flamingos, especially the lawn flamingos. Our lawn flamingos have teeny little halloween costumes. We put vampire and skeleton lawn flamingos out as well. Santa’s inflatable sleigh is drawn by, you guessed it! flamingos! Family have supplied framed flamingo pictures for our hallways and a hand-painted toilet seat of the Fantasia II “Dance of the Flamingos”. Latest is finding the perfect flamingo painting to go over the couch (facing the “Dogs Playing Poker” print over the mantel piece) in our 1957 mid-century modest house. We’ll fill in some more from there.
Carla says
“all-consuming” – LOL, yep, I know that one. But the way I look at it, all-consuming is a gift, unless or until it becomes “all-the-time”. Look at all of the great discoveries and inventions down through history. They all required a certain doggedness and all-consuming interest to come to fruition. Certainly, to have created such a vast and valuable resource as this website would not have happened without your tireless, all-consuming researching!
Neil says
Take a break and try on for size what I’ve got going on, my dear…..
Pan-mania.
I’m in the antique business, and I’m the type that is very good with me hands and am an artist to boot, and have interests that range all over the frickin’ place. And all that lubricated by a large lower floor with lots of room to collect and store stuff.
Yikes.
And Yay.
So. I go shopping at estate sales here in San Francisco every weekend, of course, looking for stuff to sell (and been doing it 23 years now) and just can’t prevent myself from picking up interesting Oddments I come across…….Just In Case.
Just in case it will come in handy for a tarting-up project where I need that just-exactly-right doodad to make my piece of art or furniture that I’m dolling-up take on that ineffable Something that makes it simply, charmingly irresistable to a customer (but mostly, of course, ringing My bells first…)
Can’t tell you the countless – yes countless – times I’ve rustled around in my vast stash and come up the The Perfect Thing I’d brought home long ago, just in case, and it works Perfectly for the project I’m working on. It’s a delight.
But the other side of that coin is that I have mountains of great but non-specific, fascinating stuff going nowhere while it awaits it’s karma under my hands. There’s the yikes.
And then there are the shall-not-be-named numbers of un- or half-finished projects that got stalled since I couldn’t, for the life of me, find that just-right thing it needed; so I put it aside and let the creativity cook in the back of my mind until a solution pops into my head. Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Semi-yikes.
But….it’s a fun life and so far I haven’t been crushed under a collapsing pile of my own hoardiness. And this life style has supported and pleased me all these years. There’s the Yay.
So much fun!
Neil
pam kueber says
🙂
Diana says
I love mid century, but live in a small space with lots of stuff and have realized that I would never live well in a minimalist environment. With that said, my big monomania trends last 10-15 years, the last sound was bookmaking, rubber stamps & paper arts. Now I am sewing quilts and handbags and have amassed a number of vintage Singer sewing machines that I have taught myself to rebuild (thank you YouTube). Smaller monomania collections are vintage tins, KLM houses, fiesta, Enid collins handbags… you get the picture. So reading about the collections the dopamine rush, the intense discovery of information is SO relatable! Have fun and save for retirement!
lyndasewsalot says
Part of how I deal with my monomania, is logging on to your blog. Its where I feel at home ,and appreciated. I don’t feel abnormal here. You all let your freak flags fly!! You have made me appreciate myself for who I am. I no longer try to hide my process. I am more accepting of myself now. Wow, did you know you and Kate did this for me? I think not, since you never even met me.(lol……,in a crazy in a good way pitch). Thanks for being exactly who you are, endearingly eccentric.
pam kueber says
Wow. You have just made my day. And I just woke up and haven’t even finished my first cup of coffee (horrors!) xoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxo Thank you for such a lovely lovely comment.
Pat in PA says
I’m thankful for this blog…I’m 64 and love the 50’s, so enjoy seeing your great finds. Some bring back great memories! I have been cleaning out my house for the past couple years, so do not collect hoards, but have a few special retro items that I can’t part with and really do enjoy seeing them in my home. I swoon at your finds and wonder where you stash all of it?? 🙂
By the way, I understand completely not being a foodie–I would be happier taking a “meal pill” (like the Jetsons). Speaking of Trader Joe’s–you have to try their Marsala burgers (frozen) for a quick meal. Throw into microwave, then pan fry for a few minutes on each side. Put on a crispy bun with mayo or your favorite sauce. 🙂
pam kueber says
Seriously, I tried Soylent for a while. But I guess I do sort of like to chew so I went back to food.
KStacey says
I hear that! I would be happy pretty much eating the same thing every day. I like to save my creative juices for things that stick around a while, cooking usually seems like a waste of time to me!
Lisa Compo says
Being a group of like minded people I think we all have a touch of this,–retro goodies require effort to obtain. However some of us are more intense than others. I definitely fall into the intense category, perfectionistic, OCD to the max, relentless pursuit of “that exact thing”. I have the indulgent pleasure of DH working 12 hr shifts so I can obsess as long as I like on certain days.
Since there is only a finite amount of these items left in the world, perhaps that motivates us to search harder. I also look in every corner of places, throw pride to the wind and ask people for things, embarrass myself by writing letters…whatever it takes to get that something special. Yup, garbage cans, too.
I have given this a lot of thought since I read the post yesterday and I wonder if if not only has to do with personality, but brain chemistry. (Psych degree here). I think it’s almost like gambling, and the dopamine and adrenaline rush. When we spend years, months, WHATEVER it takes to find things, the thrill is so intense that it motivates us to continue. We are reinforced back in to the same behavior because of the great payoff…much better than money because objects are vanishing daily and so precious to us. I have been on a “hot streak” since October, collecting things for a retro house to build. Suddenly everything I have spent years looking for is turning up. Just found one of my “holy grail” by pure accident on a CL search. I know it will dry up one day, then I will have to take a break because it just isn’t there.
I also believe in the “Retro Gods” spiritual aspect of it that we speak of here. If it’s meant to be, you’ll find it, but as long as we can still function with the rest of our lives I see no harm in our dogged pursuit of things or projects. Pam, you have put all of your good work to excellent use here, it’s productive energy focused on something that benefits many. Time well spent. Thank You!! I don’t know what I would do if RR wasn’t here one day. Crazy in a Good Way…remember? 🙂
pam kueber says
🙂
Yes: I wrote about “nature” and “nurture”. And I also believe in feedback loops.
People are all crazy in their own (usually good) ways!
tammyCA says
I wish I could stay focused & energized. I get kinda obsessed with things or subjects because I’m curious & have the need to always be creative…but sticking with things all the way through to the finish is hard…I always say I have crafting ADD & when I’m spinning & bouncing from thing to thing & getting overwhelmed I need to back away or it isn’t joy anymore. I also realize that I’m probably never going to have that total vintage/mid-century look in my house, just some of it.
Christaface says
I didn’t read through all the comments to see if anyone mentioned this already, so sorry if it’s already been said, and I’m maybe projecting some of what I’ve been reading about lately, but this monomania sounds like a bit of an ADHD thing- the hyper focus. My 11-year-old was just diagnosed a few months ago, so we’ve been researching it, and I’ve basically diagnosed myself with it, as well! I didn’t suspect that diagnosis to be what his issues in school were related to, because he’s not a hyper, wiggly kid. But the psychologist said that his ability to hyper focus and be consumed by things he’s interested in, and lack of focus on things that don’t interest him that much pointed to ADHD. Holy cow, could I relate! And to me what your describing sounds Adult ADHD-esque. Worth looking into! 🙂
Nicole says
I was going to comment the same thing.