Today, I present 1960s polka-dot Formica Girl in a catfight smackdown against Medusa, the gorgon sister whose monstrous gaze turned mortal men to stone. Guess whose side I’m on? Warning: Uncharacteristic and generally-frowned-upon rant follows.
I have been looking at vacation condos in Florida recently. Everywhere you turn it’s: Granite on the countertops, bigggggg slabs o’ faux stone ceramic on the floors and backsplashes and even UP THE WALLS and not just on the bathrooms walls either. Shoot me.
All these baked surfaces are hard, cold, and they echo. The scale is usually way off. Moreover, the mass of stuff I’ve seen is just cheap crappola Applied All Over the Place. Sorry for my french and for breaking my rule about “not making anyone feel bad for their decisions.” But this mass hypnosis of the American public — which seems to go hand-in-hand with the Greige Nation — is just a crying shame. I am Very Tolerant about design choices. I really truly am. But this fixation on putting granite, faux-stone ceramic, stone and marble on every surface is Not Good. It is Not Attractive. I was not really aware of how bad it was, until I went condo shopping. Stop, America, stop!
I am a big fan of “mixing things up” when it comes to surfaces. Ceramic and/or marble and/or even some granite in the house is fine — in appropriate measures. Wood floors, cork, linoleum, VCT, carpet, rugs = Yes, there are so many choices, mix it up, have some fun! For midcentury modern and modest houses alike, laminate countertops are what’s *authentic* to the period. They usually suit the unpretentious character of the house.
Close your eyes to Medusa. Embrace Formica Girl and all her life-giving polka dot loveliness. Thanks to Formica blog for giving me permission to use their lovely photo. I’m sure they weren’t expecting this.
midmodms says
I confess to being somewhat addicted to HGTV, but lately I have been turning it off whenever I hear either the words “granite” or “needs updating”, when there are perfectly lovely, well maintained and period correct finishes already present. My beef is adding granite, dark cabinets and stainless steel appliances in houses that would never have had any of those materials used when they were built. Plus, boring! Isn’t everyone tired of it yet?
Elaine says
Yes! I hate when they say the appliances will have to go when they are perfectly serviceable and decent looking, but they aren’t stainless steel. Where do they get all that $$$?
Jen says
YES, Pam, YES! It’s okay to rant. lol
Certainly these things have their place, but they are so ubiquitous. And bland—I’m sorry, they just ARE! It’s a trend, and an expensive one at that, and I’ve been chuffed lately when I see brand new Formica *gasp* countertops being used in kitchen makeovers in magazines. It is about time. Granite can be lovely, but boy, is it expensive, and as you keep noting…it’s bound to be dated soon.
And it IS so cold. And as a kitchen mad scientist, I’d be a bit paranoid about chipping or staining or scratching it. And now Jackie has sealed the deal by noting it has killed her vintage Pyrex…! Eeep!
Maybe we need to come up with a companion to “travertine travesties”. 😉
Formica for the win!
Zoe says
Pam, I am so with you on this!
Granite has its place, but 90% of modern applications are just plain wrong. I hope this trend reaches the end of its life soon!
KDA says
We have granite in our kitchen, installed by the former owners. I would much prefer laminate. Granite is so cold and unforgiving. I cringe every time I accidentally hit the edge with a plate as I’m loading the dishwasher. What I love is watching shows like House Hunters, where they always insist on granite but then have to ask, “is this granite?”
Laura Meade says
Thank you! Went on this same rant several weeks ago with my husband. I’ve been searching Zillow for a midcentury house in Phoenix for several months and I’m horrified by what they’ve done. The Tuscan look simply doesn’t work with these houses, but they keep doing it. The worst offender?? Do it yourselfers. Uuugh. Currently I live in Western Washington where the Greige color scheme has run amok. There are five greige houses on my block. With the backdrop of the monochromatic grey sky it just all blends together. Of course that’s nothing at least the outside of the houses even with that color scheme retain their historical value it’s the inside…yes granite, travertine, stainless….
Jackie says
We spent 3 months searching the Phoenix area MLS for a mid century ranch that had not been remuddled. Phoenix is full of Mid Century houses yet we could only find a couple dozen that had not been “granitized” in the area we wanted to live. We did finally find a great untouched house, but a lot of times when a house hasn’t been remuddled it also hasn’t had the wiring and other much needed updating done either. Fortunately, we are willing to take on that challenge and are preventing another PHX Mid Century from falling into the Great Granite Abyss. I have granite in the rental we are in now and hate it. I keep breaking my vintage Pyrex dishes and glassware on it and don’t set a wet dish on granite, when it dries it will stick to the granite, YUCK.
PApple says
Just bought a home in AZ with our daughter (new build). Went to the design center to make our choices. I could rant all day but I will keep it short.
1. Steered towards all stone or stone look designs. Not a solid color (white was our preference) tile to be had in any size or shape (subway, square, liner tile, hex, penny) – nothing, nada! For ceramic tile as well as formica. EVERYTHING was stone look. UGHHH. Very frustrating.
2. Prices for their stone upgrades (i.e. granite) were 4 times the going home improvement store rate for the most common (and ugly) colors.
3. Hardwood floors – the price for that upgrade was obscene for laminate. I am taking $6,000 for 247 square feet.
I am impatient awaiting my eval form for this builder to give them a piece of my mind.
Thank you for letting me rant.
Jo Wilhelm says
Warm, colorful, comfortable homes are happy homes – end of story!
Carole says
For years now, I’ve felt stone way overdone in homes, especially in kitchen design. Not only is it cold and noisy, the glare from overhead lighting is astonishing. All that’s visible when walking into a granite covered room is the lighting reflected from the ceiling. The surface ‘eats’ light. There is usually no light bouncing into the room, instead being sucked directly into the counter top. And let me tell you, in Oregon, that’s important. It’s cloudy here a lot, and having surfaces that bounce light into the room is an important part of a desirable and livable home. Most of us don’t want a dark cave.
I have a slab of Corian in my kitchen, but only a small slab, which resides on the coffee bar on the opposite wall from the other counter tops. Not that Corian is the same thing, but my desire was to mix it up and not have one long boring expanse of the same material. The rest of my counters are Formica (I do wish I knew more about the BPA content of Formica). The island is butcher block.
When we remodeled I feel in love with a particular Earthstone (similar to Corian), but it was completely out of our price range. So, I went in search of a laminate that resembled it, and since that time, I’ve had design professionals walk into my house and study the counter tops because they believe they’re stone. lol It’s actually pretty funny to watch people get down at eye level with a counter, run their hands over it, look for seams…I did a good job at fooling the eye. lol
I like granite, it’s pretty, it’s classy, but I would never have it in my own home. It’s too formal for my liking anyway. Plus, I’ve never fallen into what’s trendy. I like too many other things, and the choices are unbelievable these days. We have Paperstone, Earthstone, Corian, laminate, concrete, so many ways to mix things up and keep our homes interesting.
Martha says
I hate to be cynical about this, but I believe the reason the HGTV people push something like this in excess is because they KNOW it’ll be outdated in a few years. It keeps the public coming back for more. I’m ready to kick the TV every time someone on House Hunters either raves about the gorgeous granite or complain about the dated laminate.
Emily says
I think it’s realistic, not cynical! Don’t forget about appeasing the advertisers either.