Today, I present 1960s polka-dot Formica Girl in a catfight smackdown against Medusa, the gorgon sister whose monstrous gaze turned mortal men to stone. Guess whose side I’m on? Warning: Uncharacteristic and generally-frowned-upon rant follows.
I have been looking at vacation condos in Florida recently. Everywhere you turn it’s: Granite on the countertops, bigggggg slabs o’ faux stone ceramic on the floors and backsplashes and even UP THE WALLS and not just on the bathrooms walls either. Shoot me.
All these baked surfaces are hard, cold, and they echo. The scale is usually way off. Moreover, the mass of stuff I’ve seen is just cheap crappola Applied All Over the Place. Sorry for my french and for breaking my rule about “not making anyone feel bad for their decisions.” But this mass hypnosis of the American public — which seems to go hand-in-hand with the Greige Nation — is just a crying shame. I am Very Tolerant about design choices. I really truly am. But this fixation on putting granite, faux-stone ceramic, stone and marble on every surface is Not Good. It is Not Attractive. I was not really aware of how bad it was, until I went condo shopping. Stop, America, stop!
I am a big fan of “mixing things up” when it comes to surfaces. Ceramic and/or marble and/or even some granite in the house is fine — in appropriate measures. Wood floors, cork, linoleum, VCT, carpet, rugs = Yes, there are so many choices, mix it up, have some fun! For midcentury modern and modest houses alike, laminate countertops are what’s *authentic* to the period. They usually suit the unpretentious character of the house.
Close your eyes to Medusa. Embrace Formica Girl and all her life-giving polka dot loveliness. Thanks to Formica blog for giving me permission to use their lovely photo. I’m sure they weren’t expecting this.
tt crews says
Your “rant” is mild compared to what I have thought-shouted at HGTV. Thanks!
Just another Pam says
Me too, tt, and I’ve got quite the mouth on me. But come on already, does every single house no matter what the vintage have to look 99.9% the same?
Decorating mags and shows used to be my first choice in entertainment but the clone wars sent me to the internet where, thank the decor goddess’, I found Pam. Not to forget all her followers and contributors, people who will not, cannot, be turned into drones. Blessings upon you all.
Jen says
“…does every single house no matter what the vintage have to look 99.9% the same? ”
Yes! This!!!
Laura's Last Ditch--Vintage Kitchenwares says
“Embrace Formica Girl and all her life-giving polka dot loveliness.”
Hilarious!
Katie says
You can find mid-century houses in the Phoenix area that haven’t been remuddled, but you have to be willing to look at a lot of houses. We found one in Mesa that needed some work, but hadn’t been ‘updated’.
hannah says
Stacy – while everyone at my work shops at the big chain stores (or Wal-Mart, Big Lots, depending on strata in the hierarchy of income) for furniture and decor that’s churned out with no individual personality style – I will say that they are all enthralled with what I’m doing here with my little 1961 ranch house. They LOVE seeing the furniture, textiles, and decorative accents I find to fill the house. While most of the people from my generation (baby boomer here) would never ‘go back’ to days gone by as we have with our house, they definitely can relate to the items in my house and have fond memories of the same or similar items they grew up with.
I think those of us that ensconce ourselves in this style are a very special breed, keeping the past alive. I think that’s worth a LOT.
All that to say, screw what someone commented on your pics. YOU KNOW it’s cool! ’nuff said. 🙂
Heart says
So Glad you are giving us a voice Pam. So true about the overdoing it with Granite. Matching the materials to the style/period of the home is KEY!
FYI: One thing I learned as a building inspector, a long time ago, it stopped being about ‘health/safety’ & became all about ‘selling new products’. Rules are passed & laws are changed for the next product to be sold.
Magazines/TV shows/Realtors pushing Products…
So let’s see; Granite/Stone, shipped from all over the world. What’s the carbon footprint on that??? We Rule!
hannah says
Your rant reminds me of all the HGTV house hunter shows I’ve seen where the prospective buyers walk into a vintage home and look at the laminate counter tops, knotty pine paneling, and the original vintage tiles in the bathroom disparagingly and say “Oh, this has to all come out…” Only, your rant is in the reverse. THANK GAWD!
Instead of looking at condos, can’t you find a little vintage cottage to buy that’s still intact?
Kelly McDonnell says
Hi Pam –
According to a USA Today Article, Granite is out.
http://www.usatoday.com/life/columnist/finalword/story/2012-02-07/final-word-kitchen-remodel-craig-wilson/53001492/1
I read the article weeks ago while sitting in the doctor’s office waiting room and thought of you.
I am glad I was able to find the article on line!
Karen C says
I’m with you, variety in homes is what makes it a home. In a few years people will be chucking out all the ceramic tile floors and granite counter tops. I am re doing my old kitchen and have formica counters in gray,white and black speckle, white painted wood cabinets, subway tile in white with TWO black pencil lines of tiles running along in a most lovely way, brown vinyl planks for the flooring, and the original plaster ceiling painted as it was nice. Did have to redo the walls as dark paneling over broken plaster just was not cool. I do not follow the modern trends, ever. A mix of old and new is best.
Jackie Toye says
I looove formica. I’m forever with a hammer and paint can near my hand. I need formica!! and as one who likes to redecorate – often – formica is My Budget Friendly Friend. my 1961 Mid Century Modern house loves it. I’m not authentic to the period, but I Love Formica!!
Lisa says
I agree. You are so correct and I hate todays style. Today’s stone look is far worse the the ’70s chunky wood look.
I am convinced that people lack the ability to think for themselves. Or should I say most people just have no sense of flavor? They all want the same thing. Neutral tile and stone.
Paul says
You beat me to it, Lisa. I am struck by the lack of imagination in most contemporary renovations. And HGTV renos in particular all seem to come from the same Home Depot/Lowe’s catalog of stuff. On the real estate shows, I am constantly amazed at the number of house shoppers put off by the color of a room or the fact that there aren’t stainless steel appliances. Have they no concept of the fact that they can actually choose things to put in their homes? And I guess they think the same stove that costs twice as much in stainless as it does in white actually cooks better.
Stacey says
My MIL gave me a subscription to the HGTV magazine and after reading the first issue cover to cover, I concluded that I had just looked at the same exact style for 60+ pages. They really do tout conformity! That’s EXCESS in their lack of diverse styles that I’m complaining about. I say we start our own network called RGTV.
And something about granite is the new keep-up-with-the-Jones item. No thanks; the Jones aren’t living in my house, but I am.
OK, here’s a funny: I put some pics on my blog about my revamped kitchen, which of course included my new Wilsonart laminate countertops, which I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE. I noticed someone had pinned one of my photos to their Pinterest page, so I bounced over to take a look. The person had added a rather derogatory remark that started with “OMG, not these countertops!”
Sometimes you have to have a thick skin when you are actively nonconforming!!! And that’s what bothers me (besides the insult): that if you don’t have granite or marble, everything else is substandard.
Thank goodness for you, Pam! This rant helps!
pam kueber says
The Joneses went broke.