Today, I present 1960s polka-dot Formica Girl in a catfight smackdown against Medusa, the gorgon sister whose monstrous gaze turned mortal men to stone. Guess whose side I’m on? Warning: Uncharacteristic and generally-frowned-upon rant follows.
I have been looking at vacation condos in Florida recently. Everywhere you turn it’s: Granite on the countertops, bigggggg slabs o’ faux stone ceramic on the floors and backsplashes and even UP THE WALLS and not just on the bathrooms walls either. Shoot me.
All these baked surfaces are hard, cold, and they echo. The scale is usually way off. Moreover, the mass of stuff I’ve seen is just cheap crappola Applied All Over the Place. Sorry for my french and for breaking my rule about “not making anyone feel bad for their decisions.” But this mass hypnosis of the American public — which seems to go hand-in-hand with the Greige Nation — is just a crying shame. I am Very Tolerant about design choices. I really truly am. But this fixation on putting granite, faux-stone ceramic, stone and marble on every surface is Not Good. It is Not Attractive. I was not really aware of how bad it was, until I went condo shopping. Stop, America, stop!
I am a big fan of “mixing things up” when it comes to surfaces. Ceramic and/or marble and/or even some granite in the house is fine — in appropriate measures. Wood floors, cork, linoleum, VCT, carpet, rugs = Yes, there are so many choices, mix it up, have some fun! For midcentury modern and modest houses alike, laminate countertops are what’s *authentic* to the period. They usually suit the unpretentious character of the house.
Close your eyes to Medusa. Embrace Formica Girl and all her life-giving polka dot loveliness. Thanks to Formica blog for giving me permission to use their lovely photo. I’m sure they weren’t expecting this.
SebastianFortLaud says
THANK YOU PAM! I have a love of antique & vintage furniture, as well as a love of 18th etchings…& I love in Fort Lauderdale, as you can tell by my name. I grew up in the Northeast in my parents 1940s ranch then 1880s rowhome in Philly, which yes…has a pink bathroom although mom stripped back most of the house to reflect the 1930s-1950s since a lot of BAD renovation took place there.
Anyway, one of my apartments here had everything you’d want in a FL home from the 50s: terrazzo floors throughout, tile instead of a wooden baseboard throughout, original doors, walk in closet with copper rod, porch, very I-love-Lucy pink bathroom, etc. Then I moved in with my partner & then it became time to find “our own place,” meaning one we both agreed on.
We saw TONS of 1960s buildings but…all gutted! We finally settled on a gutted one with all the granite you could want, etc. I was going to ask you, “How do you make a new place vintage with decorating & furniture, without overkill?” So, any suggestions? Maybe you will buy a gutted place & show us all in South Florida how to retrofit a contemporary design?
I can understand WHY they did all the granite…but traditional six-panel-doors in a 1960s building with “contemporary” design? Seriously…why???
Stuart says
I was fortunate to find a fine craftsman who restored the 1954 Kelvinator cabinets in my Orlando home, down to replicating new light fixture inserts for each cabinet. It took almost a year. I wanted to play up the clean, Jetson-esque lines of the cabinets, and wanted something fresher and less cluttered than a totally faithful period look; granite countertops would have been out of character. I opted for an affordable stainless-finish mica countertop, which you’re not supposed to use for this purpose, but the results are stunning, and anything but typical. They reflect the light and let the cabinets be the stars of the show. In this case, stainless was a good choice to update yet honor the original clean, futuristic spirit of these cabinets.
Paula says
Aren’t you sick to death of “Old World” decor? I used to work in model homes in the 90s, and 80 percent of the homes built had the same predictable granite countertops, ceramic floors, etc. I was shocked to see recently that homes are still using this fake and extremely tired heavy-handed theme. I will tell you for sure that ceramic tiles broke my feet while working in those homes, and there’s no way I’d want anything hard in my kitchen. I’ll take vinyl or wood, for comfort. There are so many WAY less expensive awesome laminates for the countertop that anyone who isn’t insecure and trying to impress the neighbors would surely opt out of granite. As for the other “Old World” touches, I like my antiques real, thank you! And I will totally mix them with retro modern whenever I feel like it too!
Rosemary says
And it will be clear in a few more years that the granite counter, stainless steel appliances and maple cabinets look will be tired and dated…Remodeled in the 2000’s?
Saddest though wa the lady we bought our 1940’s bungalow from who told us how they had to remodel the kitchen because the original owner had all pink appliances… I nearly cried.
NoCoRetro says
That’s why I love it here in this blog, Pam! Thank you. Everyone I know thinks it’s nuts for my husband and I to tear out the granite tiles (UGH) in the kitchen and replace it with Formica.
Christa says
It’s all about the industry and selling. Most people are not designers and they know it. They head down to the big store and buy what everyone buys, then at least they feel like they made a safe decision. It seems like no one ever actually looks at it and realizes that it doesn’t work, or maybe they don’t need it. What I can’t stand is listening to people describe their purchases as if they were making real design choices – “travertine for the patio” “granite counters” et al. As if only a complete rube would do anything else. They are only parroting what a salesman at Lowes said.
Rebecca says
I don’t know where to begin. Let’s start with a confession…I have significantly altered a mid-century modern home. Not all of it in a good way. Let’s just say I am enthusiastic about my decorating. Your rant was timely for me. I am on round two of remodeling a 1955 property and am showing a lot of restraint. Your readers will be shocked to hear that we just gutted two mid-century bathrooms, but their time had come and most of the tile was chipped and cracked. They are not being replaced with granite but white countertops, white semi -gloss tile in the shower and a very subtle but cool, kinda Asian inspired tile accent wall. All very modern! The house gets additional electrical and new and improved heat so it is a win-win. Mid-century modern isn’t always restoration, sometimes it is plain old renovation but staying true to the aesthetics and principles of the mid-century modern style.
pam kueber says
Yup!!! Sounds wonderful, Rebecca — be sure to take lots of before- and after- photos!
tammyCA says
When we were house hunting last year I was so disgusted by all that awful brown mottled granite & it was so out of place…my phrase was, “granite is for graveyards and marble for mausoleums”.
And, btw, thank you for the info on B&W tile in SoCal…we are currently having their aqua tiles installed in our bathroom shower (sadly, the original ’54 tile had to finally be ripped out…it was in very bad condition & some tiles fell off & broke).
Which reminds me…last night I was watching “House Hunters” and these rich buyers bought the 1920s house with the major cool Art Deco green tile bathroom and wonderful archways…and, tore it all out!! As I was watching the show I was hoping that was the house they wouldn’t buy since they kept saying, “it’s ugly, we have to rip this out – we have to knock this archway out, blah, blah.” I wish people in So Cal would just try to preserve instead of making it look like something it isn’t.
A few years back I got a lot of flack from DH about our front vintage windows with the diamond panes when we had to replace the other windows…I insisted these stay put even if they barely open…I love these windows, they have character…I’m still glad I kept these intact. I was sad to see the other wooden house windows go, but they didn’t have the diamond panes & we really needed to have some windows open easily…but, I still dislike the new vinyl ones with fake pane lines. It’s hard when my DH isn’t concerned about preserving or liking vintage like I am…thank goodness, that B&W tile was only 10 min. from his work so he was able to get those fairly easily.
Suzanne says
From one SoCal gal to another. I know what you went thru. My hubby & I are waiting impatiently for escrow to close on our 1954 house. We saw tons of houses made anywhere between 1910 to 1960, almost all of them with the same tired granite counter tops and out of the box cabinets. “Move in ready”, they call it. I call it a shame.
We finallly found (or it found us) a house that the original owner had recently passed away and her sons wanted to get rid of the house. We got it for $20k less than asking because it’s such disrepair. But it has orginial oak floors, the most coolest light fixtures and wallpaper. I can wait to start restoring as much as we can and getting it looking as good as when the place was new.
Jana (Berniecat) says
Living in Central Florida, it truly is difficult to find older homes that are still “authentic” and intact with many of their original features. Granite seems to be pushed by builders, contractors and realtors. I’m not knocking it if that is what you want, but… what a pity so many of the fewer older homes are “remodeled” with granite counter tops and tile floors. It makes me sad to see that so much of the original character is taken away in favor of the “current trend”.
Sherree says
I cannot stand to see one more vintage kitchen ripped out in favor of granite counter tops, hardwood floors and stainless steel appliances! Besides, given the cost for these items, you are struck with them and can never afford to remodel when they go out of style. I will be happy with my laminate choices and bargain basement finds, thank you very much. At least when someone comes to visit our home there is always something new and different to look at!