Warning: This is going to be a long rambling story, because writing this out helps me analyze, and I am not always sure *exactly* how I feel. I will probably continue to edit for clarity, based on your feedback. So here goes:
- I always seem to open a can of worms when I allow myself a (usually highly caffeinated) rant. I’ve also *allowed* the rant a few other times, when discussing Resist the Greige Nation, for example.
- On the other hand, I have a mantra about reader comments: “No one should be made to feel bad for their decisions”… and I do not like and will usually editcertain words like h***, u***, h******, and d****. <– My edits are usually comprised of adding the asterisks, blanking out the letters.
- Hmmm: Do my prohibitions about negative reader comments become hypocritical when I launch a rant? In the same vein, then, is it “okay” or “wrong” for me to edit comments that include the irksome h***, etc. words?
- Whenever I launch a rant, I think I may also be leaving the impression that I oppose remodeling… that not keeping what’s original is *wrong.* Clarification is due.
So in this story, I’m gonna try to outline my thinking about and approach to these points, with the caveat — make your own decisions — it’s your house!
1. Yes, this blog is pro-preservation.
When I first started this blog, I consciously made the decision to stay away from politics and social commentary. I’ve tiptoed in only occasionally, I *think*. For example, there were lots of bad social things going on from 1946 onward. I don’t try to illuminate or opine on them, that’s for other blogs. This blog is, fundamentally, about researching and reporting on resources to help you renovate your home in period-appropriate style — delivering products and ideas to help owners of midcentury houses get their jobs done more easily — in a marketing world that doesn’t make it easy, because our journey is not with the mainstream.
In the same vein, I kind of consciously made the decision that I would try to stay away from the politics of renovation and remodeling a house. Although in this area, I am sure I have been less successful.
In general, I have tried not to *preach* that you should keep what you have, versus gut remodel it for something new. I *think* I understand it’s more effective to *show* rather than to *tell*, so I show photos of how our homes and interiors were originally designed… so you can see how it was done… I show photos of how other readers are renovating… all, so that you can make your own decisions. I try not to tell you what you should do.
But do I *believe* that a homeowner should try to preserve what they have rather than gut it?
Yes — as a first approach to your new/old home — yes, I do. And, I am very sure my beliefs comes through in what I write. There is no such thing as objective journalism. So, even though I say I don’t want to tell you what to do, of course, I am going to bend that way in what I write about and how I write about it.
Even so, like I said, I try not to preach. Instead, I try to “show”. For example, if a reader sends me photos of their renovation to consider for the blog, and they gutted what I believe was a perfectly nice looking original room and replaced it with something kind of … 2012 … well, then, I don’t post it. I figure, “They don’t understand the focus of this blog.” The focus is: Renovating in period-appropriate style.
Why do I believe that preservation is a wise first route? Let me count the ways:
- (1) Don’t kid yourself, every room in your house is, and looks *dated*. Dated to the date when what was added was “hot.” There may be some truly timeless rooms out there, but golly, they are hard to find.
- (2) If you are gonna renovate for longterm value, you might as well *date* your interiors to the *date* of the house, because at least when people say it’s *dated* it will be *dated* historically appropriately. One day it may even be desirable as an “authentic period restoration” — and there are usually markets for authentic.
- (3) This is especially true about kitchens and bathrooms — which cost a lot of money to renovate. Heck, do whatever you want with your furniture, but anything expensive affixed to the wall, think long and hard before plunking down that credit card for today’s latest fashion, unless you plan on putting the house up for sale the day your renovation is complete. Even then, flipping is risky business.
- (4) Midcentury homes are historically interesting, beautiful and increasingly desirable. Over the past five years, I have heard more and more and more examples of folks wanting time capsules in great shape. Why rip out what is going to be desirable?
- (5) Much of what was built in midcentury America was better made that what’s available today. If it has lasted 50 years already and is still in good shape today, I’ll bet that it has many more decades of utility ahead, if it continues to be well maintained.
- (6) How much of your money do you really want to spend on renovating your house? Maybe you would rather save for retirement instead? It may be fun to be young and poor, but it’s not fun to be old and poor.
- (7) If everyone in the world lived like we do in America, we would need four Earths to supply the materials.
- (8) Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. If you were a perfectly nice vintage bathroom or kitchen and still had lots of life left in you, would you want to be gutted with an evil glee sledgehammer? Okay, so now I am getting kind of silly with my list. You get the point. But kinda bottom line: Default = Leave the stuff alone, make sure it’s safe and environmentally friendly. Bank your savings; debt is very stressful. Respect the old — and the life-energy of the people who built the old. (Could they really all have been wrong in how they designed these homes? Are we really that much smarter about design? I don’t see any evidence that’s so.) Love the House You’re In.
2. At the same time, this blog is not anti-remodel.
When Kate wrote about her decision to gut-remodel her bathroom, one commenter noted that she sounded almost apologetic. Actually — it was me who, in the edit process, asked Kate to beef up the story to ensure she showed gratitude for the old bathroom and the service that it had provided. This is something that grew on me and my focus over time. One thing that I *think* I have learned in the five years of doing the blog, is that in postwar America, people were immensely grateful to be able to build and buy the houses we are now in. I won’t belabor the point, but most Americans had diddly squat until after World War II. Like, a huge percentage did not have indoor plumbing. So my takeaway is: Who are we to think the bathrooms or kitchens or knotty pine living rooms that they so gratefully built and raised their families in are *fill in the blank with a mean-minded adjective”? Really. I never knew anyone who went out of their way to design an u*** room — the folks who installed these rooms thought that their new/now old (bathroom, kitchen, etc.) was beautiful. And in the day it probably was! Au courant! But, au courant changes… Usually because marketers want to dis-satisfy us with what we have…. They want us to rip out what they sold us 50 years or 30 years or 10 years ago…. and buy their new and improved look…. which becomes *dated* soon enough…. and the ridiculous cycle starts all over again. Be cognizant of the manipulation — and you can break the cycle in your own life and spend less time and less money chasing the fleeting fashion dream.
Did you know that gratitude is the #1 attribute of happy people? Be grateful for that bathroom, even if — and maybe especially if — you decide it is time to remodel.
But am against gut remodeling? NO. I gut remodeled my three bathrooms and my kitchen. I don’t want to go into great detail to defend my decision — because we don’t need to defend our decisions. Suffice to say, I think I was true to my beliefs on this one — I always compliment the 1970s kitchen that we replaced — it was really nicely done given the styles then — really! And, I really liked the multicolor bathrooms and would surely have kept them if they had been in better shape. In each case — with both the kitchen and the bathrooms — I surely did not like having to spend all that money to gut remodel, and the whole process was very stressful.
On Kate’s story, Brian T. asked this question:
Pam has started her list of things that are definitely valuable to a Retro Renovator. How about a list of things that no one needs to feel guilty about tossing, even though they’re “vintage”? Item #1: Plastic tile! I just got rid of it in a bathroom I gutted — there was no question of trying to work with it. It seem like “mauve” might make the list for some reason, along with “things that smell” and “things that will never look clean.” Pam, you’ve instilled a sort of moral code about “thou shalt not assume pink bathrooms are too dated to live with”; can you start up a list of “thou shalt not beat thyself up for throwing out ____”?
The Retro Renovator’s Creed:
Thou shalt not beat thyself up for throwing out… features (yes, original bathrooms and kitchens, included) that you have lived with for a while, sought to understand (rather than just h*** in a knee-jerk way), decide just aren’t for you, and which you can afford to change without adding to the family into debt in a way that will stress you out. (Test: If you only paid cash, and you had saved up all the money, would you really use all the cash for this project?)
>If it’s broken beyond repair… or if repairing it would cost more than buying a comparable new replacement… do what you gotta do.>If technology has improved and a new product available today delivers important or useful new benefits — and especially if they relate to safety or energy and the environment… sure, swap it out.>
If you need to reconfigure the space to accommodate your needs and to lively happily there… yes, of course, make the house your own.>This is your house — make it the place you love. But: Let the old stuff go with respect for the service it has provided the generations before — no evil-glee sledgehammering. Remember, that bathroom/kitchen/etc. was someone’s pride and joy once — they raised their families there — they loved that room. Respect their decisions, don’t deride them. See: The Golden Rule. Most everyone I talk today bemoans the “loss of civility” in discourse today; let’s take the high road and be civil about how we treat and talk about the rooms that came before us.
>
Send still-functional materials to the Re-Store, if you really think someone else will want them.
>And of course, prioritize renovations that address identified safety and environmental issues — and when you renovate, engage properly licensed professionals and Renovate Safe.
My blog is my happy place. Hateful angry words distress me. They are usually not required — really: *Hate* a room color? I have said before, Let’s save our hate and the call-to-action it engenders for [fill in the blank, choose social/political issues that you really care about] that lead to real human suffering (rather than the suffering that comes from having to bathe in a pastel-colored bathroom, for example). So I don’t allow these words in comments on the blog: Hate, Ugly, Hideous, Dated. Please try not to use them, I will edit the word with asterisks. Most regular readers know my feelings and approach to this — and they’ve told me they appreciate it… that it is part of what has made this a supportive community. On a regular basis, this whole h***, etc. issue is not a very big issue on the blog. It usually comes up only when I start the rant. Then others jump right in to play. I totally understand. So, in a goodly number of cases, I’ll take the pin!
So: What if you don’t really like something on the blog and want to offer a critical comment? (1) If it’s simply a product that I have posted, say, something from the Crate & Barrel website, hey, no problem, say why you don’t like it and why and offer an alternative. Be nice about it, of course. BUT (2), if it’s a reader’s home, well, you know the answer already. This is a supportive site. Find something to like and comment on that and move on. Honestly, this is not much of an issue on this site, I can only think of two or three times I did not approve a nasty comment, and they were from passers-by, not regulars. I am writing this only to be complete.
What if you have “advice” for a reader and their room? A “rule” I read on this recently: Don’t offer advice unless someone has agreed you may offer it. As in, a made-up example: Mary has shared a shot of her living room so that we can see her Heywood Wakefield collection. There is no talk of wall color. You think you have a great idea. Before just spitting it out, you need to ask, “Wow, that room is really beautiful. May I offer you some ideas about a wall color that might make that whole Heywood Wakefield set pop even more?” If Mary responds saying, “Sure, I’d love to hear!,” you are good to go. But maybe she will say, “We just painted the room this color last week, and we are really happy with it.” Which means oopsy, shut yer trap. Or maybe she won’t answer at all. Which means…. yup, shut yer trap. Bottom line: If you ask permission to give advice, and the recipient says yes, the recipient is more … receptive. This is the civil way to do it. Mea culpa: On Kate’s post about her bathroom room layout, she didn’t ask for my help — and I didn’t ask permission. Yet, I jumped right in to offer advice. This was not the “right” way to do it. She gets mega props for responding with grace. (Next time, I will have her make her closing point in the blog post, “What do you think of my layout, readers?” haha)
Hey, the other thing I want to bring up is how we talk about other homeowners who choose current decorating styles. On this point, I also want to encourage civility… and I may start editing comments accordingly. Yes, folks continue to put in granite countertops etc. etc. etc. in droves. This does not make them bad people. I think about how to talk about this a lot, and here is what I have come up with:
I think that a lot of folks have only limited interest in decorating. They will buy what’s current. And move on. And that’s okay. They have other passions, other interests… whereas we are nutso passionate and highly visual and way way way into decor.
HEY: The folks who built and furnished our groovy mid mods also were most likely only interested in their decor up to a point. THEY bought what was CURRENT, too. I even have vintage marketing material — training for a steel kitchen cabinets salesman — instructing him that the first job he had, during a customer consultation, was to “dis-satisfy her with her kitchen.” This was like 1948! 50 or 60 years later, we are left with their desire for “the latest and greatest.”
I guess what I’m saying is: So, let’s be sure we are civil, too, about all other folks and their decorating choices. This means that even I will need to stop dropping “Save the Pink Bathroom” bombs on other blogs that continue to show decimated pink bathrooms, I’m pretty sure it’s not winning any converts, just annoying folks who are trying to do their best. I will revert to the approach I started out with: Show don’t tell. Does that make sense?
4. Is it hypocritical of me to rant, given the policies I’ve just outlined?
Yes, guilty. It’s easier to catch a bear with honey. Or is it, bees to honey? Whenever I rant — which I usually try to focus on marketeers, certainly not individuals — I always get lots of positive feedback from readers. Go, Pam, go! But I also almost always end up offending a few (maybe more), too — because this ain’t a real conversation where you can really explain yourself and talk things through, it’s writing, and sometimes it comes out …. wrong…. or harsher than you mean it to. I don’t want to offend. I want to make this a place where people feel good about and encouraged in their decisions to make a home they love — usually in a way that’s “the road less traveled”. So I recommit to trying to moderate my rants in the future. I think I can still make my points: By showing, not telling, and when I must opine — with civility.
Lynne says
Pam, I am getting the feeling that you kind of regretted that Lowes “rant”, and that you agonized and beat your self up over it all weekend. I think you’re being too hard on yourself. I think we all can get a little carried away when we are passionate about an issue.
Those of us who read every day know full well that this is a happy, friendly, informative place to be. I also think we all know that 99% of the comments made are meant to be constructive and helpful. Sometimes in print they “read” a little differently than they are meant.
Nice work on the Creed, it must have taken you a long time to put all of your thoughts into words…it’s appreciated.
Kathryn says
Pam, I really admire your ability and willingness to consider and respect multiple perspectives. That can be hard to do, especially when you are really passionate about something! Your blog is a wonderful resource.
Mary Tatum says
I was desperately trying to fill in the ***’s with naughty words. So glad to find out what they mean.
Gail says
Me too!
Guy H. says
Yeah. Trying to decode this site isn’t going to be fun.
Guy H. says
Anyone figure out what s**** and p**** are? I spotted these in the comments.
pam kueber says
i forget the s* but the p* had to do with regurgitation. I edited them because they hurt my eyes (see yesterday’s story).
scantee says
Thank you for this Pam. I think you do a great job keeping this place positive even while strongly advocating your own point of view.
I missed the earlier thread about the Lowe’s commercial. I’ve seen it a few times and the thing that bothered me was that it ended with a line that implied that remodeling is a job that never ends. Can’t we just enjoy the places we live without continuously fixing them up? That, to me, is one of the joys of letting an old home be; it allows me to more free time to do the things I love.
Anne-Marie says
What a lovely way to start the week. What you spell out here regarding the importance of respect and gratitude applies to many areas of my life. Thanks for the gentle reminder.
Janet says
Ohmygosh, Pam, it must have taken you all weekend to write your Retro Renovators Creed. I agree it should be posted for everyone to follow, not just this group of people. I see way too much sniping and lack of civility and respect on many chat groups. I too love this group and appreciate very much what you do. Like Brian, I can understand the need to replace or renovate when necessary. My first house had a plastic tile bathroom that I just could not abide. We always stay in a fifties motel up in Maine and the first time I just about swooned with delight when I walked into the pink and black tiled original bathroom. Unfortunately, recently they had to replace the sinks because the separate hot and cold water taps were hard for some people to use, and they had to put in new commercial linoleum because the old tile floor never looked clean enough. I was very sad but can understand the reason for the replacement. I have been collecting and saving fifties turquoise and pink household items for years, hoping to find a fifties ranch to retire to up in Maine. But fifties ranches in Maine are hard to find and most I do find have been renovated. Again, I am sure that the owners found it necessary to replace the kitchens and bathrooms but it still makes me sad! To each his own, I always say; I am so glad for this site and so happy there are others who share my love for “old is better”. I too feel sick when I see an old house whose kitchen and bath are way too new looking as I feel they just aren’t “cozy” any more and don’t have that homey feeling. Now I am raving here and I apologize but I do get carried away. For sure, keep up the good work!
JKaye says
Your “rant” on the Lowe’s video: Not hypocritical, since you went to extreme lengths to explain your point of view so that you wouldn’t be hypocritical or plain old snarky. You’ve proved you aren’t anti-remodel by posting many features on your own or someone else’s remodeling projects. Now, if you post a video of Kate taking a sledge hammer to her mauve tiles, then you will be hypocritical!
On whether you should beat yourself up for tossing something vintage: Around here, the only stuff that has literally been tossed in the garbage was so filthy or so electrically unsafe that it seemed likely to be a health hazard to someone. And the electrically unsafe was two ceiling light fixtures that probably could have been rewired, but we didn’t think of it. I feel no guilt over tossing out some disgusting grease-covered and water damaged kitchen cabinetry, but a little guilt over the two light fixtures — maybe they could have gone to the ReStore. You can always get rid of some of the guilt by donating something to the ReStore or selling it so that someone else can use it.
Kate says
JKaye,
I can assure you that I will not be using a sledge hammer on my mauve tiles! Too dangerous! I’ll likely use some sort of careful chiseling method.
I’m also planning on taking as much as I can to my local restore! 🙂
JKaye says
Hi Kate. My comment on sledge hammer and mauve tiles was extreme as a way to make a point. I know you and Pam both emphasize safety and recycling, so, I don’t want anyone to think I really thought otherwise. I’m really looking forward to your bathroom project and seeing how you do indeed handle some of the tough jobs like tile removal.
puddletowncheryl says
I was looking at an Eichler site yesterday and they described your blog as a fun happy site. Who could improve on that?
I think we should post this “rant”‘ all over the internet to encourage gratitude and civility in all walks of life.
I try to be grateful, civil and laugh out loud every day.
Thank you Pam for making it so much easier to reach my goal everyday.
Especially the laugh out loud.
Dave says
Gratitude….the single most important point made in the above if you ask me. I get a little weary of the ingratitude I encounter on an almost daily basis. I love your attitude and this invaluable site.
ChrisH says
Wow Pam, you should get about 300 posts on this I think. I’ll limit myself to one small tangent – a related tangent, because you mention it – “This blog is, fundamentally, about researching and reporting on resources to help you renovate your home in period-appropriate style – …”
Your focus is on mid century homes, which is just fine. I love the mid century look. But for many of us readers, mid century would actually be an update. It would be period inappropriate, if the year the house was built is the guideline for what “period appropriate” means.
I believe that period inappropriate remodeling is actually very historically accurate. Consider – if we had a time machine, and could go back and look at my living room in 1955 what would we likely see? My house was built in 1917. I bet in ’55 there was some danish modern furniture, a blond coffee table, “current” wallpaper, etc. Not to mention a TV.
I’d like to do a mid century vibe in the living room, which for our house, is period incorrect. Yet, it might be historically accurate. This is what people were doing in the ’50s – updating their older homes. “Remudling” them, if you will.
The kitchen is an even better example – by ’55 the original kitchen, if it still existed was not only “dated” but genuinely obsolete. A hoosier cabinet, a sink, a fidgety old gas stove, and an ice box (and I mean a literal ice box, not a ‘fridge) is not how people wanted to live in the post-war years.
Alas, whatever the kitchen was like in ’55, when we bought the place in ’86 it had been “remudled” on a budget. There is nothing about the kitchen worth saving, or of any historic value. When we do the remodel (with cash, not credit) it will basically be a “gut and redo” to a period not correct for the time the home was built. (Hopefully a late ’30s/early ’40s look)
This is really not a big deal. I understand the general ‘vibe’ of RR. Still “period correct” always gets me thinking about the role that “updates” have historically played in remodeling.
pam kueber says
These are great points. Let me think about how to update my story to incorporate some of these thoughts and be even clearer. Thank you.
Jenny A. says
Very thought provoking and true. I’ve had similar thoughts before. Unless a person is very wealthy, he or she probably buys furnishings for their home that they like and intend on keeping for a long time. That item might be “in style” at the time of purchase but 20 years later considered to be d****. Do they chuck perfectly good furnishings simply to keep current? Some do but most don’t. My own parents’ house was a mixture of things they’d collected over the years and yet it felt warm and personal rather than decoratively disjointed. Plus, as Pam points out, their interests did not lie in decorating, so they just went with what they liked and was readily available, not what was period appropriate. This was in the 70’s and 80’s and their house was built in 1963. We had an old record player from the late 40’s, an 80’s faux butcher block kitchen table, the original turquoise stove and refrigerator, the rocking chair my mother rocked me in, the same one her mother had from the 30’s, etc. So as you point-out, Chris, period inappropriateness can be historically accurate. That brings me to thoughts of my own home. I have strived to keep in touch with the period of my home, yet I know that time keeps marching on, and it is, in fact, an impossible task. Plus, my home is probably not accurate compared to how the original owners decorated it when it was built in 1956. It probably would have looked more like my parent’s home. Therefore, I’ve become quite content with what I have which has made me a happier person right now and 20 years from now. My brain has exploded from this universe-expanding train of thought 😉
Pam, I love this site because not only is it intelligent, it also strives to elevate our society and I appreciate it very much. Thank you.
Suzanne says
I’m very late reading this. I was still in my 70s condo at the time this was written. It’s nice to read that our homes, as much as we love mid-century, are a mix of the things that are meaningful. I will not toss out things my kids made in the 1990s because it’s not style appropriate for my 1954 home. ErasureHead movie poster sits along side my vintage Mexican art. I will still hang on to my Sgt Pepper lava lamp. My way of thinking is..if you like to look at it…keep it.
Josh says
I totally agree with ChrisH. I grew up in houses dating from, roughly, 1875-1925. All of them had been substantially updated during the post-war years; steel or pine kitchens, snazzy colored tile in bathrooms, wide aluminum venetian blinds, low-slung upholstered furniture, french provincial bedroom sets, foil wallpaper…. and I find that I feel most comfortable in that type of setting. I currently live in a modest 1892 house. It was assuredly filled with floral carpets, heavy drapery, and dark furniture originally. The original bathrooms are long gone. I have no particular interest in creating a “victorian” interior in my home. I think that it is important to create a home you love. If you have a fabulous, original feature, think long and hard before removing it. But if you have, like me, a home stripped of most of it’s original features, just use what makes you and your family happy and comfortable. I’ve really enjoyed slowly filling the house up with furniture, rugs, light fixtures, etc. I find as I do this, that the house is coming to resemble those houses from my childhood. Most certainly not period-appropriate, but it feels right.
pam kueber says
Josh, your approach makes total sense.
Stacey says
Jenny and Josh – I love what you say about collecting meaningful and purposeful items in your home over a long period of time. That does make it a home, versus a magazine layout or a museum. My mom decorated her houses from the early 1950s to now. And she never throws anything away. So, I guess I’ve grown up with that look of combining periods and styles in a home.
Pam, I really appreciate your moderating the more harsh words on your blog. By doing so, you’ve created one of the few very safe places on the web where folks can not only share ideas but actual PICTURES OF THEIR HOMES! A person has to feel safe to do that, otherwise it just becomes a competition. And, your rants are not hypocritical; they are a welcome balance to the tidal wave of advertising coming our way. You and your commenters have really given me… courage (is that too strong a word?)… to decorate as I like.
Gail says
So, picking an era to represent…
My house was built in 1918, and was a butchershop/meatmarket, (it wouldn’t have had electric or plumbing to start with) then a corner store till sometime in the 70’s? My kitchen was a cheap, falling apart 80’s remudle. We have found the original wood floor under 4 layers of junk.
I’m using my imagination that the original wood floor would have been used for quite a while, with it’s first “modern” kitchen being installed in the 40’s or 50’s
In general the look I’m going for is what I call, “Farmhouse meets the Jetson’s” It’s a little hard to describe but I know it when I see it.
I’m so glad I stumbled upon retrorenovation to regain an appreciation for classic, good mid-century design. Prior to that, I too could have gone the “granite” route.
Another website has also been some of my inspiration: https://www.facebook.com/apartmenttherapy
It’s amazing how what goes around comes around and was pleased to find that IKEA has this vibe going and many retrorenovation fans have used IKEA. Thus I’ve chosen there STAT cabinet, for that beadboard “40’s farmhouse” effect.
I’m actually looking for a 40″ working vintage electric stove from the era, via ebay/craigslist…
So, think white: clean, simple, organized, with Apple Green color accessories and walls, stainless steel/chrome and some mid-century vintage accents, thus the “knick-knack” shelf cabinets on the right side, upper and lower (just like Grandma had!).
Our “Hoosier” cabinet (with black trimmed/white porcelain top)has been given it a fresh coat of white paint and will have the vintage look brushed chrome hardware (IKEA) that will match the rest of the cabinets. The cabinet will become my baking center, with my standing mixer.
Patty says
“Like”