Warning: This is going to be a long rambling story, because writing this out helps me analyze, and I am not always sure *exactly* how I feel. I will probably continue to edit for clarity, based on your feedback. So here goes:
- I always seem to open a can of worms when I allow myself a (usually highly caffeinated) rant. I’ve also *allowed* the rant a few other times, when discussing Resist the Greige Nation, for example.
- On the other hand, I have a mantra about reader comments: “No one should be made to feel bad for their decisions”… and I do not like and will usually editcertain words like h***, u***, h******, and d****. <– My edits are usually comprised of adding the asterisks, blanking out the letters.
- Hmmm: Do my prohibitions about negative reader comments become hypocritical when I launch a rant? In the same vein, then, is it “okay” or “wrong” for me to edit comments that include the irksome h***, etc. words?
- Whenever I launch a rant, I think I may also be leaving the impression that I oppose remodeling… that not keeping what’s original is *wrong.* Clarification is due.
So in this story, I’m gonna try to outline my thinking about and approach to these points, with the caveat — make your own decisions — it’s your house!
1. Yes, this blog is pro-preservation.
When I first started this blog, I consciously made the decision to stay away from politics and social commentary. I’ve tiptoed in only occasionally, I *think*. For example, there were lots of bad social things going on from 1946 onward. I don’t try to illuminate or opine on them, that’s for other blogs. This blog is, fundamentally, about researching and reporting on resources to help you renovate your home in period-appropriate style — delivering products and ideas to help owners of midcentury houses get their jobs done more easily — in a marketing world that doesn’t make it easy, because our journey is not with the mainstream.
In the same vein, I kind of consciously made the decision that I would try to stay away from the politics of renovation and remodeling a house. Although in this area, I am sure I have been less successful.
In general, I have tried not to *preach* that you should keep what you have, versus gut remodel it for something new. I *think* I understand it’s more effective to *show* rather than to *tell*, so I show photos of how our homes and interiors were originally designed… so you can see how it was done… I show photos of how other readers are renovating… all, so that you can make your own decisions. I try not to tell you what you should do.
But do I *believe* that a homeowner should try to preserve what they have rather than gut it?
Yes — as a first approach to your new/old home — yes, I do. And, I am very sure my beliefs comes through in what I write. There is no such thing as objective journalism. So, even though I say I don’t want to tell you what to do, of course, I am going to bend that way in what I write about and how I write about it.
Even so, like I said, I try not to preach. Instead, I try to “show”. For example, if a reader sends me photos of their renovation to consider for the blog, and they gutted what I believe was a perfectly nice looking original room and replaced it with something kind of … 2012 … well, then, I don’t post it. I figure, “They don’t understand the focus of this blog.” The focus is: Renovating in period-appropriate style.
Why do I believe that preservation is a wise first route? Let me count the ways:
- (1) Don’t kid yourself, every room in your house is, and looks *dated*. Dated to the date when what was added was “hot.” There may be some truly timeless rooms out there, but golly, they are hard to find.
- (2) If you are gonna renovate for longterm value, you might as well *date* your interiors to the *date* of the house, because at least when people say it’s *dated* it will be *dated* historically appropriately. One day it may even be desirable as an “authentic period restoration” — and there are usually markets for authentic.
- (3) This is especially true about kitchens and bathrooms — which cost a lot of money to renovate. Heck, do whatever you want with your furniture, but anything expensive affixed to the wall, think long and hard before plunking down that credit card for today’s latest fashion, unless you plan on putting the house up for sale the day your renovation is complete. Even then, flipping is risky business.
- (4) Midcentury homes are historically interesting, beautiful and increasingly desirable. Over the past five years, I have heard more and more and more examples of folks wanting time capsules in great shape. Why rip out what is going to be desirable?
- (5) Much of what was built in midcentury America was better made that what’s available today. If it has lasted 50 years already and is still in good shape today, I’ll bet that it has many more decades of utility ahead, if it continues to be well maintained.
- (6) How much of your money do you really want to spend on renovating your house? Maybe you would rather save for retirement instead? It may be fun to be young and poor, but it’s not fun to be old and poor.
- (7) If everyone in the world lived like we do in America, we would need four Earths to supply the materials.
- (8) Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. If you were a perfectly nice vintage bathroom or kitchen and still had lots of life left in you, would you want to be gutted with an evil glee sledgehammer? Okay, so now I am getting kind of silly with my list. You get the point. But kinda bottom line: Default = Leave the stuff alone, make sure it’s safe and environmentally friendly. Bank your savings; debt is very stressful. Respect the old — and the life-energy of the people who built the old. (Could they really all have been wrong in how they designed these homes? Are we really that much smarter about design? I don’t see any evidence that’s so.) Love the House You’re In.
2. At the same time, this blog is not anti-remodel.
When Kate wrote about her decision to gut-remodel her bathroom, one commenter noted that she sounded almost apologetic. Actually — it was me who, in the edit process, asked Kate to beef up the story to ensure she showed gratitude for the old bathroom and the service that it had provided. This is something that grew on me and my focus over time. One thing that I *think* I have learned in the five years of doing the blog, is that in postwar America, people were immensely grateful to be able to build and buy the houses we are now in. I won’t belabor the point, but most Americans had diddly squat until after World War II. Like, a huge percentage did not have indoor plumbing. So my takeaway is: Who are we to think the bathrooms or kitchens or knotty pine living rooms that they so gratefully built and raised their families in are *fill in the blank with a mean-minded adjective”? Really. I never knew anyone who went out of their way to design an u*** room — the folks who installed these rooms thought that their new/now old (bathroom, kitchen, etc.) was beautiful. And in the day it probably was! Au courant! But, au courant changes… Usually because marketers want to dis-satisfy us with what we have…. They want us to rip out what they sold us 50 years or 30 years or 10 years ago…. and buy their new and improved look…. which becomes *dated* soon enough…. and the ridiculous cycle starts all over again. Be cognizant of the manipulation — and you can break the cycle in your own life and spend less time and less money chasing the fleeting fashion dream.
Did you know that gratitude is the #1 attribute of happy people? Be grateful for that bathroom, even if — and maybe especially if — you decide it is time to remodel.
But am against gut remodeling? NO. I gut remodeled my three bathrooms and my kitchen. I don’t want to go into great detail to defend my decision — because we don’t need to defend our decisions. Suffice to say, I think I was true to my beliefs on this one — I always compliment the 1970s kitchen that we replaced — it was really nicely done given the styles then — really! And, I really liked the multicolor bathrooms and would surely have kept them if they had been in better shape. In each case — with both the kitchen and the bathrooms — I surely did not like having to spend all that money to gut remodel, and the whole process was very stressful.
On Kate’s story, Brian T. asked this question:
Pam has started her list of things that are definitely valuable to a Retro Renovator. How about a list of things that no one needs to feel guilty about tossing, even though they’re “vintage”? Item #1: Plastic tile! I just got rid of it in a bathroom I gutted — there was no question of trying to work with it. It seem like “mauve” might make the list for some reason, along with “things that smell” and “things that will never look clean.” Pam, you’ve instilled a sort of moral code about “thou shalt not assume pink bathrooms are too dated to live with”; can you start up a list of “thou shalt not beat thyself up for throwing out ____”?
The Retro Renovator’s Creed:
Thou shalt not beat thyself up for throwing out… features (yes, original bathrooms and kitchens, included) that you have lived with for a while, sought to understand (rather than just h*** in a knee-jerk way), decide just aren’t for you, and which you can afford to change without adding to the family into debt in a way that will stress you out. (Test: If you only paid cash, and you had saved up all the money, would you really use all the cash for this project?)
>If it’s broken beyond repair… or if repairing it would cost more than buying a comparable new replacement… do what you gotta do.>If technology has improved and a new product available today delivers important or useful new benefits — and especially if they relate to safety or energy and the environment… sure, swap it out.>
If you need to reconfigure the space to accommodate your needs and to lively happily there… yes, of course, make the house your own.>This is your house — make it the place you love. But: Let the old stuff go with respect for the service it has provided the generations before — no evil-glee sledgehammering. Remember, that bathroom/kitchen/etc. was someone’s pride and joy once — they raised their families there — they loved that room. Respect their decisions, don’t deride them. See: The Golden Rule. Most everyone I talk today bemoans the “loss of civility” in discourse today; let’s take the high road and be civil about how we treat and talk about the rooms that came before us.
>
Send still-functional materials to the Re-Store, if you really think someone else will want them.
>And of course, prioritize renovations that address identified safety and environmental issues — and when you renovate, engage properly licensed professionals and Renovate Safe.
My blog is my happy place. Hateful angry words distress me. They are usually not required — really: *Hate* a room color? I have said before, Let’s save our hate and the call-to-action it engenders for [fill in the blank, choose social/political issues that you really care about] that lead to real human suffering (rather than the suffering that comes from having to bathe in a pastel-colored bathroom, for example). So I don’t allow these words in comments on the blog: Hate, Ugly, Hideous, Dated. Please try not to use them, I will edit the word with asterisks. Most regular readers know my feelings and approach to this — and they’ve told me they appreciate it… that it is part of what has made this a supportive community. On a regular basis, this whole h***, etc. issue is not a very big issue on the blog. It usually comes up only when I start the rant. Then others jump right in to play. I totally understand. So, in a goodly number of cases, I’ll take the pin!
So: What if you don’t really like something on the blog and want to offer a critical comment? (1) If it’s simply a product that I have posted, say, something from the Crate & Barrel website, hey, no problem, say why you don’t like it and why and offer an alternative. Be nice about it, of course. BUT (2), if it’s a reader’s home, well, you know the answer already. This is a supportive site. Find something to like and comment on that and move on. Honestly, this is not much of an issue on this site, I can only think of two or three times I did not approve a nasty comment, and they were from passers-by, not regulars. I am writing this only to be complete.
What if you have “advice” for a reader and their room? A “rule” I read on this recently: Don’t offer advice unless someone has agreed you may offer it. As in, a made-up example: Mary has shared a shot of her living room so that we can see her Heywood Wakefield collection. There is no talk of wall color. You think you have a great idea. Before just spitting it out, you need to ask, “Wow, that room is really beautiful. May I offer you some ideas about a wall color that might make that whole Heywood Wakefield set pop even more?” If Mary responds saying, “Sure, I’d love to hear!,” you are good to go. But maybe she will say, “We just painted the room this color last week, and we are really happy with it.” Which means oopsy, shut yer trap. Or maybe she won’t answer at all. Which means…. yup, shut yer trap. Bottom line: If you ask permission to give advice, and the recipient says yes, the recipient is more … receptive. This is the civil way to do it. Mea culpa: On Kate’s post about her bathroom room layout, she didn’t ask for my help — and I didn’t ask permission. Yet, I jumped right in to offer advice. This was not the “right” way to do it. She gets mega props for responding with grace. (Next time, I will have her make her closing point in the blog post, “What do you think of my layout, readers?” haha)
Hey, the other thing I want to bring up is how we talk about other homeowners who choose current decorating styles. On this point, I also want to encourage civility… and I may start editing comments accordingly. Yes, folks continue to put in granite countertops etc. etc. etc. in droves. This does not make them bad people. I think about how to talk about this a lot, and here is what I have come up with:
I think that a lot of folks have only limited interest in decorating. They will buy what’s current. And move on. And that’s okay. They have other passions, other interests… whereas we are nutso passionate and highly visual and way way way into decor.
HEY: The folks who built and furnished our groovy mid mods also were most likely only interested in their decor up to a point. THEY bought what was CURRENT, too. I even have vintage marketing material — training for a steel kitchen cabinets salesman — instructing him that the first job he had, during a customer consultation, was to “dis-satisfy her with her kitchen.” This was like 1948! 50 or 60 years later, we are left with their desire for “the latest and greatest.”
I guess what I’m saying is: So, let’s be sure we are civil, too, about all other folks and their decorating choices. This means that even I will need to stop dropping “Save the Pink Bathroom” bombs on other blogs that continue to show decimated pink bathrooms, I’m pretty sure it’s not winning any converts, just annoying folks who are trying to do their best. I will revert to the approach I started out with: Show don’t tell. Does that make sense?
4. Is it hypocritical of me to rant, given the policies I’ve just outlined?
Yes, guilty. It’s easier to catch a bear with honey. Or is it, bees to honey? Whenever I rant — which I usually try to focus on marketeers, certainly not individuals — I always get lots of positive feedback from readers. Go, Pam, go! But I also almost always end up offending a few (maybe more), too — because this ain’t a real conversation where you can really explain yourself and talk things through, it’s writing, and sometimes it comes out …. wrong…. or harsher than you mean it to. I don’t want to offend. I want to make this a place where people feel good about and encouraged in their decisions to make a home they love — usually in a way that’s “the road less traveled”. So I recommit to trying to moderate my rants in the future. I think I can still make my points: By showing, not telling, and when I must opine — with civility.
Dawn says
I absolutely love my house. Like, I am IN love with my house. To the point that most of my friends and family think I have lost a few marbles.
I have a great love and respect for her and the families she has served.
Built in 1959 I researched and feel I know BOTH previous owners. The original was the builder. And he indeed built a solid fine house. 7 years later he sold it to his daughters mother in law. Still in the family!
I bought the home from Miss Jean. This is what I call her. I absolutely feel she is in every corner of this house. She owned this house for 52 years. She LOVED this house. Her husband and she bought this house when he returned from the war. He had polio. And he died in this house in 1988. She lived here alone in the house she loved without her husband. By all accounts she was feisty and fiercely independent. I love this. For I am the same way! She was forced out of this house due to old age and Alzheimers. And it was so much a part of her that one year later, she passed away and her funeral procession went by the house.
In my heart, this will always be mine AND Miss Jeans house. I share it with her willingly and with love. I have updated it slightly. Always thinking to myself “I hope Miss Jean likes this!”. I ripped up her carpets. And I felt bad. But I also asked her forgiveness.
Carpets do not fit my two dog and one cat lifestyle. Miss Jean is probably cringing up there thinking of my dogs in her house. LOL.
After living here a year I feel good. My house is a mix of old and new. Because that’s who I am too. Jean was the old. I am the new. And I don’t think there is one thing wrong about blending our two lives and styles.
The point of this rambling mess is this. It IS my house and I can and will do what makes ME happy, but part of what makes me happy is thinking about what Miss Jean liked and what would make HER happy. I honor her because she honored this house.
This year on the one year anniversary of her death, I took a clipping from her rose bush out to her grave site. When I first moved here I started hacking away at the darn thing because I didn’t know what it was and it was horribly over grown. My neighbor came over to tell me to stop. She said that gets BEAUTIFUL in the spring!
She is right. It does. Its over grown. It sits to close now to the driveway so we cant park there. But, well, Miss Jean planted it God knows how long ago, and its absolutely gorgeous in full bloom.
What I once hated I have now grown to love…
pam kueber says
What a lovely story. 🙂
Paul M says
I did the same thing with some plants at my house! Started hacking away and pulled half them out in the 1st spring – to later find out (from the half I left) that they *were* a nice row of lilac trees/bushes. Made me about slap my own self upside the head for not waiting to see what they actually were! They would have provided a nice natural privacy screen from the neighbor behind me, but I went hog-wild to replace what looked like scraggly, decrepit trees with nicer & fuller bushes to block the neighbor (which looked like a 1/5-acre junkyard!)
Joan Massey says
Hey Pam;
By the look of the number of responses you received on just this one article you need 10 assistants. LOL
I was trying to explain to a friend that if she is going to do some re-decorating in her main floor bathroom prior to selling her home that it should be done while respecting the time period in which the home was built. So now I can just send her your article. Thanks Joan aka 1958Vintage
Kimberly Lindbergs says
I love your rants, Pam! But you’re preaching to the converted when it comes to me so I suppose I have my own biases. With so many other sites, blogs, etc. devoted to gutting old homes and remodeling what they consider to be “outdated” fixtures and fittings while giving very little thoughts to the wasted materials (and money), Retro Renovation is a much needed breath of fresh air. Your perspective is needed and appreciated.
Brian T says
When we bought our 1954 house last year, we had visions of replacing the kitchen countertops. But we lived with them while tackling other projects, and now I think I must have been crazy not to love the originals: They’re vintage gray cracked-ice formica! The problem was that the kitchen had no lighting other than a bulb over the sink and a fluorescent-tube ceiling fixture. Now that we had improved those and added a range hood and under-cabinet LEDs, the formica looks clean, bright and sparkly, not drab and dingy. So I can testify to the “live with it for a while” idea. Saved me much money and regret.
Pam says: “Send still-functional materials to the Re-Store, if you really think someone else will want them.” The ReStore sells a lot of things I think nobody could possibly want, so that last part of the advice doesn’t work for me. I give them anything that works. We just dropped off the front porch light fixture (which dangled so low we would scrape our heads on it), thinking “Here’s $3 in future ReStore profits,” and they priced it at $65!
I’m still wondering when I will see a room that’s a great use of plastic tile, but in tribute to Pam’s work, thoughtfulness and optimistic spirit, I’ll agree to believe that such a room is just around the corner.
Lauryn says
Probably the single most important message I have gotten from this blog is “love the house you’re in”, which ties in perfectly with the idea of gratitude. (I truly believe if everyone lived with an abundance of gratitude and the ability to forgive — themselves, as well as others — the world would be a much different place. But I digress.) When we bought our home we were so set on finding a Craftsman. Instead we ended up in a modest 1939 minimal traditional home and while I loved it, for the first few years I would often find myself pining away for the Craftsman we didn’t have. But when we decided to re-do the kitchen and I started researching the era of our home, I became more and more enchanted with the minimal traditionalist homes and what makes them unique. The more I learn, the more I love my house, and the more committed we are to staying here. After all, the first owner (we’re #4) lived here for nearly 50 years. We see no reason not to be here just as long and every day we are so grateful to live in such a charming, lovely home. We really and truly have come to love the house we’re in.
pam kueber says
Lovely message, Lauryn, thank you!
Ally Cat says
Thanks everyone for such considerate thoughts. I am a habitual reader of this blog, and post here and there. I think blogs are fantastic ways to share ideas and make connections, but they can lend themselves to an outpouring of opinion that at a certain point gets muddled. Like “one to many martini” conversations.
And although I like martini’s, we all need the real protein of good, helpful ideas and resources. I think the creed is timely, because it just reminds us of what we are about. When it comes to the market, and what new companies are doing, we shouldn’t expect them to get it right…they want to get it sold. That’s their business. Our business is to separate the good from the not-so-good, and take joy in our own process. For me, one of the largest challenges many of us face as Mid-century owners is lack of storage, and nada feng-shui, whether it’s from remuddling or not. As we preserve and/or update, many are solving these problems creatively. Those are gold nuggets that the rest of us could benefit from, and this site allows the sharing of those ideas… I’d say RR is saving many a project!
Now when I redo my damp bathroom I may use new products (cause there are many out there that I like) and get rid of some original fixtures due to their ratty current state. I really appreciate that I can take all the leeway I need to create my new, functional space without feeling like I have to confess my guilt because I didn’t do it by the retro book. I think my natural style of “modern old lady” will shine through, since no matter what I do I end up there. Thanks everyone for lightening the judge-y load and loving the essence of mid-century design!
Robyn says
Pam, once again, you have invoked a great deal of self evaluation in my thinking and approach to things. I’ve been “blessed/cursed” with a bit too much blatant “tell it like it is” from dearly beloved family members, and after awhile I find myself having to go back and re-think much of what I say and how it might come across. I am a person who is very deeply set into the things that appeal to me or repulse me and it’s still hard to suppress the involuntary shudders when I see certain colors or even period styles (especially modern ones) but I do try my level best to smile and find something nice to say about something else in the room. I agree wholeheartedly with those who believe in replacing functioning vintage pieces with things that work well for them, but still trying hard to donate or resell the older things to others who might have been looking long and hard for that very thing. I am sure most of us on here have been fortunate at one time or another to be the benefactor of someone else’s repulsion to the styles we love and seek out. How many times have I gotten something 50’s and the person who gives/sells it to me, says negative things about it, (that I would have said about something perhaps 1980s or newer). I didn’t mind because I was the happy camper lugging it home and usually for a give-a-way price. I was actually glad when I would buy a flawless set of Melmac dinnerware and have the former owners tell me it was never used because they h***d eating off plastic because it was so “tacky”. There is a time and a place for brutal honesty and the point has been well made here that it is never the time or place when you are dealing with the taste or preferences of someone you aren’t cozy chummy with. The one thing that I’m not sure I will ever be able to refrain from using the h*** word about is when I find that someone has heartlessly destroyed something Mid Century Modern or Modest, that is more rare or one-of-a-kind that cannot be replaced, such as a perfectly good, custom built, (perhaps famous architect designed) home, only to replace it with a McM***** (that could have easily been built on a vacant lot elsewhere). Once it’s gone, it’s gone forever, and so many of the people who do that sort of thing (at least in my area) never give us retro folks a chance to salvage the vintage, original items before the bulldozers come and mash it all to a pulp. True, it’s a free country, and everyone should have the house they can afford and want to be in, but it does cause a sick roll in my stomach when beautiful, time capsule homes are rampantly destroyed as callously as the bathroom was in the ad. I am SO glad that all the people on this site are more sensitive in such matters, and I can never thank Pam enough for giving us all this forum in which to share our love and appreciation for vintage homes and furnishings.
Lisa says
Remodeler piping in here.
We flip houses. It kills me to tear out some of the things to rehab a home. But things must be updated in order to sell a house. Like most of you, I love vintage. Love it!
I do take great pride in salvaging everything I can and it saves investors a good chunk of money and it is earth friendly. Instead of tear out and replacement, I refinish tubs, tiles, and countertops. I do not use over the counter products. The products I use are tested and durable. While refinishing can update the colors of tiles, etc… refinishing can also be used to take your kitchen or bath back to an era of your choice.
Many homeowners are just unaware of the options available to them.
How many people realize that their 1980s kitchen cabinets will look new again simply by cleaning them, applying a new coat of polyurethane and new hardware?
Because of the tear outs we do, my kitchen received a vintage 1940s set of cabinets that I love. And many of my online and booth customers were able to purchase switchplate covers, light fixtures, drawer pulls, sinks, etc…. Anything I can keep in circulation I do. Have some 1960 awnings sitting in the back yard right now because I would rather see someone put them to use rather than the scrap them.
We all have to do whatever it takes to make a house ‘our’ home. But don’t be afraid to seek your options. Especially if you are on a tight budget.
I read your original Lowes Post. Don’t sweat it. I enjoyed the post and understood where you were coming from. And I did not feel that it was anything negative. It was a personal opinion from a woman who runs the biggest vintage rehab site on the net. Therefore I would have expected nothing else.
Just keep on doing what you do.
Rita@thissortaoldlife says
Pam, I so appreciate your post and the thoughtful comment thread that follows. In January we began a pretty-much gut job of our 70’s bathroom, which was likely updated in the 90s. It began with trying to fix a small tile problem, but it quickly turned into knocking down all the tile, which lead to…everything. While we liked the idea of restoring it to its 70s roots, we’ve found that we don’t really have the resources to do so. We’ve used almost all salvaged materials/items, but not all from the 70s. We’ve used what we can find and afford. We’ve had a lot of discussions about our choices and how others might regard them when it’s time to sell the house. We know some people will think we were crazy and/or have horrible taste. The bottom line we’re landing on is to make choices that we’re going to like when we’re done, and to make choices that are in line with our values (about money and waste, primarily). We’ve decided we aren’t purist retro renovators, much as we would like to be. I think we’ll continue to think about these questions as we continue to work with our home. Glad to know we can keep coming here to have our thinking stretched and challenged.
Jeffrey from Village Green says
Of course we’re all upset to different degrees. But none of us likes the Lowe’s add. We all agree we should try and save the pink bathrooms, not destroy them. And saving also means taking things out for others to use. Great rant, Pam !