Here is a good one to end the week: Reader “A” (I cloaked her name and state) wrote recently to ask for help in responding to what she called “social backlash” — negative reactions from people in her social sphere who can’t comprehend her passion for mid century design. What shall we advise her, fellow Retro Renovators? Read on for her tale….
“A” writes”
Pam,
I’m new to your blog, and I absolutely love it, but if I’m asking something you have touched on a million times I apologize. I made an attempt to search, but came up with nothing.
I’m at a bit of a low point right now, and I’d love some reassurance or commiseration of any sort — or hey– even a reality check!
I’m just starting down the road into retroville– truthfully I’ve loved it all for a long time but wasn’t brave enough to really commit until I lived in California and realized there were a lot of people who loved the mid 20th century as much as I did.
I have recently moved back to my hometown area in [state] and have begun searching for a mid century modern home to buy with my husband and kids, and along the way I am thrifting and searching for “old” furniture from the same time period.
My question to you is, do you ever get bogged down by people’s negative reaction to what you are doing or did? And secondly, was it all worth it in the end?
I love my midcentury things, but I am swiftly becoming tired of having to defend my taste to everyone I come in contact with. My husband is sweet and patient with me, but I think he wishes I’d give it up. My kids are nervous about “living in the 60’s” as they put it, and everyone else falls somewhere between thinking I’m crazy to acting genuinely threatened and angry with me for trying to resurrect the past.
I’m honestly shocked, why are people threatened by different design tastes? Have you ever had these types of experiences?
I keep telling myself that when it all comes together it will be so great and it will be all worth it, but sometimes I feel like it would be easier to give it all up.
Isn’t it strange how strongly people react to retro things?
Thanks at the very least for letting me sob on your cyber shoulder, its nice to come here and be with people with like minds.
“A”
“A”, my first thought, when I read your letter, was that I’d tell these rude people, Bite Me. Hence, the always-but-really-probably-never-appropriate Anne Taintor caption. (Better, I think, to take the high road… much as it would feel good [for a moment] to dish it right back.)
Seriously, I do have a way that I would recommend responding. But I will hold back and let the tribe offer up their thoughts and advice first.
metalcabinetsdontburn says
Well. Only one person says negative things about my taste. But then, I went to her house! I am soooo glad she doesn’t agree with my taste. I would feel very worried after seeing her choices. That bad. 🙂
Shara says
HAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! This is hilarious. You so made my night thank you.
Kyle Supley says
Hi I just wanted to chime on to say that I am a 32 year old NYC resident who has been collecting and living with Mid Century and Kitsch designs since I was around 12 years old. I love the playfulness and desire for a better future through technology that the mid century provided. And these days we could use some playful hope for a better future if you ask me. I say the best you can do is do what I’ve done and share you passion for it, give good reasons as to why you love it and your passion should carry the naysayers to your side. And if it doesn’t, move on. There’s always people like Allee Willis in LA that will embrace you. Check out her online kitsch museum. She is the best!
Jaimie says
Honestly, who cares what they think? If they are so rude as to insult your personal style, maybe you shouldn’t be talking to them. MCM is pretty trendy right now in my area, but I genuinely love it because I love it. I’m actually hoping it falls off the trendy bandwagon soon so my thrifting will be more affordable. I’ve never had anyone tell me that they didn’t like my stuff, but even if they don’t, I wouldn’t care. *I* like it. If you like it, go for it. If your husband doesn’t care, all the more reason. As for your kids, well I suffered through my mother’s taste no worse for wear (she actually doesn’t have terrible taste in decor, it’s just not at all my taste). You’re paying for the roof over their heads, so they can suck it up. Be honest with yourself and genuine in what you love, and you will be happy.
Sharon Haas says
OMG! I thought it was just me that had to deal with this negativity! One friend actually said “I wouldn’t have that thing in my house” when I showed her my cool new 1950’s tube radio. Honestly, I couldn’t even respond.
Justin says
1950’s radio? Would like to see a picture of it. Does it work? I have a collection of 1920’s to 1960’s radios and 1940’s to 1960’s TV sets. Some people like the sets, and some people don’t. Either way, they are mine, and if other people don’t like it, thats on them.
John K says
Justin..that is great! I have a 1963 Zenith console color TV set (to which I discreetly added a hidden DVD hookup and the player is not in sight. This allows me to watch any of my favorite 1960s TV shows on DVD on my beautiful 1963 Zenith color TV) It only plays DVDS now as analog broadcast TV went away in 2007 unless you add a converter box but I’m happy just watching my hundreds of DVDS. To see a GREAT collection of 1950s and 60s Zenith, RCA and GE color TV sets, radios and stereo phonographs watch my friend Doug’s YouTube channel at drh4683. He owns nearly 100 beautiful 1950s and 60s color TV sets, one is still in the original 1960s Zenith box made in the USA and has never been used. He never sells any of the sets in his collection but he has many YouTube videos to show people how to restore vintage USA made TV sets and it is really enjoyable to watch him take you through the step by step procedures he uses to make his old TV sets better than any flat screen junk new on the market these days.
Justin says
John: That is awesome. I have a dvd, vcr, and laserdisc player in one area of the house, out of sight, and they all transmit to any of the tv sets in the house. (Had to rewire the house when we purchased it, and was able to wire it to be able to transmit from one location the the rest of the house).
I would love to see your friend’s collection. I will have to look him up on Youtube later this afternoon.
I don’t have nearly 100 tv sets (My partner would kill me). I do have about 30 tv abut do have about 150 radios. Oldest tv is from 1947 and oldest radio is 1926.
Terri says
Seriously, what I tell anyone who thinks they have the right to question my design style is that I think it is important to stay true to the bones of my 1950 Ranch/Cape Cod mishmash (a story for another blog). I wouldn’t put mid-mod in a Victorian and I’m not about to put contemporary or omg country in my mid-mod.
I also point out my pristine Swedish Modern living room set that I paid $15 for at auction along with my fab blonde bedroom set for $35. Then I tell them that if they come across anything, I might be interested in it.
And if anyone tries to tell me that granite counters would just be divine in my knotty pine kitchen, I say NO. If they repeat, so do I – NO. And if anyone gets ugly about it, then they get the “bite me.”
But honestly, most are either jealous, enthusiastic, indulgent, or at least curious about my mid-mod aesthetic.
Terri
Janet in Kansas says
Living in the reatively conservative Midwest, I’m sometimes faced with this sort of attitude myself – perhaps not so much in the form of comments, more like the occasional raised eyebrow or the “You want to do WHAT?” kind of look. I know I’m probably horrid, but I like to make people like that squirm, so I just give answers like, “I know it sounds crazy, but brand new furniture and remodeling are SO expensive, and with the money we’re saving we’ll be able to…”, and then insert an imaginary – but important! – cause (put our 17 kids through college, sponsor a beached whale, buy groceries every day instead of just every other day, pay for that kidney transplant our cat needs, fund programs designed to combat rude remarks, etc.). That oughtta take some of the wind out of their sails.
pam kueber says
🙂
John K says
Oh wow! I LOVE this topic. Actually 2 topics! Age…well, speaking for myself, I love being in my 50s (I am soon to turn 55). I have great memories of growing up in the 1960s in a great split level suburban house that my parents built and furnished in 1963. I loved the style then and I still love it today. My entire house is 1960s right down to the olive green, spring yellow and tawny beige Bell System Touch Tone telephones (which were built to work forever and they are much nicer to look at than any cell phone). Do I consider myself an Olds? No, I consider myself lucky to be aging in good health, having the wisdom of all my years and able to support my family and enjoy our nice home. An Olds is not a person anyway, it’s a car (Oldsmobile)!
I have been a victim of “vintage trashing” comments for years and years and I usually just do not respond to my critics. Not so much as about twenty years ago when people called me everything from eccentric to cheap (because I sought good condition vintage everything). Funny though, I am the winner because twenty years ago when it wasn’t cool to collect and use vintage items, people who had them gave them away to me for free! So I rarely spent a dime to furnish my home with a lot of great 1960s furniture, appliances, etc.
Amy Dietz says
Responses to comments on our modest ’60s MCM home:
“It leaves room in our budget for travel (or insert hobby here). We kept the remodeling to a minimum, because we like the retro style.”
No friend of ours would make negative comments on our style. If they did, these rude individuals wouldn’t be our friends for long.
Sometimes family members do, they want to see us ‘live well.’ I get that, I really do. In our sixth year of slowly making improvements to the house, we get some comments to ‘just get a loan and finish it.’ No thanks. There’s no time limit to our masterpiece.
I have an acquaintance who went to a big box store and furnished her whole house on credit. She has a great job that she loves, and I honestly even like the things she chose. To her credit, she had no harsh words for me when my family room sat empty for two years (I was on the hunt for something retro specific).
Let’s all support one another and understand that there’s no criticism implied when we take another approach.
Jessica says
While we haven’t gotten the flat out rude comments about our MCM style, it’s clear that some some people just don’t get it. Our former real estate agent was beyond perplexed at our old yellow & aqua kitchen and thought our vintage Bertoia diamond chair was yard furniture! (lol). We probably should have been generous and explained things to her, but we just kind of smirked and had a nice laugh after she left. That’s my advice–have confidence in your aesthetic design choices and never feel the need to defend them. When people say rude things, just shrug and respond with something breezy like, “It’s not for everyone, you know.” You get it, they don’t; it’s their loss.
Roseana says
Sounds like you got too many people up in your business. “This makes me feel really happy,” is all — and maybe more than — you need to say.