Here is a good one to end the week: Reader “A” (I cloaked her name and state) wrote recently to ask for help in responding to what she called “social backlash” — negative reactions from people in her social sphere who can’t comprehend her passion for mid century design. What shall we advise her, fellow Retro Renovators? Read on for her tale….
“A” writes”
Pam,
I’m new to your blog, and I absolutely love it, but if I’m asking something you have touched on a million times I apologize. I made an attempt to search, but came up with nothing.
I’m at a bit of a low point right now, and I’d love some reassurance or commiseration of any sort — or hey– even a reality check!
I’m just starting down the road into retroville– truthfully I’ve loved it all for a long time but wasn’t brave enough to really commit until I lived in California and realized there were a lot of people who loved the mid 20th century as much as I did.
I have recently moved back to my hometown area in [state] and have begun searching for a mid century modern home to buy with my husband and kids, and along the way I am thrifting and searching for “old” furniture from the same time period.
My question to you is, do you ever get bogged down by people’s negative reaction to what you are doing or did? And secondly, was it all worth it in the end?
I love my midcentury things, but I am swiftly becoming tired of having to defend my taste to everyone I come in contact with. My husband is sweet and patient with me, but I think he wishes I’d give it up. My kids are nervous about “living in the 60’s” as they put it, and everyone else falls somewhere between thinking I’m crazy to acting genuinely threatened and angry with me for trying to resurrect the past.
I’m honestly shocked, why are people threatened by different design tastes? Have you ever had these types of experiences?
I keep telling myself that when it all comes together it will be so great and it will be all worth it, but sometimes I feel like it would be easier to give it all up.
Isn’t it strange how strongly people react to retro things?
Thanks at the very least for letting me sob on your cyber shoulder, its nice to come here and be with people with like minds.
“A”
“A”, my first thought, when I read your letter, was that I’d tell these rude people, Bite Me. Hence, the always-but-really-probably-never-appropriate Anne Taintor caption. (Better, I think, to take the high road… much as it would feel good [for a moment] to dish it right back.)
Seriously, I do have a way that I would recommend responding. But I will hold back and let the tribe offer up their thoughts and advice first.
Brenda Reamy says
I simply say ‘welcome to my humble abode. I embrace my ‘mid-century design’ rather than fight it. Newly manufactured furniture is not scaled to fit in a 1959 Florida home…it is all too big. Mid Century furniture fits like it was made for it—because it was! 🙂
Meghan says
My husband doesn’t “get” it either. When I lived in a late 19th century home, I learned everything I could about late 19th century houses and furniture. Now I live in a late 1960s home and I’m doing the same, and I keep getting things from him like… “Do I get to be a 1960s husband? Scotch, cigars, and dinner on the table?”
But once things come together his attitude completely changes. You have a vision and your family… don’t. But once you start to bring it all together and they see where it’s going, it’s completely possible they’ll be more on board. And I suggest you subscribe to a couple of upscale catalogs that are making imitations of our favorite mid-century styles at distinctly NON modest prices, and leave them strategically open for your husband. If seeing your vision doesn’t bring him around, the sticker shock might.
Marsha says
I think I would consider channeling Cyrano de Bergerac if someone had the bad judgment to say mean things about my decor.
“What? Surrounded by such a melange of style and color choices, the only insult you can devise is to say it looks ‘outdated’? ”
And then I’d come with ten insults of my own about modern trends. They would be multisyllabic.
Shara says
I forgot to mention something in my previous comment. As for your son, buy an MCM bar that his friends can sit at and drink pop/soda and he will leave you alone. Worked in my house.
Shara says
I live in Iowa and I completely understand where you are coming from. I am an avid Mid Century hound. I visit the local, and not so local, thrift stores at least once a week. Ok, a lot more then once a week, I go so much that all the employees know me. I have been collecting since I was 10 and people outside my close family just don’t get it. I have never had people be rude, but I have had funny looks and rolling eyes. But I don’t care, I come home to sit on the 1960’s Flexsteel coach and eat in my 50’s red diner style kitchen and I am happy. I say don’t let them get to you. Their will always be people that don’t like what others do. It is your choice to let them stop you and if you truly love MCM the just roll your eyes back at them and move on.
Kay J says
My big brother just found a pink toilet to match his pink bathroom and he was delighted. We love his retro-house, and his friends are amazed at the quality craftmanship. I agree with those who would point that out to the naysayers, but I’d also tell them I just happen to like the style and am trying to decorate it tastefully and appropriately.
KM says
Well, Reader A, you may or may not find this comforting, but that phenomenon is not restricted to MCM. Early on in the reno of my Victorian house, I had an original clawfoot tub that had been (thankfully) stored in the garage when it was removed from the house. I had it on a dolly in the front yard to do the cleanup and exterior painting. One of my older neighbors walked by and exclaimed “Oh, good, you’re taking those awful things out of the house!” I replied, no, actually I was restoring this one to put back in and she, shocked, said “Why the hell would you do that!?”
Allison says
That is too funny! That does make me feel better 😉
Stacy in AL says
Maybe this comes from growing up in Alabama, but I hesitate to say anything rude. In this case, I would nod and look understanding and say “Bless your heart, you don’t understand it, do you?” If they say anything else, stick with it, looking sympathetic.
Just another Pam says
You made me laugh, Stacy! I only lived in the south for a year of my life but it doesn’t take long to learn that “Well, bless your heart” in some circumstances isn’t that different than….bite me, or worse. ;0)
After I typed the above I went and did a search….if it doesn’t work you can get hints from the link on how to search it yourself.
http://www.heatherrainier.com/blog/2013/03/10/the-art-of-bless-your-heart/#
Ellen says
It seems like some people are: a) just impolite and b) unable to understand that taste is definitely subjective–it’s definitely not an issue of “right” and “wrong” even though we all have preferences. If you really like a certain style, and it makes you happy, then “go for it.” The up-side to all of this is that if you live somewhere where mid-century modern isn’t totally “hot,” prices won’t be so steep. Have fun collecting and decorating.
couldbeveronica says
Hey, I was so busy explaining that I’m not old, I forgot to respond to A’s experience! My advice would be to look the nasty person in the eye and bluntly speak the truth–“That was a very rude thing to say to me.” And just let it hang there. My daughter is on the autism spectrum–very high functioning, very articulate, very loud, and absolutely without tact. Almost everyday I watch her make people squirm by innocently speaking the truth at the top of her shrill little lungs. She’s taught me that nothing makes people more uncomfortable than honesty. And if you run across a sociopath who is incapable of being shamed by hearing the truth about him- or herself, “Bite me” is definitely the way to go.