Here is a good one to end the week: Reader “A” (I cloaked her name and state) wrote recently to ask for help in responding to what she called “social backlash” — negative reactions from people in her social sphere who can’t comprehend her passion for mid century design. What shall we advise her, fellow Retro Renovators? Read on for her tale….
“A” writes”
Pam,
I’m new to your blog, and I absolutely love it, but if I’m asking something you have touched on a million times I apologize. I made an attempt to search, but came up with nothing.
I’m at a bit of a low point right now, and I’d love some reassurance or commiseration of any sort — or hey– even a reality check!
I’m just starting down the road into retroville– truthfully I’ve loved it all for a long time but wasn’t brave enough to really commit until I lived in California and realized there were a lot of people who loved the mid 20th century as much as I did.
I have recently moved back to my hometown area in [state] and have begun searching for a mid century modern home to buy with my husband and kids, and along the way I am thrifting and searching for “old” furniture from the same time period.
My question to you is, do you ever get bogged down by people’s negative reaction to what you are doing or did? And secondly, was it all worth it in the end?
I love my midcentury things, but I am swiftly becoming tired of having to defend my taste to everyone I come in contact with. My husband is sweet and patient with me, but I think he wishes I’d give it up. My kids are nervous about “living in the 60’s” as they put it, and everyone else falls somewhere between thinking I’m crazy to acting genuinely threatened and angry with me for trying to resurrect the past.
I’m honestly shocked, why are people threatened by different design tastes? Have you ever had these types of experiences?
I keep telling myself that when it all comes together it will be so great and it will be all worth it, but sometimes I feel like it would be easier to give it all up.
Isn’t it strange how strongly people react to retro things?
Thanks at the very least for letting me sob on your cyber shoulder, its nice to come here and be with people with like minds.
“A”
“A”, my first thought, when I read your letter, was that I’d tell these rude people, Bite Me. Hence, the always-but-really-probably-never-appropriate Anne Taintor caption. (Better, I think, to take the high road… much as it would feel good [for a moment] to dish it right back.)
Seriously, I do have a way that I would recommend responding. But I will hold back and let the tribe offer up their thoughts and advice first.
Leila says
I’ve been reading many of these posts and I’m embarrassed to say that a few of them made me tear up……because I see myself in so many of these comments. I am sooo passionate about this stuff. I go out on the hunt every weekend…alone. I don’t care that others don’t share my passion and would never devote the time or energy to run around town like I do. But it makes me happy and is a great outlet to unwind. I teach high school in an inner city, and I don’t think I have to tell you how hard it is. I hear and see things at work that most could not imagine. Hunting for vintage decor is a fun distraction. I’ve been doing it since my Mother brought home a vintage vanity for me from an estate sale when I was around 18. I loved it …and I was hooked. That was over 35 years ago.
Many of my friends are consumed with passions that I have no interest in at all. So I don’t mind if they don’t share mine.
Obsessed? Maybe…but I follow what makes me happy, and heaven help you if you ever get in my way 🙂
Justin says
I want to thank you for teaching kids in the “not so nice areas”. I work in a prison and I wouldn’t want your job. I’m glad that there are people out there like you, who do.
P.S. I think we could probably swap some interesting stories.
Scott says
If you think creatively enough about “your story” you can have any era furniture in any house. For instance my house was built in 1954 so my story goes like this…
The kitchen is mostly original as kitchens are expensive to update. It still has the original wood cabinets, dinette, chairs, and ceiling fixture. I remember picking out most of the living room furniture in 1961 right after trading in the Studebaker for the Thunderbird. Then in 1965 all new Broyhill bedroom furniture followed by a big splurge for the Zenith Console in 1968. As a few of the older lamps wore out I had to pick up a few new ones in the late sixties with that amber one in the bedroom being the newest from 1972. And I haven’t bought a thing since.
If you tell it often enough people will be swallowing it hook, line, and sinker until finally they go “WAIT A MINUTE you couldn’t have possibly bought that house in 1954!” or whatever year your house happens to be. And yes, I’ll admit, half the fun in telling this story is the built-in age compliment you get when the light finally goes on for your victim. 🙂
KM says
Scott- that is pure GENIUS!
Annie B says
I subcribe to the “don’t complain; don’t explain” school of thought, for the most part, when it comes to style choices, but…..
Please forgive my speaking so plainly, but I feel that there are too many of us out there who, lacking the imagination and courage to move beyond the current trends, would rather criticize and cast aspersions on the design choices of others, especially anything MCM or retro.
What makes us do this? Is it the warmth and fuziness we get from comformity, is jealousy of anyone daring to be different, is it that we just know so little that we can be led to anything by anyone as long as most of us are along for the ride? Human nature.
If anyone truly presses me for an explanation of my “curious sense of style”, I reply merely that I love what I love.
Thanks for the soapbox moment. No harm or ill will intended..
Suzanne says
I thought I would put in my 2 cents. When I moved into my MCM fixer-upper, I had lots of dear ones come in and advise me to knock out the wall between the living room and kitchen. You know, give it that open look that’s so popular now. I just look at them and say…and get rid of my fabulous pocket door? Are you nuts? I just tell people, making a 50’s house look like a new house is like putting teenager clothes on a senior citizen. It’s not age appropriate. Besides, I tell them, I love this style, it holds so many memories. They might not like it, but if they like me, they understand.
And if my teenagers gave me grief, I tell them to buy their own house and decorate it anyway they want.
Laura J says
I live in a 1950’s ranch in Texas — a very plain little house that we love. We are not making it retro-authentic because it just doesn’t suit our lifestyle. BUT I LOVE what I see on Pam’s website, and I love what you said about putting teenage clothes on a senior citizen. We have done some “remodeling” with paint, and we did take down some shelving and a cabinet that separated the living and dining areas, but mainly because we have family and friends over frequently and we REALLY needed the room/traffic flowability more.
While most of the house is pretty basic, I am planning on bringing a bit of retro back to the bathrooms. I have a painted toilet seat from my grandmother’s home — it’s so stinkin’ cute (pun definitely intended) with a hand painted skunk holding a perfume atomizer on the lid! I scored three chalkware skunks that I will hang on the walls after I paint them pink to match the flowers on the toilet seat. 😀
John and Karl says
We find that people either “get” our love of mid century design or they don’t. However, even some people who don’t “get-it” can still appreciate our unique style of decorating and all the time and effort that went into making it as authentic as possible – even if it’s not their taste….the kind of people who are aware of their surroundings, are aware of other people, and do their best to make others feel good by saying nice things. Of course, on the other hand, there are the ones who just give blank stares when they see our style (you can just tell what they’re thinking) and can’t wait to mock it as soon as they get outside. We’ve never had anyone say anything negative about our style to our faces, but I’m sure we’ll get a “constipated” look or a sarcastic, rude comment eventually someday when we move into our mid century home permanently. Thirdly, and just to be fair, there are people out there who are oblivious to everything around them and aren’t quite present, much less able to notice they’re standing in a mid century styled home – they’re really clueless about life so give them a break!
Bottom line – always try to BE NICE TO PEOPLE! Give a compliment even if you don’t believe it – if it makes the other person feel good, what’s the harm? I.E., If a person enters your home with blue or green hair, say how cool it looks regardless of how you really feel. If someone isn’t hurting you or interfering in your lives, embrace and celebrate their uniqueness – it just makes life so much fun and interesting. P.S. If a person close to you wants your honest opinion, that’s something entirely different but you can still say it in a nice way.
LOVE THE SITE, PAM – you are our HEROINE!
Joe Felice says
Like many others, I find it sad that anyone should have to defend something he or she likes. Just like art, music, color, etc., there are so-many different tastes, and those are just opinions–everybody has one. I do not ever feel the need to defend my love of things MCM. I am secure in what I like, and I usually end up feeling sorry for those whose minds are closed, just as in many-other matters. In reality, though, I have discovered my passion is contagious and I often snare unsuspecting victims with it. Before I know it, they are wanting to take the MCM house tour with me! While the depictions in print are often unrealistic (vacuuming and cooking in formal attire, for instance), one thing I always note is how happy the people in pictures are, and I think that is the point–for me, at least. This love takes me back to a simpler, happier time with fond memories, and this positive “vibe” nourishes my soul in the presence of the onslaught of all the negativity in today’s world. I find myself dreaming of going back to the “good, ‘ol days.” Then I see stories and pictures of people like Nora and Cullen, whose souls have never left those days, and wonder “Maybe mine didn’t, either!” And that is such a cool feeling!
Jennifer says
I love how people feel the need to comment rudely about other people’s everything nowadays. It’s called, “smile and nod.”
I agree about people thinking new and expensive = the best. And anything used, even in great condition, is yuck. My brother-in-law said he couldn’t find a wooden dresser (for their new child) under $1000 when his brother asked why he paid so much. Hello, there’s tons of wonderful, gently used, older furniture out there that is solid, gorgeous (and if not, paint it), and cheap. We got out entire Broyhill Saga (and they *knew* what it was) bedroom set (two dressers with custom glass tops, mirror, headboard, footboard, even the original bedrails) for $400 and it is in excellent/mint condition. People just don’t know where to look or what to look for, and rather pay hundreds, if not thousands, for some brand new particle board junk that will be destroyed in a couple of years. If so much of this furniture lasted 40, 50, 60 years without much damage, who is to say it won’t last another 40??
I think the other problem is everyone now loves neutrals-everything is blah and brown, or stark white or stainless steel. It’s as if they are afraid of color, and now it is emphasized when you make updates or remodels to your home (or buy a home), to make sure it looks like what you see in magazines or tv for resale value versus what you like.
Jennifer in PA says
I love our 1953 time capsule ranch. We have been collecting MCM furniture since the early 90’s, even though we didn’t have a name for the style then, when on a tight grad student budget in the mid west. I still have the blonde United Furniture bedroom set, complete with desk and matching chair, but gave up many items that i am still kicking myself for, in order to move several more times. My kids have grown up with the stuff, and when they visit friends houses, they seem to appreciate our interesting older style, understand that we buy quality items for less, and are keeping things out of the landfill. They like going to sales with me, the 12 year old even purchased a 1972 manual for how to behave in high school. I think we are bringing them up with the right sensibility, clean lines, quality made, and reuse/ recycle to the max! Just got them some Eva Gabor wigs from a sale yesterday and we are thinking up Halloween costumes now. They might go as Mick and Keith (doesn’t hurt that they love 60’s rock). I do love DIY and HG TV shows, but frankly, I am so tired of seeing the hosts destroy quality vintage kitchens and bathrooms to give the home owners the bland, granite/ stainless, matte colors, that are so called popular today. please De-update them!
KM says
Oh god, yes. That one woman with the British accent who paints over wood EVERY SINGLE TIME?! It makes my skin crawl. No, lady, do not paint the craftsman wood wainscot in a 1914 white to “open up the space.” You didn’t open up the space, you just made it boring and destroyed a historic feature.
Kaze says
Just say, “I love it! It makes me happy. Hunting for it and putting it together is so much fun!”
Stacie says
And we care what others think about our taste….and why?
I like the term “olds”, btw. I am heading in that direction! With Gods’ help!
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