I have been thinking a lot this summer about labels. Labels have been frequently in the news, often surrounding very serious events. Two labels that occasionally (although not often) come up here are “feminine” and “masculine,” used to describe decor. These days I am not liking these labels. I am thinking: Never again will I use these words on this blog, unless used to examine history. Dear readers, what do you think? Above: In 1954, Kohler did not shy from putting a boy in a pink bathroom. Would any company do this today?
Did you see this recent story about Target’s decision to no longer use gender descriptions to differentiate toys, home and entertainment? I’m liking this.
Here are a few of my thoughts on why the time has come to sideline the terms “feminine” and “masculine” to describe decor and decorating styles:
- It seems that these labels are virtually all driven by cultural norms that change over time and are in no way absolute. For example, we’ve written before about Jo Paolettis’s book, Pink and Blue: Telling the Boys from the Girls in America (affiliate link), which studied how the modern associations of pink for girls and blue for boys rose to prominence relatively recently in the history of child rearing. And wood paneling — probably widely viewed as a man-cave material today — well, that was such a common wall covering for so many decades in the 20th Century that I can’t imagine it was viewed as masculine or feminine. Is there any aspect of a decorating preference that is truly hard-wired into our biology based on our sex? Okay, I did track this story in 2008, but now the source link is dead, so I don’t know how to investigate further.
- These decorating labels promote and reinforce hard-to-change cultural norms that run deep and which limit the behaviors and opportunities of people of both genders. As in: If so-called feminine decor is soft and ornamental –> then so must be girls and women. Ergo, hard-edged, no-nonsense “masculine” decor underscores the notion that men must be these things, too.
- They are stereotypes. Nix these labels and instead, work a little harder to find and use more specific descriptive language about the decorating choices made by each unique individual.
Why do you think about using the terms “feminine” and “masculine” to describe decor, dear readers?
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Sam R says
Here’s some food for thought, especially as a site like this has a creative bent to it: http://www.independent.co.uk/news/lego-letter-from-the-1970s-still-offers-a-powerful-message-to-parents-40-years-later-9878303.html
Be yourself, enjoy life, don’t feel pressured to do things a certain way just because “society” says that’s the way everyone should be.
mag says
Simply put, I don’t think the terms masculine and feminine are anywhere descriptive enough. In fact, I find them rather limiting. This has nothing to do with current gender debates for me. I’ve always thought this. Assigning style descriptions by components displayed, colours used, and periods drawn from makes so much more sense, and offers greater clarity. I’m a details person. Give me details.
Dave says
Just as we need to be careful not to choose trendy materials for our bath and kitchen remodels, we need to be careful about accepting trendy new ways to neutralize our language.
If you’re not going to use feminine or masculine to describe decorating touches within our 20th century focus period (which historically did use these two terms), what other words will you choose to convey the same contrasts?
Describing 20th century art with greige 21st century terms seems silly on a website like this one.
Sully says
Dave, I think Pam’s point is that it’s particularly important on a website like this. People’s notions of what constitutes masculine and feminine has changed dramatically (check out this article about 1950’s children’s apparel: http://thesocietypages.org/socimages/2013/12/16/when-cowboys-wore-pink/). People around the mid-century actually paid much less attention than we do today to whether inanimate objects were appropriate for them based on their gender. There is no reason to needlessly apply a gender to interior decor. Interior decor doesn’t have genitals. The more neutral we are when it comes to current stereotypes, the less likely it is that we will look silly and antiquated to people in the future.
Retroski says
Agreed! It bugs me how gendered little kids’ clothes can be. It take work to find basics in unisex patterns/colors. My kiddo loves dresses but also the color blue. She likes dolls and trains. Don’t listen to the marketers, folks!
Kathy says
When I look at room colors and surfaces, I usually think in terms of mood. As in, cool colors and stone are calmer, warm colors and fabrics can be livelier.
Slightly off topic, but perhaps not, the people mentioning the term “PC” (and they all seem somewhat angry, don’t they?), reminded me of a brilliant observation by Neil Gaiman a couple years ago:
Gaiman said: “I was reading a book (about interjections, oddly enough) yesterday which included the phrase “In these days of political correctness…” talking about no longer making jokes that denigrated people for their culture or for the colour of their skin. And I thought, “That’s not actually anything to do with ‘political correctness’. That’s just treating other people with respect.”
Which made me oddly happy. I started imagining a world in which we replaced the phrase “politically correct” wherever we could with “treating other people with respect”, and it made me smile.
You should try it. It’s peculiarly enlightening.
I know what you’re thinking now. You’re thinking “Oh my god, that’s treating other people with respect gone mad!””
pam kueber says
My personal default is the Golden Rule.
And on this topic, I’m really also interested in underlying facts. Because of my own passion for decorating, and because I now write about it full time, I really am very interested in knowing whether there actually are differences, driven by biology / evolutionary biology, in how we decorate! My husband and I had a long conversation about this last night, when I told him I was running this Open Thread. For example, question: If women were generally relegated to the cave — because they needed to nurse the children — did natural selection begin to occur because the women with better senses of color and smell (for flowers) were deemed better wives or because flowers were an aphrodisiac (sp?)? Or: Are there hormonal differences associated with childbearing that drive women to “nest” more? These are the kinds of things I think about — usually when I’m walking the dog!
Retroski says
I wonder! I don’t think there’s specific m/f decorating styles, but guys do seem attracted to spaces to show off their collections, retreat, or do their work or hobby. Gals seem more interested in creating an environment that is cozy/beautiful/nurturing because it gives life to the space…hence why “traditionally” women go more for decorating then men?
LisB says
That’s a very good point about treating people with respect, but that is not what being politically correct means. Describing something or someone as feminine or masculine is not disrespectful unless used in a disrespectful way.
Robin, NV says
A worthy topic Pam. I completely agree that we should do away with notions of gender preference. You, as a person of authority or “expert in the field” have a responsibility to stand at the front lines in the fight against gender labeling. It is unfortunate that from the day we’re born, society automatically applies gender roles and preferences to us. That will likely never completely disappear but as a modern society we owe it to each other to let people like what they like.
stacia says
This is not something I really have that much opinion about. I get exhausted by all the pc stuff, I have a hard time knowing what to say anymore. But I can imagine that if I were writing about something daily I would care a little more about whether terminology bothered anybody or not. However, it is interesting in the context of the topic–the 1950s especially seem to be a time when the concepts of masculine/feminine were hyper differentiated. Manly men worked and women wore skirts and heels to take care of the house and children. BUT, those constructs were partially created by and certainly reinforced by advertisers and companies trying to sell products to create idealized versions of society. Today, our ideals have changed. So, how to write about yesterday’s ideals for today’s people? Personally, I don’t have a problem with describing a thing as masculine or feminine; I just don’t assume only men like the masculine and only women like the feminine.
pam kueber says
Thank you, Stacia. Yes, I am a writer! For some reason these past few months, I have been thinking a lot about precision of language. And this blog has always delved into matters of “taste” — with what I hope comes through clearly as a joyful embrace of so many different decorating styles. There is actually another word that I am gnawing on: “Sophisticated”. That one’s for another day.
LREKing says
If precision in writing interests you. you should read some Robert B. Parker — especially the Spenser and Jesse Stone novels.
tammyCA says
Oh my, that’s the word (sophisticated) I’ve been ruminating on for a long time! What’s that suppose to mean exactly? Does it mean I’m not sophisticated because I like playful, colorful, fun, cutesy decor? But my personality is actually more on the serious, introspective side.
stacia says
Another thing I’ve been mulling over since I wrote that this morning is that we simply HAVE to have ways to label, sort, categorize everything in our lives. That’s how our brains work. Practically any word can be offensive to someone whether it was said to be offensive or not. If we worry too much about not offending anyone, how are we to accurately describe anything or express ourselves? Is that perhaps partly how greige nation developed?
Furthermore, advertising has always been about selling stuff, and decorating is filled with advertising and products. Todays advertising online can be unbelievably targeted by gender, age, geography, etc. So much of our society is shaped by what we sell and buy. So it seems like while our left hand is fighting stereotypes our right hand is inevitably playing into them and helping to cement them.
Jessie says
I think in every space there will be a mix of what people deem feminine and masculine. My grandpa used to wear pink shirts because in the 40s and 50s (his teen and twenty years) it was perfectly acceptable, while my dad attributes pink to be a girl or gay color.
When it comes to home decor, I personally live in a mcm 60s apartment (that my grandpa had built over his office). It’s full of wood paneling and I just finished (last night) putting in wood laminate flooring – probably fairly masculine to most people. I’m going to offset the masculinity with some bright colors through art and a turquoise couch from Joybird. I would mention rugs, but I’m planning on getting a cowhide rug, which is again more masculine. The point is that feminine and masculine attributes can play off one another to create a space of substance.
midmichigan says
There will forever be differences between men and women. How very boring if that were not so. Embracing and respecting those differences is to expand human civility which was far more in abundance in the MCM era than in today’s culture. I don’t think that the vast number of readers would consider gender decorating differences a “slight” and color stereotyping an offense if you continued to use them on this fine blog.
Al says
I’m not so sure that human civility was more abundant in the MCM era than today. My 98 year old grandmother tells eye opening stories of the verbal abuse that she had to endure and the sadly limited options available to her (nurse or teacher because women’s inate natures supposedly weren’t suited to anything else). (Not to mention that the midcentury brought us a world war which I have heard lacked civility).
The world changes, and I think reducing stereotypes is a good change.
Don G. says
Good grief! What have we come to?
Mary says
I think home décor should be pleasing to the people who live in the house. Also taking into account the fact that some of those people may not care at all what the house looks like. If one member has a personal space, decorate it to their taste.
Bottom line, it’s your blog, do what you feel is right. An attractive room is an attractive room, period.