Are you a “vintage hoarder”? 12 ways to deal when your “blessing” becomes your “curse”

The time has come, I need to come to grips: I am a “vintage hoarder.” No: Not an old woman who hoards everything, although that day may be looming. Yes: A collector who has an extremely difficult time walking away from intriguing vintage — often “useless” — items, of all sorts, that must be rescued. Remember the 39 Fuller Brush spatulas? A high — and low — of my collecting life. But alas, a huge corner of my basement… the storage alcove in my garage… the storage hatch above my garage… two closets… and a significant portion of my attic are already full of such treasures. Yes: I am a vintage hoarder, and I must come to grips. In this post, I talk about the “blessing” and the “curse” of being so gifted in the art of seeing beauty in so many places and things. Yes, the team that wrote the book says it’s a gift. Maybe you have it, too? Read on for my tale, of how this strength can become a weakness, and for some of my ideas of how to deal. Perhaps you have some tales, and ideas, to share, as well?

The Diagnosis

I am not going into great detail on the potential drivers of Vintage Hoarding Disorder (I made this up, VHD, or Vhoarding) — because Randy O. Frost and Gail Steketee already have done so in their book, Stuff: Compulsive Hoarding and the Meaning of Things (affliate link, but seriously, considering the subject of this story: Get it at the library!) Important note: This post is not about full-blown, clinical hoarding; that requires professional intervention; yes, read the book to start, but more importantly, consult with a professional.

To better understand my own “lite” version of the compulsion, I read this book over the summer, and it was fascinating. Randi and Gail are both university professors, Randy is at Smith and as I recall, Gail is at Brown. They have studied the issue of hoarding — serious hoarding, not my vintage hoarding lite — for more than 10 years, and I think they are the undisputed experts. Six months after reading the book, here is what has stuck with me from key points in the books that rang true when I consider my own “diagnosis”:

  • Hoarders often are imbued with a very high level of visual and contextual intelligence. That is, they see meaning in objects… they give meaning to objects… much more intensely than others, who can let stuff go… discard it… with much greater ease. This book is amazingly empathetic regarding the issue; it was marvelous — not judgmental at all. Yes, this is it for me — and maybe you, too, I think: We have an incredible visual intelligence… and a huge heart, when it comes to things. I know for a fact, that I could NOT let those 39 Fuller Brush spatulas go to a dumpster! They were strange and wonderful relics of a time gone by. At another estate sale, the last day, I bought a dead woman’s entire life’s worth of personal photographs. I could NOT let those go to a dumpster. They were her life! This is typical reasoning of a hoarder. Just like the books’ title says, we have this incredible ability to give meaning to stuff. We are not really part of today’s “throwaway” society; trashing useful items or items that hold (or better said: which we ‘give’) sentimental meaning, pains us. However, when the hoarding starts to control us or to put crushing weight upon us — not so good.
  • The other thing I remember from the book that rang true for me, is that the act of accumulation can be social. That is: We go shopping, or spend hours on ebay, instead of going out for drinks with friends, or whatever. I know, for example that I am fundamentally introverted. I regain energy from my “me” time. At the same time, I have a very active mind — and as described above — I’m super visual. So during my “me” time, I might go onto ebay or go to the Goodwill — and end up buying stuff.

When a Blessing becomes a Curse

  • Analogy: If you are really detail-oriented in your research when you need to make a decision, the result is that you can make really good decisions. Flip side, though, is when you are so thorough you can’t make a decision at all — you are paralyzed. This is when a “strength” — thoroughness — becomes a “weakness” — indecision. The same principle goes for vintage hoarding. Today, my collections are not so bad that they have taken over my house — all the living and bedroom areas are clear. But, I know my passion has gone too far when … I can’t find what I am looking for… when I think about how, when I die, someone will have to clean all my stash out, and it will be an ordeal… and, when I feel “crushed” by the weight of those unattended piles, tucked away in their nooks though they may be. I know that to process my piles is going to take, like, a month. *Crushing weight of something big un-done = Stress.* Feng shui is all about creating spaces where positive energies can flow and flourish; any clutter and any piles above or below are impeding that energy.

The Cure

I have been *thinking* about strategies more than applying them, yet, alas. But here are some thoughts:

  1. I read the book, which gave me compassionate insight into my dilemma. It gave me facts to help understand why I have this problem. But not in a harsh, self-judging way. Au contraire, it made me feel good about this strength of mine. I am always more motivated by the positive than by the negative. Now, I am kind of super-proud of my book-recognized visual intelligence. Now, my challenge — a positive one — is how to channel that intelligence in a positive way.
  2. When I go to estate sales, I am only going to try to buy stuff that I can turn into art. Visual intelligence = artist. Yes! For example, I have this idea. I love these time capsule estate sale houses — for the stuff, but also for the lives lived there, that I can see through the stuff. Here’s how I will make art out of each estate sale: I will take a big plastic container box with me to each sale. I will look for a substrate (an old not-valuable painting or framed something… something hangable) and then, I will look for little its and bits and pieces from this house and the family who lived there. I will take a photo of the house. And I will keep a copy of the estate sale listing. Then I will collage all the best pieces to create a hangable vintage collage. Only stuff from that house, plus the listing ad and a small photo of the house, gets on the collage. After I have like 20 houses, I will see if I can get my artwork into an exhibition, even if it’s at a local coffee shop. Maybe I will sell them, maybe I won’t. But I think this artistic application combining all the reasons I vintage-hoard will be very gratifying. Please, steal this idea if you like it. Send me pics of your creations. P.S. I will try really really hard not to buy anything else at the estate sale, unless I really really need it, and I tell you, I need nothing. Some other ideas to shop-vintage-to-make-art: Only look for vintage ornaments and learn how to make vintage ornament wreaths like Suzy. Take them to craft fairs at Christmas time. Her wreaths — very well made ones — are selling for $100.
  3. Another strategy for estate sales and shops: Get a nice camera and learn how to use it, start a blog, and take photos instead. (Be sure to get appropriate permissions before taking photos in private spaces and posting photos to the web.)
  4. Get your visual fix by going to museum exhibits. Go on all the tours and to all the lectures — get smart. I once met a longtime boyfriend at a museum. Just sayin’.
  5. Be a decorating maximalist. Pull all your fabulous stuff out of all those piles and put all your favorite items onto your walls. As much as you possibly can. Holes everywhere. Fill every space. I recently began doing this in my office, and a friend who saw it commented, “Gosh, now the room really looks like you.” Well, yes, it does. What took me so long? 🙂 Choose a great paint color then make your walls a collage… a glorious mosaic… of all the vintage lovelies that you have collected. Do this in every darn room, if that’s what you want. Your friends already know you have this thing about vintage. Who are you fooling. Get it all out there, let your freak flag fly. P.S. When you die and they have the estate sale, it will be a lot easier for them to sell it right off the wall than out of boxes. Not to be morbid, but.
  6. Sell stuff on ebay. But you really have to do it. Really really. If you decide this is a strategy for you, I hereforeto order you: No buying anything else, until you sell 10 items on ebay. Once you sell 10 items, you can buy 5 more. But until you whittle the piles down, no loading them up further. Also, you can think of it this way: If you spend three hours accumulating, plan for 15 hours moving the stuff out via ebay. Now, doesn’t that slow you down? Put a starting price of what you paid for an item — and just let it go, let it flow, out into the retro universe.
  7. Open a booth in an antique mall or become a picker for a dealer. See #3, though. You really really have to do it. No making piles.
  8. If you’re gonna be deep into vintage, buy ONLY vintage. Don’t buy new stuff, too. That way, it can still be about the hunt, and you will save money (only if you really buy what you really need) and save stuff from going to landfills. Anytime you can narrow your collecting focus, you make the hunt more difficult, which means you will acquire less. Theoretically.
  9. No “buying stuff to hold your stuff.” This is only enabling. I have cartop carrier, that we never use; it’s in the shed; I have stuff to hold my stuff to hold my stuff. Shoot me.
  10. But, do organize your stuff so that you can get at it for your art projects. Make yourself a beautiful craft space. This kind of organization has a goal: To make space to use the stuff to make art. You will spend more time making art with what you already have, than accumulating more stuff. Theoretically.
  11. Take your clean-up and organization projects slow or you will get overwhelmed. How about 1/2 hour a day.
  12. Become more social: Collect more friends. Call a friend for lunch or a drink after work or a cup of coffee and homemade muffins — even if it’s just once a week or one more time each week. I’m always reading that what makes us most happy — even we introverts — is people. That said, I still know I my “visual intelligence” demands I spend a lot of time searching out visual beauty. Surely, it’s all about maintaining a healthy balance.

So what do you think, dear readers?
Do you have a strong impulse, like me, to vintage-hoard?
What steps do you recommend to keep it under control?

 

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Comments

  1. says

    I echo so much of what I’ve read here. Very visual, introvert. I’ve been collecting for about 10 years, branching from clothing to household, wall art, movie posters etc etc. Love and use most of my things, and I also have dedicated items to sell.

    This fall I had some counselling and I think that in my dysfunctional family as the third child I’m what’s called The Lost Child. Lost Children withdraw. Here’s a tiny quote: “The Lost Child often has few friendships, and commonly has difficulty finding a marriage partner. Instead, he or she may attempt to find comfort in his or her material possessions, or a pet. ”

    This is me! Does it ring a bell with any of you? Anyway, just my 2 farthings lol

    http://www.mudrashram.com/dysfunctionalfamily2.html

  2. Jeff says

    Do what I did- become a dealer! It’s lead from being a “collector” who couldn’t part with anything to a dealer who CAN part with anything.

    It frees you up to seeking out new undiscovered things, and keeps it interesting.

  3. Ann Bloom says

    I can’t believe I found your site today…this very ‘issue’ has been weighing on me for awhile. I have such an affinity for vintage items, and they seem to show up in my world in droves. What to do??
    You’ve given me a lot to think about. Your research and suggestions are so helpful! Thank you.

  4. Stacy says

    I’ve moved from 4000 sq. ft, to 3500, sq. ft., now down to 1500 sq. ft. (my mid-century modest) in a conscious attempt to curb this “problem.” I love to hunt, find, and collect, but it can get out of hand.

    What works for me is to figure out what I’m distracting myself from by “hunting” instead. Like when my vintage Hall teapot collection reached a total of 35, all on display, when my husband and I had trouble conceiving. That one was easy to figure out! Not that there’s anything wrong with loving teapots-I still do! But I collect at a much more reasonable rate if I stop and make a list of the things in my life and home that REALLY need attention.

    I’ve been trying to make myself tackle a few things on the list before I get the reward bringing stuff home. Anyway, just thought I’d add another way to try and turn what can become a problem into motivation to do things differently.

    • Sam says

      Question: if your husband, friends, family weren’t telling you that you have too much stuff, would you feel ‘crushed’? Is this guilty, overwhelming feeling of having too much found mostly in women? From the responses above, it seems the two men that responded have more positive view towards their stuff. Maybe that’s why the majority of collectors on American Pickers are men? What would happen if women said it’s ok to do and have things they enjoy? Just questions, I have no answers…

  5. says

    I was at the tail end of a house wide de-cluttering when someone set fire to our home in a random act of arson. My family was home and in our beds. We escaped with the clothes on backs.

    I did pull a few things out of the ashes, but mainly I just wanted to walk away. I have mourned the loss of specific paintings, letters, journals and my kids’ artwork and writing. Other than that I haven’t looked back.

    I own the book “STUFF.” I bought it because my mom is a vintage hoarder. When we rebuilt we made a little 500 square foot cottage that connects to our house via a breezeway. My family’s year long odyssey after the fire: moving three times, struggling with PTSD, insurance and the stress of building a house paled in comparison to the angst of moving my mother out of her house. We moved her into her new place (liberated her) and then dealt with all the crap left behind.

    “If Martha Stewart was a hoarder” is the way I describe my mother. Beautiful things but TOO D#*N MUCH!

    Our baby and childhood pictures, beautifully framed were mouldering in her basement where she had shoved them in boxes to make room for vases and planters and pedestals and platters.

    It has been seven months since we moved in and I find myself reluctant to buy things. Before the fire I was trying to get our life down to clothes, books, art on the walls and food because I too love pretty things but hate feeling overwhelmed by having more than I can manage.

    I like that “STUFF” addresses the stress hoarding places on children. It can’t be overstated. It is so stressful and shame inducing having a parent who is completely out of control.

    My mother is a kind and loving person. She would do anything for me, and what I wish, is that she had gotten a handle on her belongings long ago.

    Thank you for this post.

  6. says

    I was just rereading this post and the comments today, and then I found this sad article about hoarding being a fire hazard. It says how difficult it is for firefighters to navigate a house because the usual markers are obscured by stuff:

    http://usnews.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/02/16/10429065-hoarded-items-bury-man-killed-in-house-fire

    Then get the last paragraph in the article: a problem becoming more common?

    As much as I love vintage stuff and as much as I am visual, I still cannot be a hoarder. My mom is a hoarder (not to the point of being on the cable show, but still). Then, my sister became one when she entered her 50s. When I look at something I see how useful, or not, something is. If it has no use, out it goes. My mom and sister don’t see things, they see memories, feelings, possibilities, protection. I told my DH to give me a good talking-to if I start doing that.

  7. Pyrexmaniac says

    where do I begin?
    I don’t think of my collecting as an illness or a fad…..I think of it like money in the bank. The way that values of good quality vintage modern furnishings have increased over the past several years, I consider my “inventory” a safe and secure investment. Fortunately, I own a large home with lots and lots of storage space, in addition to income property with more and more storage space, including a 2-car garage and full basement. Will I ever part with the stuff? Yeah, eventually…..but I have to be ready and willing to take the plunge.

    I started with smalls, primarily glass and pottery and housewares. I expanded into lamps and fixtures, dining and desk chairs, artwork, photography, textiles, rugs, casegoods, and now, upholstered pieces.

    I became disabled and unable to work two years ago, yet I continue to buy and stock my inventory, so to speak. I cherry pick, of course (who doesn’t) and I have learned more and more about the value and rarity of the things I like. I’m looking forward to the day when I have the motivation to sell most of the items I’ve accumulated. Perhaps open an e-store?

    I like the fact that I am actively recycling and helping the environment through my collecting.

  8. Hiding says

    I’m a full-on hoarder. I wish I could confine it to just vintage items. I haven’t read all of your comments yet. So please tell me what happened to your spatulas? I’ll bet they are much better quality than the cheapo imports available today.

  9. The Hoarder's Wife says

    I read this book the beginning of the year, as well, and it was fascinating. Matt Paxton, of A&E’s Hoarders, released a similarly interesting book about his experiences. It’s hard to let go of things or to walk away, especially if you know it might be a hard-to-find piece.

    I struggle with this in my own home, as a restorer, and as the wife of a hoarder in denial. I fully admit it’s hard to throw away something my grandmother had for years, even if it’s broken, too old to be useful, or neatly packed away and not taking up too much space. I have a closet full of vintage bakeware right now that needs to be pruned down and organized. It’s still tough.

    I know I saw a couple comments above about it not being a problem if one’s spouse/family/friends wasn’t complaining; I guarantee it would be, but they wouldn’t be able to see it as such. That’s the trouble. It’s a collection, even if it’s piles of unknown things. It can still stress the hoarder out, without them understanding why. It certainly effects everyone else in the house. It causes immense stress in mine. I wish he’d read this book.

    Sorry about the massive, off-topic comment.

  10. Joe says

    Reading this and laughing, crying (I am drinking red wine it’s totally normal) and understanding myself. ‘Visual intelligence’ huh? I will have to run that by my long suffering husband. My addiction to collecting has got worse over the years and if it’s old/vintage/retro and a bargain I can’t pass it up. If I’m having a strong day I leave it where it is, after carrying it around the shop like a baby, put it back and then inevitably go back to look for it a couple of days later to find it gone! and then feel I was vindicated and should have bought it because obviously someone else also saw the potential/value and bought it after I had put it down…..mind games, all in my head.

    • pam kueber says

      The mind game I play with myself in these kinds of instances: I think, “Do I really need it?” If “no,” then I say, “I will leave it for someone who really does.”

    • says

      The second time going back, maybe try to think of it as “Someone else wanted it more!” So it went to an even BETTER home. I’m a big believer in sleeping on it. I have favorites on etsy that have a three- to six-month waiting period! If it’s still there, it’s mine to rescue!

  11. Karol B. says

    Relating to this so completely! I now know the reason I love this blog. Thanks so much Pam for sharing this informational insight into myself as well as fellow “artists”. Ideas are stirring…..

  12. Brian D. says

    I sympathize with your Vintage Hoarding as I seem to have the same disorder , probably worse though . I think I can help , if you are willing to part with one of your Dishmaster Sunburst panels it may go a long way to easing you into the difficult transition back to a ‘normal life’ ? I’ve been searching a long time and all I can find are your pictures , teasing me . I did try contacting Dishmaster as you suggested but no luck , What do you think ?

  13. Callie says

    Most hoarders I know end up ruining the stuff they hoard. It’s a shame because it ruins it for the rest of us and drives up prices. Just think, there are more people out there who would love and cherish the items that are hiding under the bed. Just let it go.

  14. Lisa says

    It’s a social thing,indeed. I would much rather spend time alone thrifting or crafting than socialize with human beings. What can I say? I’m my own best friend.

    But I do resell 98% of my buys. It still gets overwhelming, but the mental attachment to “things” just isn’t there for me.

  15. lisa says

    I have started a new way to conserve my money and curb some of the hoarding ..when I go to an estate sale or thrift shop I lock my money in the car… that stops my impulse buying and the water stays turned on at my house. If I want it bad enough and it is a super cannot pass up deal then I will make the extra effort to go back for the money.. who needs to shower anyway 😉

  16. says

    I HATE extraneous stuff in my living space, but I SO love to rescue things (I like your spatulas, by the way), and I have great difficulty chucking things. Selling online is my answer. My basement is full of “junk,” my living area is not. I can be pleased to know my pile in the basement is a rotating pile that makes me money. If it stops rotating I’ll have a problem. I can’t tell you all the things I list because I can’t bear to throw them out (here’s my latest example: https://www.etsy.com/listing/184208335/cafe-curtain-rods-tension-rods-vintage – notice the “I don’t know why anyone would want them, but I’ll let YOU decide that” in the description). Thankfully, people will buy ANYTHING.

  17. says

    I love this post! Years of living in a tiny apartment got my husband and I over the hoarding we both so wanted to engage in–and we definitely have a “show it off and use it” rule. We still have boxes of trinkets in the basement, but we try to change them up every six months or so. With the kids it becomes a game: put on some records in the basement, and sift through stuff for old treasures to put back on the shelf again. When we begin to overflow with stuff, we make the hard decision and call Vietnam Vet pickup–we out everything on our porch, and they drive it away for resale to Goodwill and Salvation Army.

    If it’s ONLY in a box, please do give it away or sell it! Think of it as the Toy Story approach. Objects are meant to be enjoyed, not stashed away in the dark and forgotten just for keepsake.

    My mom has an attic and closet full of boxes of things, and when I went through them and said I’d be taking them home, she was offended I’d dream of “stealing” her stuff. We recently bought a turntable and I mentioned I’d love her 45s, which are currently sitting in boxes on boxes in a closet, untouched for twenty years. Her response? “But they’re MINE.”

    My response: “Would you rather they sit in a closet where they go unused and untouched, or let them live out their lives like they’re supposed to? Let someone else enjoy them?” She caved on a few other things, so I’m hoping I might get her Motown 45s yet. They’re begging to be played again, I know it! Set The Temptations free!

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